Sometimes, I ♥ Texasa break for humor

Found by Angry Rabbit:

Zombies descend upon Erwin Center - The Daily Texan - Top Stories

Thursday outside the Frank Erwin Center, a horde of zombies attacked the 'American Idol' auditions. No one was hurt.

The zombies, 15 fake-bloodied actors in all, lurched out from under the IH-35 overpass and shuffled toward the Erwin Center, where they encountered the pop-star hopefuls.

Most of the 100 or so young people gathered outside had just been rejected by the 'American Idol' review board, and they were talking, singing and waiting for rides home when the zombies arrived. 'Braaaaaaains!' the zombies said. Nick Muntean, a UT radio-television-film graduate student who organized and participated in the zombie horde, added, 'Television rots your braaaaaaains!'

There's even video of the incident, though, unfortunately, the talentless idiots the zombies attacked did not scurry away/die in fear, nor did they get mauled/have their skulls chewed open.

I generally have a strict no-cannibalism rule, with a subclause against zombies, but I think, in this case, zombies were a good idea. Unfortunately, the zombies pussied out, even to the point of signing release forms to allow themselves to be shown on the craptacular American Idol.

"We've turned into prostitutes for 'American Idol,'" Ferstenfeld said.

Damned straight.

One nice thing is the useful tip on how to fake-zombify oneself by smearing the following on one's face to represent gore:

make-up, a gelatin mix, liquid latex and fake blood made from corn syrup, chocolate syrup and food coloring

My favorite quote in the entire article:

Zombies are not real.

This is why I ♥ Texas: a portion of the population gathers, fake-zombifies itself, then "attacks" the dweebs at American Idol, while the paper needs to post a disclaimer in an article about zombies regarding the fictional nature of zombies just so the rest of the population won't become frightened and shoot the fuck out of any person walking in their front yard (um, actually, I think that's considered an acceptable hobby in some parts of Texas). That's just damned funny. Also, admittedly, the disclaimer would be necessary in most if not all of the rest of the country. That's also funny, but a sad funny.