Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain...and most fools do.
- Benjamin Franklin

i'm in gryffindor!

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

From my dad - Fwd: A message from Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton

Thank you for writing to me about one of the most important issues currently facing our nation, and that is the effort by some members of the United States Senate to violate rules of this august body in order to end filibusters against judicial nominations, an effort that has become known as the "nuclear option." This term appropriately describes what some of my colleagues are attempting to do because if they were to be successful in this effort, it would mark the first time in the history of the United States that the Senate changed its internal rules of governance without following its own rules and procedures for amending those internal rules of governance. In short, some senators are not just trying to change the rules but are seeking to violate an important rule that they do not like in order to prevent a substantial minority of Senators from being able to participate in any meaningful way in the consideration of federal judicial nominations. Through an exercise of sheer power, they are attempting to place themselves above the rules to which all Senators agreed to abide.

If invoked, the "nuclear option" would be, in my view, one of the most egregious abuses of powers that the Senate has experienced in its history. The rules are somewhat technical in terms of how they work but the bottom line is that the purpose of the filibuster and related rules is to ensure that no one political party has unfettered power over the other and over the millions of Americans that the substantial minority of Senators represent. Congress after Congress, decade after decade, Senators have agreed unanimously that to get rid of the filibuster would require a super-majority, not a simple majority, and that makes sense. Important Senate rules governing minority rights should not be able to be easily changed but should instead be changed only when there is very strong support, a super-majority, to do so. By resorting to the "nuclear option", violating these rules by requiring only a simple majority rather than super majority to get rid of the filibuster in judicial nominations, the majority seeks to turn the United States Senate into a rubber stamp for President Bush's extreme judicial nominees and force all Senators to abdicate our constitutional responsibility of advice and consent. As one sworn to uphold the Constitution, that is something that I cannot and will not do, and that is why I will continue to do all I can to fight for our democratic traditions. The Constitution, which is the foundation of our democracy, very clearly sets up what we call a balance of power. That is an important concept, which is critical to how successful we have been as a nation, even during the most turbulent of times.

Unfortunately, some members of the Senate majority want to undermine, rather than preserve, that balance. Because of the extreme positions taken by some of President Bush's judicial nominees, the majority is, understandably, unable to muster enough votes on these nominations. Instead of negotiating and looking to find common ground, they have simply decided to violate the rules to reach their desired outcome. Kids on playgrounds across America have a word for this kind of behavior: it is called "cheating," and it is wrong. No one should support this kind of arrogance of power, especially in a democracy.

Let me also underscore that as of today, the United States Senate has confirmed 205 of President Bush's judicial nominations, 100 of whom were confirmed during the relatively brief period of time that my party colleagues held the Senate majority. Indeed, at the end of the 108th Congress, we had the lowest vacancy rate on the federal courts in 14 years. Only 10 Bush nominees have been rejected, each because he or she failed to demonstrate a sufficient commitment to protecting the rights and freedoms of all Americans. Therefore, in contrast to claims made by some, the Senate minority members have not been "obstructionist." To the contrary, we have a strong record of confirming almost all of President Bush's judicial nominees. Indeed, just two weeks ago, I spoke on the Senate floor in strong support of the nomination of Paul Crotty, who was nominated to serve as a judge on the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York. This nomination was confirmed unanimously, not because every Senator believed that he or she would agree with all of Judge Crotty's rulings, but, I believe, because we each had faith that he would do his best to abide by the rule of law and uphold our Constitution.

Unfortunately, President Bush has nominated a few people to serve on our federal courts for life that I and many of my colleagues believe would not abide by the rule of law, which is why some of these nominees were not confirmed. Now, to stack the courts with these nominees and other extreme judges, the majority is attempting to violate long-established and agreed to Senate rules in order to do away with a constitutional check on the power of the President to pick any judicial nominees he pleases. This is wrong and inconsistent with American values. Rest assured that I will do all that I can to ensure that this does not happen.

Monday, April 25, 2005

Not enough of a cat

My sister forwarded this e-mail to me. My brother "confirmed" it at Urban Legends Reference Pages: Photo Gallery (Toner Mouse). It's supposed to be funny, but all I can think is, Oh my God, oh my God, that poor mouse, it's dead, oh that poor mouse. I'm a big softie. Obviously, I've not enough cat-ness to me to find this "LOL .. hilarious!" Perhaps you sick bastards do and will.

Friday, April 22, 2005

Seeking justice in Spain

Spain to try 9/11 terror suspects
Twenty-four people suspected of being part of the 11 September 2001 attacks on the US will go on trial in the Spanish capital, Madrid, on Friday.

Prosecutors want three of the men to receive a total of more than 60,000 years in jail - 25 for each victim.
Damn fuckin' straight. God bless the Spanish.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Well, I mean, how could I not blog about this?

Chinese Men Measure Up to Others Below the Belt
"Our conclusion is that Hong Kong people are no smaller than Western men, where their penises are concerned," said Chan Lung-wai, director of the Urology Center at the Union Hospital, who headed the study.
Naturally, I wonder if they included Japanese men in this study, and if they compared Chinese to Japanese and what the result was. Somehow, considering the current (and long-standing) international political environment, I don't think the results of that particular comparison would be unbiased, or at all favorable to the Japanese.
A group of scientists in Hong Kong spent five months from October last year measuring 148 ethnic Chinese volunteers aged between 23 and 93.
What a horrible, horrible job. Sure, there may be some slutty het girls or 'mo guys out there who'd say, "Woo! Feeling up male members all day! Sign me up, Chairman!" I would then have to remind those lil' 'hos that the range covered 23 (okay, fine) to 93 (oh my dear lord in heaven). Also, sex organs are ugly. And lord only knows where they've been sticking that thing. Ew.

Also, those readers who are of lesser experience who bothered to read the link now know what to expect when a guy takes his shorts off.

...Disappointing, isn't it?
[The study] found that a man's height bore no relation to the length of his member, but those with higher body mass indexes, or fat content, appeared to have shorter penises.

"It seems that as someone gets older and fatter, his blood vessels change, so the penile size is not static. It may be a reflection of the condition of the person's blood vessels," Chan said, adding that this could spur yet another study. [emphasis mine, 'cause, like, ew]
See, sluts? Not a pleasant job. Imagine the fet man's penis study, though. Or don't. Really, you don't need that image in your head, do you? Uch.

Still, how sad is that? Not only is Mister Fatty McFatbutt too physically gross (in both senses of the word) to attract females, but he can't even pleasure the self-hating ones who do decide to lower their standards and sleep with him. Also, we now know that the fat ones really haven't seen Mister Happy in years.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Because I'm so easily amused

Subject: URGENT ASSISTANCE.
From: "FROM MRS MONICA KABILA."
Date: Sun, April 4, 2004 10:48 am
Priority: Normal



Return-Path: monikabila1@simbamail.fm
Madam Monica Kabila.
Introduction.
My Dear,


PLEASE REPLY ME WITH THIS PRIVATE EMAIL monikabila1@simbamail.fm




It is my pleasure to contact you for a business venture which I and my Son
Mack,intend to establish in your country.




Though I have not met with you before but I believe,one has to risk confiding in
succeed sometimes in life.




There is this huge amount of Eigtheen million U.S dollar($18,000,000.00)which my
late Husband kept for us with a Security Company in Abidjan before he was
assasinated by unknown persons.



Now I and my son decided to invest these money in your country or anywhere safe
enough outside Africa for security and political reasons.



We want you to help us claim and retrieve these fund from the Fiduciary Security
Holders and transfer it into your personal account in yourcountry for investment
purposes on th ese areas:


1). Telecommunication


2). the transport industry


3). Five star hotel



If you can be of an assistance to us we will be pleased to offer you 10% Of the
total fund.



PLEASE REPLY ME WITH THIS PRIVATE EMAIL, You can as well reach my son mack with this
private number which is 008821655515306, monikabila1@simbamail.fm



I await your soonest response.


Respectfully yours,


Mrs. Monica Kabila.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

And Halifax's eyes bleed

I'm a sucker for these things. If Halifax does, in fact, read The Very Secret Diary of M. T. Cicero and his head explodes or his eyes melt out of his head or something, could you let me know?

Friday, April 08, 2005

Pimp: the Backhanding card game (I shit you not)

Why didn't I hear of this sooner? Why did I have to find out about it from reading the notes accompanying an old "Something Positive" comic? Why is no one writing volumes of twisted, evil, and deeply humorous posts regarding White Wolf's Pimp: the Backhanding utilizing the character types from their other Noun: the Gerund games? C'mon, people! This is fucking hi-la-ri-ous!

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Please help out, if you can

A friend of mine is trying to raise money for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. She's "required to raise a minimum of $1,800 to participate," but so far her donations are only up to $765. I thought I'd post here, in case someone might be willing to help out. I'm not asking you to donate lots, just what you can, if you can. (I, myself, am on my fiscal last legs, which are looking rather stumpy and infected right now....)

It's for a good cause and she's a great person. (She also is mommy to one of the cutest babies I've ever, ever seen.) Hope folks can help.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Cogito, Ergo Sumana for 2001 October

I was looking around for the lyrics to the Powdered Milk Biscuits song from Prairie Home Companion and ran across this in some Berkeleyite's four-year old weblog:
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Taliban. Er, Azkaban. But seriously, folks, Goblet of Fire, the most recent Harry Potter novel, certainly alludes to terrorism, albeit magical.

I think I gave that book back to Dan, but maybe I could skim some passages again at a bookstore or something. The Harry Potter books really do get more thought-provoking and morally complex as the series progresses. I'm looking forward to seeing J.K. Rowling's next work.
Makes me feel less stupid for reading the books. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only adult I know (not including family) who reads these books.

Happy Birthday, Mr. Andersen

Today's Hans Christian Andersen's 200th birthday.

Thanks for the Red Shoes, the New Clothes, and the Ugly Duckling.

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Fatty Fat McFatbutt, American

Americans face drop in life expectancy - Some claim obesity will cut years off US lives by the 2050s.

As my mother said in her e-mail when she forwarded this to me, "Well, that'll take care of the Social Security deficit."

For the first time in recent history, researchers are predicting that the life expectancy of Americans may begin a sustained decline.

The forecast is based on the sharp rise in obesity in today's youth. By the middle of this century, the increased risk of diabetes, heart disease and cancer that they will face could lessen the average life expectancy by two to five years, some say.

In general, longevity predictions are determined by studying historical trends in death rates. Various agencies, such as the US Social Security Administration (SSA), have used this method to predict that the life expectancy of Americans will continue to rise over the next century.

But Jay Olshansky, a biodemographer at the University of Illinois at Chicago, argues that they ignore the effect of obesity on future generations.


My favorite part of this article is the picture of the fat kid with the spikey hair and red shirt staring with unsurpressed gleeful anticipation at something that looks like it has as many fat calories in it as his body has fat cells.

Wrap-around sunglasses for the pooch

I was clicking away, as I do when I'm avoiding things, when I came across Doggles.

I've a dear friend, like a sister to me, whom I've known since we were in high school. She is a lesbian living in Southern California who is getting to that point that some people who don't expect to have children of their own do of treating her dogs like her children. She sends pictures of them to friends, family, and acquaintances as often as Lieutenant Colonel Hughes shows of pictures of his little girl on FullMetal Alchemist.

I want to get her Doggles for her three dogs. I think that would kick ass. I think they'd crack her up, which she needs while trying to work her way through the evils of being a screenwriter in L.A.

... I need a job, damn it.

Mein Gott im Himmel

I don't know whether I'm laughing at the extreme geekiness of this item or squealing like an extreme geek. In any case, I think someone I know needs to have a Darth Vader Sprinkler. I don't know who. But someone needs to "[l]et the Dark Side defend [their] lawn from the ravages of summer heat or cool [them] off on a hot day with this Darth Vader sprinkler!"

Oh. Oh no. "Standing 10" tall, this great new Vader sprinkler spins around with water spraying action, wielding his lightsaber in a furious battle to save your lawn!" I laugh. I cry. I've no idea how to cope with something this...what? Geeky? Ridiculous? Star Warsy? I especially love this picture, where it looks like Vader's fighting with himself while playing in the sprinkler.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Squee!

It's here! The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy :: The Official Movie Website. Am ridiculously excited over it. Which is stupid, as I know I'll be disappointed, but...Marvin's voice by Alan Rickman! Stephen Fry as The Book! That's so froody! And...ooh! Is that John Malkovich?

Friday, March 18, 2005

Random kitten generator

At first I thought posting a link to this site would prevent Maggie from ever doing another thing again besides clicking on kittens, requiring some sort of intervention by a deeply concerned and loving Ryan by mid-May. Then I realized it's actually a recruitment site for Maggie's Kitten Army, as the examples below show:
Maggie's Kitten Army Recruit In ROTC, as shown on www.cutelittlekittens.com

See? So very obviously a promotional shot of one of Maggie's army kittens in training.

Maggie's Kitten Army Recruits In PTP Training, as shown on www.cutelittlekittens.com

This must be a photo illustrating their paw-to-paw combat training process.

I find myself mesmirized.


Transcript from when Sugar Kat found said site:
KITTEN! EEEE!

*clickitty*

SO! CUTE!

*clickitty*

GAH! EVEN MORE WITH THE CUTENESS!

*passes out from cute and furry sensory overload*

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Bad badness abounds!

You really need to go check out this book description and its reviews on Amazon.com. If you want, you can even "preview" this example of vanity-press publication, which was culled from some guy's collected works of online fiction. Then, after reading the preview, you, too, can post about how gawdawful it is. Join in the fun!

That having been said, these nori snacks my friend Mitsuki-chan brought up from the City with her and then generously supplied me with kick all kinds of salty-goodness ass. Yum!

Friday, March 11, 2005

To blog or not to blog

I'm not sure why I haven't deleted this thing already. I have that other place I write. Those of you who want to read it, let me know.

Anyway, Things are getting absolutely crazy with school, and I'm not entirely certain I'm graduating. I know I won't have a job to go to if/when I do, which makes me so nervous and unhappy, I can't actually permit myself to think about it or I get physically ill.

I distract myself with reading manga, thinking about television shows, typing away in the other place I write, and now messing with pictures to make icons and banners and such. Which is stupid. I should be working on back work. But I can't focus, as I start thinking about the future and get scared sick and have to go lie down. So I do a little bit of work, then go do things like write this entry in this blog.

I'm an adult. Why can't I act like one?

At any rate, this is my attempt to keep this blog updated. Let me know if I should continue, will you?

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Ha ha ha, muthafukka!

PRESS RELEASE: Science Fiction Authors Hoax Vanity Publisher

Over a holiday weekend last year, some thirty-odd science fiction writers banged out a chapter or two apiece of "Atlanta Nights," a novel about hot times in Atlanta high society. Their objective: to write a deeply awful novel to submit to PublishAmerica, a self-described "traditional publisher" located in Frederick, Maryland.

The project began after PublishAmerica posted an attack on science fiction authors at one of its websites (http://www.authorsmarket.net/). PublishAmerica claimed "As a rule of thumb, the quality bar for sci-fi and fantasy is a lot lower than for all other fiction.... [Science fiction authors] have no clue about what it is to write real-life stories, and how to find them a home." It described them as "writers who erroneously believe that SciFi, because it is set in a distant future, does not require believable storylines, or that Fantasy, because it is set in conditions that have never existed, does not need believable every-day characters."

The writers wanted to see where PublishAmerica puts its own quality bar; if the publisher really is selective, as the company claims, or if it is a vanity press that will accept almost anything, as publishing professionals assert.

"Atlanta Nights" was completed, any sign of literary competence was blue-penciled, and the resulting manuscript was submitted.

PublishAmerica accepted it.
Oh, please, please read the rest. It is so, so damned funny. There's even a link to the shitty novel. So lovely.

All is vanity

The buffalo jumped over a steel panel during the Black Hills Stock Show & Rodeo on Sunday morning, went down an alley and got into the dressing room reserved for visiting sports teams, said Brian Maliske, the civic center's general manager.

[...]

The crew conducting the Black Hills Classic Buffalo Sale decided to keep the animal locked in the dressing room for the rest of the auction. During its two hour stay, it reportedly became fascinated with the image it saw in a big mirror.

TX Teens Increased Sex After Abstinence Program

Despite taking courses emphasizing abstinence-only themes, teenagers in 29 high schools became increasingly sexually active, mirroring the overall state trends, according to the study conducted by researchers at Texas A&M University.

"We didn't see any strong indications that these programs were having an impact in the direction desired," said Dr. Buzz Pruitt, who directed the study.

The study was delivered to the Texas Department of State Health Services, which commissioned it.

The federal government is expected to spend about $130 million to fund programs advocating abstinence in 2005, despite a lack of evidence that they work, Pruitt said.
Your tax dollars at work, folks. I'd be snigering if it weren't so damned pathetic.