Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain...and most fools do.
- Benjamin Franklin

i'm in gryffindor!

Sunday, July 27, 2003

Movies What I've Seen

This list may not be complete. My memory has been severely muddled by chemicals my doctor's been giving me. Stoopid doctor. Anyway, here are the movies what I've seen this summer.

  • X2: X-Men United
    Fun! Nightcrawler! Kitty! Colossus! Phoenix! Whee!
  • The Matrix Reloaded
    Not half as fun as the original. I'm rooting for the machines to wipe out stoopid ravers of Zion in the next film. Just like Star Wars, will still go see third installment in spite of moderately high suck factor of second, though I must admit SWII reached levels of suckness Matrix II could not hope to achieve.
  • Bend It Like Beckham
    Fun! Makes soccer interesting, which I'd previously thought impossible. Likeable characters, good performances, good script. Infinitely better than My Big Fat Whiny Greek Wedding to which, for no discernable reason, this film in compared. Also, must! Have! Soundtrack!
  • Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
    Go see this movie! Go! Now! Get off the computer and get your butt to a movie theater! Most fun movie I've seen all summer. Huzzah for Captain Jack Sparrow, best pirate I've ever seen! (I'm actually hoping for a sequel.)
  • Finding Nemo
    Gorgeous, hilarious. Ellen Degeneres and Pixar created bestest character in forgetful Dory. Deservedly a shoo-in for Best Animated Feature.
  • Johnny English
    Oh, the things I'll do for my nephew. The pain! Make it stop! Make it stop!
  • The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
    I absolutely refuse to call it LXG.
    Did not suck even half as much as I expected it to. Actually had a great deal of fun after purposely shutting off upper-level brain functions as per Summer Movie Viewing Agreement signed with motion picture studios as child. Would recommend you read the comic instead, as my nephew now desires.
    little trooper sugar kat trivia!: second movie I've seen this summer which had a character named Nemo in it.

  • Seabiscuit
    Very sincere film, a la Ken Burns, but fictionalizing a lot of history instead of being as accurate as humanly possible. They try very hard, but miss out on serveral opportunities to make a much more enjoyable film in ignoring the extreme lengths to which Smith goes to be taciturn, the foul-mouthed humor of Pollard, and in failing to give Seabiscuit any personality, of which he had loads in the book (Go 'Biscuit!). Tobey Maguire does fine job as Pollard, in spite of looking nothing like him and not getting much help from the script. Chris Cooper again loses himself in a role, this time in trainer Tom Smith who has far too many lines, except when he should but inexplicably disappears from the story. Beautifully filmed, merely adequately scripted (shame, since there were many ready-made lines in the book). I would recommend you read the book instead, especially since they did not put in 1) the Tijuana prostitute who can smoke cigarattes with her cunt, 2) the "mighty shit Godzilla," and 3) the scripted radio interview which Pollard fouled up. At the very least, read the book before you see the movie so you have a better idea of what's going on.


Movies I Still Have Yet To See include Spellbound (2002), Capturing The Friedmans, Whale Rider (another movie out of New Zealand!), and Winged Migration. I think that's pretty much it. Please bear in mind I live in the middle of nowhere, so the nifty foreign and independent films you guys get in the Big City, like, never get up here. sigh

Movies I'll Probably See On Cable include Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (the first sucked and this probably sucks too, but, hey, I said cable, not rental), Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (the first one was silly fun, and I kind of wanted to see this one, but not enough to pay for it myself), and 28 Days Later, which looked really good. May have to rent the latter two as only have HBO and Showtime out of the many pay channels.

Movies I Think I'll Rent will be The Eye, which looked (ack! pun!) creepy and fun, A Mighty Wind, which I never got to see in the theater, darn it, and Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over, but only after seeing Spy Kids 2 (I liked the first one) and only if I get to watch it with 3-D glasses. 3-D glasses! Cheesy fun! Whee!