Quote of the Day

Ted Allen: Carson, this cheese is made by nuns.
Carson Kressley: Stop it! picks up cheese Praise cheeses!

Huh?

related searches: • elf • dilbert comics

"What D&D Character Are You?"(this is all ET's fault)

I Am A: True Neutral Half-Elf Ranger Bard


Alignment:
True Neutral characters are very rare. They believe that balance is the most important thing, and will not side with any other force. They will do whatever is necessary to preserve that balance, even if it means switching allegiances suddenly.


Race:
Half-Elves are a cross between a human and an elf. They are smaller, like their elven ancestors, but have a much shorter lifespan. They are sometimes looked down upon as half-breeds, but this is rare. They have both the curious drive of humans and the patience of elves.


Primary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.


Secondary Class:
Bards are the entertainers. They sing, dance, and play instruments to make other people happy, and, frequently, make money. They also tend to dabble in magic a bit.


Deity:
Silvanus is the True Neutral god of nature. He is also known as the Patron of Druids. His followers believe in the perfect balance of nature, and believe that nature's bounty is preferable to any other 'civilizing' method. They wear leather or metallic scale mail, constructed of leaf-shaped scales. Silvanus's symbol is an oak leaf.


Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy of NeppyMan (e-mail)

"Sanctuary! Sanctuary!"...X-Kitty looking for X-Men to shed black and white fur on

"Four-eared German kitten seeking good home":

Six-month-old Lilly, born on a farm in the southern state of Bavaria, has an extra pair of slightly smaller, non-hearing ears just behind the normal two. Vets attribute the phenomenon to a gene mutation.

'We want to find Lilly the loving home she deserves. She is very kind and not a monster,' said an employee at a sanctuary caring for Lilly and her nine normal brothers and sisters.

This one's for you, Maggie.

Farewell, Monkeybomb

Photo evidence of now-removed, much-lamented monkeybomb.

Quote of the Day

Steven Brust on writing his latest book:

Writing is like a tree.

Well, actually, it isn't at all like a tree.

Bizarre idea of the week

Okay, so the week's only just started, but to my addled brain (got a nice, huge whack on the forehead yesterday ... you can stop laughing now) this, from the City of Angel newsletter, is one of the stranger ideas I've run across. Angel fans are an interesting bunch.

An idea was born and is growing on the discussion boards at
SaveAngel.org. Across the U.S., and picking up speed in the U.K.,
fans are contacting local Red Cross Centers to set up March 17th as
the Save Angel Blood Drive Day. A PDF postcard is available for you
to send to Garth Ancier or Jordan Levin of the WB letting them know
we gave blood for ANGEL. We recommend that you visit the site where
you can find listings of venues near your home; also it is very
important to SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT for giving blood if possible.
While walk-in's are always welcome, it is recommended that folks
make an appointment as otherwise you might have a wait. If you can
not find a location near you maybe you can start your own blood
drive in your area!

Nonsense

"FBI Looks Into Latest Jimmy Hoffa Claims"

The FBI will investigate a purported deathbed confession by a former Pennsylvania Teamster official that says he helped dispose of the body of Teamster boss Jimmy Hoffa.

The confession, said to have been written by Francis Sheeran before he died Dec. 14 in a nursing home near Philadelphia, says he flew to Pontiac the day Hoffa disappeared in 1975, picked up Hoffa's body from his killers and drove it to a trash incinerator in Hamtramck, where it was cremated. [...]

Obviously untrue, as we all know that Hoffa is hiding in Halifax's anus, guarded by timber wolves.

Dangers of online communication

Every once in a while, I run across some text written by someone else, online, which makes me think, What an asshole. I'm sure this happens lots to other people. La, la, la, you're reading along on a bulletin board and, BAM!, your only response can be Man, what a bitch or Christ, what a jackass. Still, it's not fair, as you don't really know what the person's tone of voice was or sometimes even the real personality of the person posting. Context is everything, and postings on the web are somewhat without context. Meaning, you might be reading what that poster wrote incorrectly. (Or maybe you are right, but.... Well, it's just not kosher to respond in kind. Flame wars are stupid.)

This is all obvious, I know, and stated much better elsewhere, but I needed to write it so I wouldn't write something stupid and incendiary like, "You're a humorless asshole," in response to this guy.... sigh

Spalding Gray is dead

There's probably no one outside of my family who would hear of this and go, "sigh Oh," like I did when Mom told me today that Spalding Gray's Body [was] Found:

"The body of actor and monologuist Spalding Gray has been recovered from New York's East River two months after he vanished."

I really enjoyed the Demme film of Gray's Cambodia monologue. While I can't quote directly from it (I'm not very good at that sort of thing), I have seen the film many times. It's one of those which I'd sit down and watch if I caught it in the middle while flipping through cable channels.

He's gone, most likely a suicide, and that means there'll be no more chances at new monologues as good as Cambodia was. No, I didn't know him, but this, and that his wife and kids had to go through the two months of waiting to hear what happened to him then identifying his corpse, makes me sad. Guess I'm just pathetic that way. How sad that he had to live up to that stupid and horrible cliché of the depressed and suicidal author/artist.

I wish I had money, then I'd buy this for someone

Friends With You Plush Character - Shoe Baca at KidRobot

Shoe Baca comes with 2 detachable kidneys. They are not to be surgically implanted into small children. Except those without kidneys.

It's funny, yet notor Thank the good Lord I've never lived in Florida and therefore can avoid being, vicariously, the butt of national joke

Pax Christi USA >> News >> Statements:
"Media Advisory:
International Election Monitors Set
to Come to Florida in November
"... Pax Christi USA, the national Catholic peace and justice movement, will announce its plan to bring election monitors from the international community to observe and monitor the November elections in Florida."

They're coming to monitor "the election ... in an attempt to make the democratic process transparent and free of ... controversy" in Florida. Florida is now, like, Rwanda, but with fewer machette-wielding, baby-carrying, fellow-mommy-hacking young women. We hope.

Point and laugh. Don't think too much about it. Just point and laugh.

From an AP report on SFGate.com

666 Appears on Some 'Passion' Tickets

Associated Press
Monday, March 1, 2004


ROME, Ga. -- Tickets at one movie theater screening Mel Gibson's 'The Passion of the Christ' are being deemed decidedly unholy.

The number 666, which many Christians recognize as the 'mark of the beast,' is appearing on movie tickets for Gibson's film at a Georgia theater, drawing complaints from some moviegoers.

The machine that prints tickets assigned the number 666 as a prefix on all the tickets for the film, said Gary Smith, owner of the Movies at Berry Square in northwest Georgia. The 666 begins a series of numbers that are listed below the name of the movie, the date, time and price.

'It's from our computer and it's absolutely a coincidence,' Smith said. 'It has nothing to do with the film company or any vendor. It's completely in our computer.'

In the Bible, the book of Revelation says 666 is the 'number of the beast,' usually interpreted as Satan or the Antichrist.

[...]

The movie, which opened Wednesday, is a bloody depiction of Christ's final hours and crucifixion.

In Rome, Georgia, no less. That's what you get for opening on Odin's Day.

Razza frazza Blogger

Two things:

One, I've no idea where this post I can see when I click links to posts I made in February came from. It's not anywhere where I can edit it or delete it. It's just magically there in the not-quite-archives. It's not even there when I look in my archives. It's very annoying.

Two, I can't show you this random post because the permalinks which I should be able to use don't work. Blogger gave me effed up code. Not knowing anything about coding in HTML, I can't fix it, so I'm stuck with permalinks on my postings which don't work, but just bring you to the month on the whole in which the post referred to is. Arg. Naturally, if I could fix it, I would, but I've no idea even how to start. Gak. Grr.

My head hurts.

gasp Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Sci Fi Wire reports:

"Universal Pictures has green-lighted Serenity a feature film to be based on the short-lived Joss Whedon television series Firefly"

Joss Whedon, apparently, is not only slated to write the script, but helm the production, which is set to begin in June. Looks like all of the show's original cast will be there, which makes me happy. Article says Universal's expecting to release the film in 2005 some time.

Finally, some good news for Herr Whedon.

Cross-Mutant Enemy Casting Alert

Adam Baldwin is set to come to Angel as Eve's replacement at Wolfram and Hart, Hamilton. Whee! Jayne's working for the Serior Partners!

Advice

Unless you are very good indeed in separating two languages in your mind, don't try to comment on a blog post and translate a script into Japanese at the same time. You'll wind up with shitty grammar like this. D'oh! (My sincere apologies, Mister TheComicMan.)

At least, I'm pretty sure it's shitty grammar. Oh, lord. Now I'm all confused.

On a good note, the script for my skit is coming out rather well, even if I'm still working on it at 12:35 in the morning.

Another joke for the (dorky) kids you know

Two vultures are not allowed to board their flight.
Why?
Because their carrion luggage was rejected.

This family-friendly joke brought to you by A Prarie Home Companion newsletter.

A message from Mr. Whedon

I am a dork, so I'm subscribed to a newsletter from the City of Angel website which is about, naturally, the show Angel. The following message from Joss Whedon was in my e-mail this week:

"Some of you may have heard the hilarious news. I thought this would be a good time to weigh in. to answer some obvious questions: No, we had no idea this was coming. Yes, we will finish out the season. No, I don't think the WB is doing the right thing. Yes, I'm grateful they did it early enough for my people to find other jobs.

Yes, my heart is breaking.

When Buffy ended, I was tapped out and ready to send it off. When Firefly got the axe, I went into a state of denial so huge it may very well cause a movie. But Angel... we really were starting to feel like we were on top, hitting our stride -- and then we strode right into the Pit of Snakes 'n' Lava. I'm so into these characters, these actors, the situations we're building... you wanna know how I feel? Watch the first act of "The Body."

As far as TV movies or whatever, I'm not thinking that far ahead. I actually hope my actors and writers are all too busy. We always planned this season finale to be a great capper to the season and the show in general. (And a great platform for a new season, of course.) We'll proceed ahead as planned.

I've never made mainstream TV very well. I like surprises, and TV isn't about surprises, unless the surprise is who gets voted off of something. I've been lucky to sneak this strange, strange show over the airwaves for as long as I have. I don't FEEL lucky, but I understand that I am.

Thanks all for your support, your community, and your perfectly sane devotion. It's meant a lot. I regret nothing (except the string of grisley murders in the 80's -- what was THAT all about?) Remember the words of the poet:

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the road less traveled by and they CANCELLED MY FRIKKIN' SHOW. I totally shoulda took the road that had all those people on it. Damn."

See you soon.

-j"

And here's the petition stuff the Citizens of Angel sent me:

http://www.petitiononline.com/ai5d0162/petition.html
(65088 at last count)

http://www.petitiononline.com/angels6/petition.html
(32750 at last count)

Yeah, I'm contradicting myself, but thousands of names and e-mail addresses on some petitions might help. Okay, so probably not, but I can't find any postcards up here. Smalbany sucks.

Little gold man for Captain Jack?

I'm all happy.

Hollywood observers are shocked that Johnny Depp walked away with the top prize at the Screen Actors Guild Awards at the weekend, and there's now a strong feeling in the film industry that he could well surprise everyone and take the home the best actor Oscar on Sunday.

The rest of the tiny article goes on to explain that Sean Penn was the favorite to win the Oscar before the SAG Awards were given, with Bill Murray in second running.

First off, Huzzah for Captain Jack! That movie was fabulous, but Johnny Depp's Captain Jack was the centerpiece of the film. If it had been anyone else in the role, I don't think that the film would have held up. As it was, it was one of the most enjoyable films of the past year. That's the difference his role made.

Secondly, I'm not so hot on Sean Penn. Not so much the personal foilbles, being that he's a violent arsehole, but that I can see his acting when he's acting. He never embodies a role. He always shows the seams of his performance, letting you know he's using his craft, rather than just bloody acting. Also, I'm sick and tired of people crediting dramatic roles over comedic. It's a butt-load harder to pull off a comedic role than it is to lament over the death of your fictional daughter. The Academy is perfectly happy with drama that goes over the top, but they get all snobby once they're confronted with comedy (or SF/F, for that matter).

Which leads me to Bill Murray. He's had the performance of his career in Lost In Translation. I've always enjoyed his performances, but this is the one I knew he had in him since Groundhog Day and even more so since Rushmore. My trouble is deciding between Murray and Depp, but I still lean towards Murray. I loved, loved, loved Depp, but Murray's performace was brilliant. I'd be happy with either winning. Just so long as it isn't the overrated Penn or anything from that gawdawful Cold Mountain.

Quick! Before Maggie moves!

From a mailer I get from RightStuf.com:

*** Enlightening Young Minds... With Manga! ***
Set to appear in children's museums around the country, "Jump to Japan" is an
exhibit that teaches Japanese and Asian culture through popular art. Among the
displays will be areas for anime and manga, featuring video and print media from
titles like Pokemon, Yugioh, Shaman King, Nausicaa - there are even plans for a
life-sized Cat Bus from Totoro!

At the moment, "Jump to Japan" is running at the Children's Museum at the Seattle
Center in Seattle, WA. If you're in the area, be sure to stop by with your junior
otaku! And for more information, visit the Children's Museum homepage.

I hope it comes to the Children's Museum in Philly. ... There is a children's museum in Philly, right?

... Cat Bus! There's gong to be a life-sized Cat Bus! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!