Jerk Squad!! R.I.P.

It once was funny. Now it's not.* Bow your heads, little children. Bow your heads.

*Now there is a funny response which should be left alone but is changed into some sort of personal diary entry whining about parental units or some such shit. If you're lucky enough to get a funny response. Ugh.

Holidays I hate the most

Saint Valentine's Day, naturally, bites it royally. I think it does for every single person. Also for those who are unhappily attached. It's a sucky holiday meant for the priveledged few who are in love and happy about it.

Good thing: cheap chocolates the day after.

New Year's sucks ass even more though. There's supposed to be this whole thing of reviewing the year past and getting started anew on the year ahead. My New Year's events always suck and are always with a parental unit. This year, Mom. It will be very, very bad. I had the opportunity to spend New Year's alone in my elder sister's house, but opted to stay here with Mom. I know all we'll do is fight and maybe drink champagne. I think the only reason I'm here is the champagne, which I like if it's good, and my mom's as choosey as I am about champagne. Every year starts the same and I hate that horrible feeling that I should start afresh but knowing it'll all go into the same shit as the previous year no matter what. I am who I am and all that. There will be no improvement. I don't need that depressing reminder every g*ddamned year. I'd rather just pretend it's not happening, beyond the change in year on my checks.

Good thing: champagne. And sometimes shrimps and cocktail sauce. I like sharing the shrimp tails with Oscar, who likes them even more than I do, which seems impossible.

My birthday, which is not a holiday but shall be included here for pretty much the same reason as New Year's. Except there's no champagne. And most everyone forgets my birthday. It's not that I mind bothering with my age, which is thirty, thank you very much. It's that there's nothing to celebrate at this point. What the hell have I done with my life? How will my life be better a year from my birthday? I won't, unless I can pull off another stunt like just after my 29th, when I quit my job from hell and went back to school. Can't do that. It'll just remind me of how much I haven't done and will never get to do. How nice. Lovely.

Good thing: my nephews still cared about my birthday last time. S-- got really excited about giving me my presents from France. It was really sweet. Lord knows that won't last much longer.

More stash!

More things arrived yesterday.

• From Nice Guy SheepBoy:
  LEGOLAS! 12" figurine. (Can't find a picture of it anywhere.) Now I really can play at Battle of Bath Tub Deep.



• From elder sister:
  a little shopping trip to Eddie Bauer which resulted in more p.j. bottoms, some socks, and a nice sleeper top.

My elder sister likes to spoil me, much to the annoyance of her husband, who considers me to be very spoiled indeed. This may be true, but he doesn't have to give me that dirty look.

Also...

THANK YOU, SHEEPBOY, FOR THE SPLENDIFEROUS LEGOLAS! My nephews are jealous. ;)

LotR diary

Have finally seen Return of the King. Am v. happy that Aragorn has finally taken a bath. Looks v. sexy washed and kingly. Definitely shaggable.

Legolas so cool as to give me fits. Still the prettiest, but also now the coolest. Also v. funny with counting of his dead enemies. Would shag him senseless after battle if were resident of Minas Tirith. Am v. jealous of residents of Minas Tirith.

Think am now in love also with tiny hobbit. Mothering instinct? Perhaps would not shag so much as cradle in arms and kiss tiny forehead. Must see film again to test this. Wonder if so v. pretty, always-washed Legolas would be jealous.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I saw it!

Finally!

I saw The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King!

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Now I have to go see it again.

Especially the part with Legolas and the oliphaunt. (hee!)

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Oh, yum

We brined the turkey this Christmas, then grilled it on a Weber gas grill on the front porch using mesquite chips to smoke it, too. It was sooooooo good. It was the first turkey I've eaten where the white meat was even more flavorful than the dark. It was so tender, so juicy-sweeeeet. Nice turkeyes. Yesss.

We told Mom she has to use that special holiday brining stuff for every turkey from now on. Apple juice and oranges and ginger and garlic and kosher salt and I don't know what else. Some bay leaves. Cloves. Stuff. Anyway, it was good. I ate more turkey than anything else, even the stuffing, which was better than ever since Dad decided to change the age-old, tried-and-true recipe and stick apples and chestnuts into the stuffing. And it was good. But we ate so much turkey, collectively, that we stuffed ourselves too full to eat stuffing, which is usually the first thing to go (followed closely by the cranberry sauce, as we are good Northeasterners and use real cranberries not that horrible crap in a can).

I want to have turkey for breakfast. Or maybe second breakfast.

-*- M E R R Y -*- C H R I S T M A S -*-

Stash!

Didn't get a lot this Christmas, but I got what I wanted.

• From friend C---, who's been working in Hong Kong:
  small backpack-type terrycloth bag with smiling Catbus face and tiny dustmote
  Totoro phone mascot tassle with two of the small totoros, the catbus and a mushroom, attached to a opaque, soft plastic leaf
  SUPERCUTE! will post picture of bag on fotoblog when the server there is running better



• From my eldest sister in France (along with her new husband and my eldest nephew):
  The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Platinum Series Special Extended Edition Collector's Gift Set



• From my elder sister, her husband of, like, 20 years, and my other two nephews:
  super-comfy and very pretty blue-green p.j.s/loungewear from Eddie Bauer



• From Mom and Dad:
  an Xbox and Dance Dance Revolution Ultramix and mat

Actually, I wanted a PS2, but Mom insists the Xbox version is the best version of DDR according to "experts" with whom she spoke. She was so pissed when I looked disappointed that it wasn't PS2 that there's no way I can ask her to return it for a PS2. Anyway, I've heard Xbox is moving away from the violence-and-nigh-porn market to video games normal human beings would be willing to play (plus, the Buffy game is for Xbox only, isn't it).

The P.J.s are really pretty and make me very happy as I very much wanted new ones in which to lounge about the house.

LotR diary

Discovered that delicious smoothies fat with carbohydrates. Decided to stick with sliver-of-fudge diet, as can obtain protein from walnuts in fudge. Except for today, when will forego all food except for large Christmas dinner, when will eat only turkey breast meat w/o fatty gravy.

Am thrilled that lovely sister has given special gift box of Two Towers. Huzzah! Can watch extra time of Legolas, who is still the prettiest, even though tiny hobbits v. cute indeed when find stash of apples and "weed".

Still have not seen Return of the King.

LotR diary

Have spent entire day with paper and ribbons. Am disgusted with whole wrapping-of-gifts tradition. Refuse to ever touch paper again, even if as pretty as the paper I saw at shop weekend last.

Still have not seen Return of the King. Am going through elf withdrawl. Am inseperable from Legolas doll. Still upset. Where is beautious elf? Where is sweaty yet attractive future king? Even beginning to fancy tiny hobbits with large, innocent eyes. Must go to shop and find Pippin doll. Am becoming pervy hobbit fancier?!

LotR diary

Am no longer going to make large pig of self. Start mornings with half grapefruit, then delicious smoothie for lunch and dinner. Will be gloriously thin for new year. Go me! Will, naturally, start this as soon as fudge is gone. Tiny bits of fudge will take place of lunch and dinner calories. Shall be v. thin after running off all icky fat. (New trainers for Christmas?)

This dieting and running shall distract me from my complete inability to get to theater to drool at Legolas and Aragorn in v. nice new armour thing with pretty silver tree. Am still v. worried about tiny hobbits.

Still have not seen Return of the King.

LotR diary

Watched first two LotR's on telly. Still v. good indeed. Got weepy when Gandalf fell into doom and shadow, though knew all actually fine and bleachy. Silly me.

Poor hobbits.

Legolas still the prettiest.

Still have not seen Return of the King.

Observations

French toast made with next-day french bread (i.e., stale) is the best. It's, like, in bite-sized pieces. Almost. Next-day french bread soaks up the egg and milk mixture very, very well without losing consistency. When it's done, the inside is like bread custard. I like my slices of french toast extra eggy. It also tastes better if you put a bit of cinnamon (just a bit) into the egg-milk mixture. Not enough that it'd be obnoxious with the maple syrup, but just a bit to make the soaked slices spotty before you put them on the grill.

Waking up with a bloody nose every morning is not fun. Except for blowing bloody snot and boogers into that first tissue. For some reason, that's kind of neat. The headaches which follow are not.

Cats make excellent feet and leg warmers when you are sitting or lying down. Only as long as they're willing to stay still. Otherwise, they can be annoying and must be replaced with a pillow.

Getting up before dawn and watching the sun rise ain't what it's cracked up to be. Sunsets are more dramatic and generally use the same palate as a sunrise, only with more color.

Finishing all of your Christmas shopping by mid-December makes that last week before Christmas kind of boring. Also, eveyone else who is still doing that last-minute shopping will hate you, though they'll refuse to admit it, as hating the well-prepared doesn't seem very much in the spirit of the season.

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring and Lord of the Ring: The Two Towers both stand up to repeat viewings on a cable network over a weekend. Thank you, Starz! network.

LotR diary

Soaked until pruney, then ate entire half-packet of holiday cookies (baked). Am v. great pig. Christmas tree now all covered in lights. V. pretty and festive. Huzzah for holidays. Will go make some nog.

Still have not seen Return of the King. Am becoming v. frustrated, as even tiny nephews have seen. Will go eat holiday chocolates out of silver guest bowl until feeling better.

GRR!!

I decided this year that, instead of making ET distribute Christmas presents for me, I'd send folks stuff from their Amazon.com wish list. This way they'd get something they wanted and it'd get shipped directly to them.

Except for Sam, la dame de sam {grrrl} d'abolico. The package was returned by USPS as UNDELIVERABLE. God only knows why.

Sorry, Sam. I tried to send you a book, but it was refused. Happy Christmas, anyway.

Importance?

For some reason, in the forty minutes since I posted that last post on Importance and Rank, I've dropped in the Google Importance Ranking System from 3/10 back to 2/10. How disappointing.

LotR diary

Still have not seen Return of the King. Am unusually anxious. Think will take a bath even though out of strawberry bubbles, as bath can be v. relaxing. Will use Legolas doll as bath toy. Battle of Bath Tub Deep.

nudge nudge purr purr

The semester is over. My last exam was Thursday (I think I probably got a B on it). I will now commence sleeping for many, many hours, alternating with the reading of nonessential books. And the critique of Halifax's new novel, though I'm not sure if I'm smart enough to do that. (It looks like a smart-person book.) Mostly, though, I will spend my time making my cats happy by letting them sit in my lap and petting their fuzzy heads. Right now, Floof is circling in my lap, pushing her persian rug forehead against my arms as I type, which makes it difficult to type. Oh, now she's settled down, but she's leaning against my right arm and frowning at me with her ears, which makes it difficult to type. Oops, now she's up again, angry that my arms keep moving.

nudge
nudge
circle
fwap with tail
nudge
sniff
step on arm
sniff
circle
fwap
sniff
nudge
settle
nudge
lean

I'd better go.

Importance!

My official Google importance rating has moved from 2/10 to 3/10! Woo! Thank you, Dear Readers! sniffle I feel so special.

LotR diary

Still have not seen Return of the King. Went to City, saw lots of theaters showing it, but couldn't find street parking. Companion too cheap to park in garage. Grr! Am feeling v. pouty. Will go eat chocolate mint bark stuff bought at mall, then sleep.

-*- H A P P Y -*- H A N N U K A H -*-

I did not know that

Word of the Day for December 6 was:

shibboleth • \SHIH-buh-luth\ • noun
1 a : a catchword or slogan used by members of a group but regarded by others as empty of real meaning b : a commonly held belief
2 : a behavior or use of language that identifies a person as belonging to a group

Example sentence:
Alice urged voters to ignore the political shibboleths put forth by her opponent.

Did you know?
The Bible's Book of Judges (12:4-6) tells the story of the Ephraimites, who, after they were routed by the Gileadite army, tried to retreat by sneaking across a ford of the Jordan River that was held by their enemy. The Gileadites, wary of the ploy, asked every soldier who tried to cross if he was an Ephraimite. When the soldier said "no," he was asked to say "shibboleth" (which means "stream" in Hebrew). Gileadites pronounced the word "shibboleth," but Ephraimites said "sibboleth." Anyone who left out the initial "sh" was killed on the spot. When English speakers first borrowed "shibboleth," they used it to mean "test phrase," but it has acquired other meanings since that time.

LotR diary

Doll poked me in the eye. Eye now v. sore. Stupid doll.

Still have not seen Return of the King.

LotR diary

Have not seen Return of the King. Have Legolas doll, though. Will go play, then take nap. Beauty sleep. Perhaps Legolas doll would make good teddy bear?

There's a reason why I didn't know this word before today

...and that's because I completely lack this power.

duende • \doo-EN-day\ • noun
: the power to attract through personal magnetism and charm

Stress and exhaustion can be fun

Somehow, I have caught a cold. Head cold. I'm all stuffed up. No coughing. No flu. Just head aches and a stuffed nose. Almost like allergies, but not quite.

I am sick because I am stressed out and overtired. Overtired as opposed to regular tired, which is what I was the rest of the semester. Overtired means I could sleep all weekend long and still be tired. I require sleep muchly.

I am stressed out and overtired because this is finals week. My last final is tomorrow. Japanese. I got a 98 out of 100 on the listening final. This is very good indeed, but I will still have to do well on the written final in order to pull off the A I so desperately need. Japanese is a five-credit course, so any grade I get in it is weighted heavier than the grades I would get in a regular course. An A would pull up my sad, sad average nicely.

I should have been studying this afternoon after the official study session with Kaya-sensee, but I was too damned tired to do anything but watch my soap (I was right about the story arch of one character, but it looks like Mom's right about another, more important story arch, which means she's still ahead of me in the game). Then I took a nap. Now it's time for me to make dinner (in spite of my needing to study and being sick, as my mother wouldn't cook if her life depended upon it, at least, not anymore). Here's hoping I'll still have enough time to get my vocabulary down before the exam at 1:00 tomorrow.

Still and all, it's better to be stressed and overtired because of finals week than it is to be stressed and tired because of the crap-ass job I used to have. Big ol' :p at C--- (the company, not the very nice friend in Boston) and T---- P----. And a mocking "woo-ha!".

LotR diary

Have not seen Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. Am not upset, as there are many days left in week. Still have exam, anyway. Will go have nap, to be refreshed and perky for studying.

Observations

If you have rear-wheel drive, it's okay to drive in crappy weather so long as you have a well-engineered vehicle and are a good driver. Four-wheel drive means nothing if it's a crappy car driven by a crappy driver.

This skill, of driver and of engineers, will only go so far if the goddamned town won't send out a plow. There needs to be some attempt made at plowing/salting/sanding the roads if anyone is going to make it. This is especially important if the town has known of the snow storm for two days and known it would be a doozy. It will prevent accidents, as most people can't afford a well-engineered car and are shitty drivers.

Snow tires are a good idea, too. All-weather tires you've had for three years aren't.

Make sure you have something besides a mittened hand to clean out your tire wells if you're going to try and drive through unplowed roads during a snow storm and only have rear-wheel drive and old all-weather tires.

If you know it's going to snow that heavily, put on your boots, even if they're kinda ugly and you're going to Burburry's. The warm, furry clogs will not do, even if they have treads and thick soles which will generally keep your feet above snow. This is because you never know when you might have to get out of the car and push. In fact, you will probably have to get out of the car and push if you're driving to and from Vermont and there is a big snow storm expected and the towns don't bother to do anything about the roads and the car is a rear-wheel drive with worn all-weather tires. If you don't have the boots on, you will get snow all over your feet. You won't necessarily have better traction in the snow the tires are getting no purchase in, but it'll be better than the furry winter clogs. Still, furry winter clogs will keep your toes warmish, so be thankful for that much.

Bring gloves of some sort. Mittens borrowed from your mother will probably not fit.

If you have to drive a car with rear-wheel drive and worn all-weather tires, make sure it's a small car. You will have a chance of pushing the damned thing in that case, and it won't be too scary when you slip and fall while trying to push and the car starts sliding back toward you.

Wear a hat, as the snow will mat in your hair and make it clumpy. When you finally do get home, the clumpy snow hair will start to melt down your back. Your mother will be reminded of the days when you used to go sledding and feel nostalgic and act unusually mother-like, but you will be even colder and wetter than you were outside, pushing the car up a hill during a snow storm.

Take a hot bath immediately after you get home. This will help you not ache so much in the arms and back and legs when you get up the next morning to shovel the sidewalk and try to find the newspaper buried under the snow. You will not have searing hot stabbing pain all over your spine and you will be able to walk without looking like you're eighty-five years old and you will be able to lift the teapot without whimpering.

No matter how much you hurt and how much you had to work just to get home, you will still prefer snow to cold rain and you will still think the snow is beautiful while you shovel the sidewalk and your back barks pain! pain! pain! at you.

Evil bastard caught

I got up late, but just in time to hear my mom say, "Sugar Kat! Come here!" I figured there was something I did wrong (again), so I shuffled to the office and said, "What?" in an aggrieved tone, as I revert to about thirteen years of age when I'm around my mom. She was in her AOL account and watching a live internet news report from ABC.

"They caught him!" she said, waving her hand at me to get closer, not taking her eyes away from the streaming video.

"Who?"

"Saddam."

"Who?"

She gave me a dark, you-idiot look. "Saddam Hussein. They caught him."

Some general-type was giving a news conference and showing pictures of where Saddam had been hiding out when the U.S. Special Forces caught him. The irony of where he was compared to where he had been, and the fact that he could see his palaces from where he'd been hiding, was lost on no one, not even the general speaking.

My first thought was, They didn't catch Hitler, but they caught him.

My second thought was, How do we know this is the real deal? What if it's some sort of fake Saddam they're showing us to make America and the world think the invasion of Iraq wasn't a complete waste of time and money and lives, military and civilian?

Mom said they waited until they had DNA proof that it was Saddam.

I guess they used the DNA from his sons. Or something.

I wanted to listen to NPR, whose round-the-clock news coverage I trust. We had to get in the car, anyway, 'cause Mom wanted me to go with her to Manchester, Vermont, so I could try on a coat at one of the outlet stores there. We listened to the news on the way there, taking pictures of the moutains, hoping we'd make it there and back before the storm hit (no, we didn't). At a certain point when listening to the news coverage, I got goosebumps.

We did some good, I thought. We got rid of a horrible dictator and we caught him and now he'll have to face a court of law.

The goosebumps went away quickly after a little bit of thinking. There are still terrorist cells which have entered Iraq with the increasing lack of law and order since our invasion. They won't go away any time soon.

There will still be Ba'athist resistence, though that may die down after some months more.

There is still no real law and order there, and we don't seem to be bothered to set up any. We didn't bother to get UN support before we went, so I don't think we'll get them to come in any time soon to install UN police forces. (Our guys are military, not police. They are not trained to be police and they shouldn't have to be. Half the problems we have over there are because we're making our military forces play a role they were never trained for. It's not easy to police an area. You need special training and someone to police the police forces in case there's any abuse of power. Ask the NYPD.)

We're pulling out too soon, long before we can guarantee a settled, established native government. We've started this mess, we're responsible. It would be increadibly irresponsible of us to bail out before we've helped the Iraqi people finish the job. We're their government right now, we're responsible for them. They're our colony until we establish a viable Iraqi government. If we don't stay and finish the job properly, take the responsibility our invasion of that nation has given us, there will probably be some sort of civil war followed by a coup which will establish a government not unlike the Taliban (which has been sneaking back into power in Afghanistan since we started ignoring the mess we made there to go make a mess of Iraq).

It's terrifically depressing to think of my classmates getting blown up for no reason.

But they aren't. Saddam has fallen from power. He's been caught. He and his family will never hold sway over Iraq again. They'll never have civilians tortured and murdered. They won't make any more mass graves. They won't be able to reroute a river to destroy a culture as ancient as civilization itself and destroy one of the most fertile lands in the region. Saddam will face some sort of court of law (hopefully an international court of law, like the Nazis had to face, with lots of Iraqis involved). He will be penalized (I think life in prison, for someone who'd held such absolute power and had had anything he desired brought to him, would be exquisite torture for the evil bastard--the death penalty is too easy on him, as he can only die once and he deserves a lot more than one death). Our military forces have accomplished that much, at least. Thank goodness.

Yeah, that's about right

I went to see The Matrix Revolutions with my dad and brother the day after Thanksgiving. Not because I was all psyched to see it, but because I'd seen The Matrix and, unfortunately, The Matrix Reloaded and wanted to see how the finished the story. It was...okay. I'm more angry with books and shows and films which show great potential and don't live up to it than those that suck outright. The Matrix series had great potential. ...sigh...

Anyway, I'm a fan of Ebert's reviews. He's one of the very few whose opinion I trust, and I like his style (especially when he hates something). I read his review of The Matrix Revolutions, to which he gave three stars out of four. An impressive result for a disappointing film, but I agreed with it for the reasons he gave in the review.

Thought I'd share this:

Still, in a basic and undeniable sense, this is a good movie, and fans who have earned their credit hours with the first two will want to see this one and graduate. To the degree that I was able to put aside my questions, forget logic, disregard continuity problems and immerse myself in the moment, 'The Matrix Revolutions' is a terrific action achievement. Andy and Larry Wachowski have concluded their trilogy with all barrels blazing. Their final apocalypse in the bowels of the Earth plays like 'Metropolis' on steroids. There are sights here to stir the sense of wonder, and a marriage between live action and special effects that is about as good as these things get in the movies.

[...]

Note: 'The Matrix Reloaded' was notable for the number of key characters who are black; this time, what we notice is how many strong women there are. Two women operate a bazooka team, Niobe flies the ship, the women have muscles, they kick ass, and this isn't your grandmother's Second Sex anymore.

Yeah, that was an especially cool part of the series, the casual way in while multiracial cast and strong females were used. Black, brown, and white (no yellow or red that I saw) people working together with no big fuss, women kicking ass and getting respect for it but no big fuss made about their being female while doing it.

So, you see, the film didn't suck outright. It was just disappointing. Read the link to Ebert's review and understand. I don't see why I should repeat what he wrote in stating my opinion, especially since he's a much better writer. ;)

Post

This is a post. I am posting. Ta da. There is nothing going on in my life except for the usual stupidity of self, mother, the drunken bastardry of my fellow students, and finals.

I turned in a short story today that I think might not have sucked as much as I originally thought. Volunteers to read? I wrote it in an afternoon (after thinking about it for three weeks). You can tell me it sucks, as I'm pretty sure it does, but not positive, which is why I need a volunteer reader. (Not you, ET, I know.)

I also took the listening component of the final in Japanese. I think I may have gotten two questions partially wrong, but other than that, I should be fine. As in, pretty durned close to A in spite of my inability to remember the gosh darn adjectives from Chapter 2. My Japanese teacher is super-cute in that she seems like she would have been a great anime character when she was a junior high school student (average age of most anime females). She's strict but fair and very funny. I want to do well for myself and my GPA, but mostly I want to make her proud. She's that kind of teacher. I'm glad I got into her 102 class next semester.

I'm not going to say a damned thing about baseball winter moves. Except grr. Grrrr!

I'm dragging my ass about getting presents out and cards out and stuff. I went a little crazy for Christmas this year. I really like this whole buying presents thing. Except for the credit card bill. That part sucks. Other than that, the joy of giving is helping Christmas outpace Halloween as my favorite holiday (mostly 'cause I haven't been able to wear a costume or go to a party in years, which makes Halloween actually kinda boring, outside of the half-price chocolate the next day, which is accompanied by massive guilt of the chocolate binger).

I've come to the conclusion I will never, ever go on another date in my life. This is not because I think all men suck, 'cause not all men suck, that's a stupid thing for anyone to think. It is because I am Sugar Kat the Un****able. I'm going to crawl under a rock after I'm done posting this.

I'm probably failing my second-favorite class (Japanese being my favorite) this semester because the syllabus says I have to turn in every assigned, um, assignment if I don't want to get an F (technically an E as they don't give F's here due to some undue affection for the alphabet). This sucks, as I know my efforts otherwise have been stellar. (You know me. I'd never boast about something like that. I really have worked my big white ass off for that class.) There's always some assignment in a class I don't turn in due to all of my efforts to complete said assignment sucking ass. Worst part is I'm taking a course with the same professor next semester and I'm convinced she now hates me. Intellectually I know that's not true. I'm just a student in her class. What does she care that she has to hand out an F (E). Makes her look like a tough grader, right? Still, my inner six-year old is absolutely sure she hates me. Hate, hate, hate. This is depressing, as I really like the prof. She's funny and super-well-rounded, especially for an English prof. And she is a SF/F dork and a big Yankees fan. She's cool! Wah! She hates me! Wah!

My constantly changing prescription is whacking out my body and mind. I'm in a terrible chemically-induced funk which makes doing anything nigh-impossible (like the Tick, except he was nigh-invulnerable). I am countering this funk by reading books I shouldn't be reading as I've assigned reading to do and really don't have time for the unassigned reading. Read Orson Scott Card's Shadow Puppets, which was okay, not thrilling, as there wasn't enough maniacal Peter and Bean was a little too whiny (I liked the Caliph stuff, though). This is aggravating my situation, as I am now getting my lazy arse in trouble for not doing the work I need to do because I'm reading unassigned reading. It'll be good to get to the holidays, when I can read all the unassigned reading I want to.

Other problem, though, is I am suffering from constant puking and low-level fevers and gastrointestinal issues and migraines and fatigue beyond any I've experienced and so on. This is also getting in the way of my getting my work done. How? Well, for instance, I'm too busy puking to write up the answers to the assigned questions for a particular project. Or I'm too dizzy from fever to do anything by lie down and close my eyes so I can't write up my journal response to the assigned reading.

I want this biochemical trouble to go away before it fucks up a third semester. Dammit.

I'm gonna go watch Angel now.

Cool!

I read this in yesterday's Times and kept bouncing in my seat with excitement. I wound up reading it out loud to my mom, as I thought it was too cool an idea not to share immediately. Space ports! Whee! That much closer to SF-reality.

Anyway, I wanted you guys to read it, too. This is copyrighted to The New York Times. It won't be available for free through the link (below) for much longer, so I'm posting it on here. I may have to delete it soon, so read up.

Op-Ed Contributor
Fly Me to L 1
By BUZZ ALDRIN
Published: December 5, 2003
LOS ANGELES

For the last 24 hours, news reports have been soaring into orbit that President Bush and NASA are busy preparing their vision for the future of America's space program — and that this vision may involve sending astronauts back to the moon, and perhaps establishing some sort of permanent base there. I applaud the instinct, but I think that a moon shot alone seems more like reaching for past glory than striving for new triumphs.

Instead, I think the next step in our space program should be to create a floating launching pad for manned and unmanned missions to the Moon, Mars and beyond. This is not a task for the unfinished International Space Station, which is intended to be a floating laboratory rather than a bridge to the heavens.

A much more practical destination than the moon or the space station is a region of space called L 1, which is more than two-thirds of the way to the moon and is where the gravity fields between the Earth and Moon are in balance. Setting up a space port there would offer a highly stable platform from which spacecraft could head toward near-Earth asteroids, the lunar surface, the moons of Mars and wherever else mankind decides to travel.

Unlike the Moon and the International Space Station, which is in low-earth orbit, L 1 is not the site of strong gravitational pulls, meaning that spacecraft can leave there without using much energy. Thus L 1 would be the most sensible position for a base that would function as a test area and way-point for robotic flights as well as a support station and safe haven for human exploration of the solar system.

It would also be relatively cheap, at least in terms of space travel. To create a port at L 1 we can use the building methods that have already proved successful for Skylab and the International Space Station — and we can probably get it up and running for $10 billion to $15 billion, significantly less than the International Space Station, which will likely exceed $100 billion in the end. We can also save money by shifting away from using the space shuttle as the transport vehicle and by developing a new, more flexible launch vehicle and crew module to get people and cargo up to the L 1 port.

Unfortunately, NASA's work on future vehicles — including the much-ballyhooed "orbital space plane" — has stalled since the disaster with the Shuttle Columbia. And even before then, the agency had been focusing on the wrong sort of craft: one limited to transporting four astronauts at a time with little or no cargo-carrying capability. Such a craft would essentially be duplicating what the Russian Soyuz craft already does adequately: bringing several astronauts up and back from a space station, but little else. Moreover, NASA's "Supersized Soyuz" approach focuses only on serving the International Space Station, rather than working toward a more expansive vision.

There are better ways to invest our money in a new craft. One that would be relatively quick and easy would be to keep what works in the current space transportation system — the rocket boosters, external tank and trained staff — and combine them with new elements. The tanks and boosters we now use will soon be predictable and safe, as a part of NASA's post-Columbia efforts. And if we stick with them, no new buildings or untested ground-transportation methods would need to be built.

The big change would be to replace the aging shuttle orbiter with a new crew module that would hold perhaps eight or more astronauts, and build a so-called heavy-lift vehicle, capable of carrying cargo, that would attach behind the module. This craft would be capable of variable crew and cargo configurations. The crew module would need built-in escape and rescue capabilities for the people aboard. The early version might have to make parachute or parafoil landings in the ocean, although eventually it should be modified to make runway landings.

Over time, more powerful engines and reusable rocket boosters could be added to make possible sending even larger payloads and more passengers into space at a lower cost per person and per pound. But the important thing for the president to think about at this point is the long-term future of space flight and for NASA to pursue all avenues, big and small, to come up with the best plan.

Unfortunately, NASA has limited its $135 million orbital space plane development contracts to a few giants: proposals by Boeing, Lockheed Martin and Northrop Grumman. As a result, the space agency has shut the door on the smaller, entrepreneurial companies that are responsible for some of the most innovative current thinking on space technology. The farther reaching scope of an L 1 effort calls for collaboration and competition — two qualities that should be part of the cultural change NASA pledged to undertake after loss of the Columbia.

In addition, NASA might even look at a new competitor as a possible partner. The modernized, Soyuz-like manned capsule that China sent into orbit in October is potentially safer and seems technologically more robust than the Russian version. Working jointly with China would not only fill a needed gap when America's agreement with Russia on using Soyuz runs out in 2006, but it would also make a potentially important political alliance. China and America are on the verge of a new space race — with economic competition expected from Japan, Europe and perhaps India — and it is better to start off with cooperation than with confrontation.

The tragedy of the Columbia, combined with China's successful launch, have put NASA at a crossroads. America's continued leadership in space depends on decisions made now. President Bush should realize that the first step is a bold new vision from the top.


Buzz Aldrin, an astronaut on the Apollo XI moon mission, is chairman of Starcraft Boosters, which develops reusable booster rockets for spacecraft.

Copyright 2003 The New York Times Company

Another fun word

Can you tell I'm too busy to actually write a post? La, la, la. End of the semester blues. If I could, I'd post the pictures of what my brother has done to his Muppets finger puppets, but I don't have the server space on my blog and they're...kinda evil.

Here's another enjoyable word from the English language, courtesy of Merriam-Webster.

The Word of the Day for December 2 is:

bathetic \buh-THEH-tik\ adjective
1 : extremely commonplace or trite
2 : characterized by insincere or overdone pathos :
excessively sentimental