*twitch* *twitch*

from Fafblog!:

Florida has no parental notifaction laws. But it does have a Department of Children and Families, and thank God for that: it has successfully sued to prevent a pregnant 13-year-old ward of the state from having an abortion on the grounds that she's too immature to make the decision. Too immature to choose to have a child, but plenty old enough to risk physically bringing it to term, and to raise it in the squalor of state custody. Ah, the glorious mysteries of the culture of life!
? posted by Medium Lobster

FW: Ten First-Place Winners in the International Pun Contest

This is a forwarded e-mail from my dad. My family frequently speaks in puns. Sometimes we have entire dinner conversations in puns. They are rarely intentional, but unavoidable. Frequent pun-induced groaning at Thanksgiving. We're just wired oddly. The only two jokes I know are long story jokes which end in horrific puns. If you don't like puns, you should never accept a dinner invitation by my family.

Anyway, I now share the punning pain with you, Dear Reader.

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire on the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "I'm positive."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?", they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so --- thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the scurvy knave who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Update on AOL Bush performance polls

Total number of votes on the poll from yesterday (modified to include response to Bush's press conference) is up to nearly a quarter of a million. What's interesting is the change in percentages from the results last night.

How satisfied are you with what Bush said during his press conference?
Not at all 64%
Very 28%
Somewhat 8%

How would you rate Bush's overall job performance?
Poor 58%
Excellent 21%
Good 11%
Fair 9%

Total Votes: 244,783

The negative numbers are only slightly less than they were before (58% Poor down from 59%, 9% Fair down from 10%). The difference between Good and Excellent has spread, from 13/18 to 11/21, but they're still significantly smaller percentages than the negative (Good and Excellent combined still don't equal Poor, let alone Fair/Poor combined).

The numbers on policy-specific polls also remain relatively similar at nearly 150 thousand votes each poll, with the negative responses dropping by only one percentage point on Social Security "reform," Iraq, and the economy, and by four points on the energy plan.

So it doesn't matter if it's slightly under 60 thousand (or about 40 thousand on the policy polls) or nearly a quarter of a million votes (or about 150 thousand on policy polls). The usually conservative AOL poll respondants appear to be greatly displeased with Bush. And that's a very big change from just a few months ago.

All I can say is, you voted for him, folks. This crap is not my fault.

I should be writing that paper, but it's either blog or reread From Far Away vol. 1-3

Barbie as Batgirl with Motorcycle

This is the first time I've ever wanted a Barbie doll.

I'm so pathetic.

Relevant

And in this webcomic, White Ninja meets the King of the Octopuses.

w00t!

Apple - Trailers - Serenity - Large

The full screen won't work 'cause I can't download the software required.... Won't work with our version of Windows. Bleh.

Hey...was that Charlie Eppes?

Yeah! It is! It's Charlie Eppes, a thousand years in the future!

Holy crap!

Polls on AOL tend to lean towards the conservative in their results. (AOL is apparently the antithesis of LiveJournal, where many liberals lurk and share stories of meeting their favorite singers/actors/comedians in the most atrocious English/typing possible.) This is why I found the following results surprising:

How would you rate Bush's overall job performance?
Poor 59%
Excellent 18%
Good 13%
Fair 10%
Total Votes: 58,258

(No, I don't know how to make tables in HTML/this pansy-ass version of HTML Blogger has us using. I'm a coding idiot.)

A full 69% of the respondants rate the President's job performance fair to poor. Geh.

... Naturally, I just noticed the number. Am being juvinilish, which is o so stylish.

Crap. Tried not writing that, but I couldn't stop myself. Fudge.

Anyway, only 31% rate the guy positively. The vast majority of respondants replied to the question with a "he sucks!" This surprises me. We all know what I think of him and his administration. I just wasn't expecting that many other people to respond the same way.

Then there were these more policy-specific polls.

Do you understand Bush's Social Security plan?
Yes 68%
No 32%
Do you support it?
No 75%
Yes 25%
Total Votes: 40,358


Do you understand Bush's energy plan?
Yes 60%
No 40%
Do you support it?
No 74%
Yes 26%
Total Votes: 39,825


Do you approve of Bush's handling of Iraq?
No 71%
Yes 29%
Do you approve of Bush's handling of the economy?
No 75%
Yes 25%
Total Votes: 41,170

Again, heavily against Bush's performance, averaging out to just under 75% on overall support ratings.

What's rather stupid is the difference between the approval ratings and the percent who understand the policies. Don't you have to have an understanding of the policy in order to have an opinion on it? What the hell is going on with the jump, of fourteen points in one case, from number who understand to number who disapprove? How can you say you disagree if you don't know what the hell the conversation is about? I can understand if you find a particular plan or policy confusing, but if you really don't understand it, you shouldn't be responding that you don't like it.

This coming from a person who sides against almost everything this particular President has done. (The "almost" from my not being entirely sure there wasn't an instance, here or there, where I might have found myself agreeing with him.)

Not that these polls mean jack shit, as it's completely unscientific, and I could easily go to seven different terminals, select "Poor" for that first poll, and have an affect on the results. Still, the results of AOL polls like these were much different a few months ago.

From my dad - Fwd: A message from Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton

Thank you for writing to me about one of the most important issues currently facing our nation, and that is the effort by some members of the United States Senate to violate rules of this august body in order to end filibusters against judicial nominations, an effort that has become known as the "nuclear option." This term appropriately describes what some of my colleagues are attempting to do because if they were to be successful in this effort, it would mark the first time in the history of the United States that the Senate changed its internal rules of governance without following its own rules and procedures for amending those internal rules of governance. In short, some senators are not just trying to change the rules but are seeking to violate an important rule that they do not like in order to prevent a substantial minority of Senators from being able to participate in any meaningful way in the consideration of federal judicial nominations. Through an exercise of sheer power, they are attempting to place themselves above the rules to which all Senators agreed to abide.

If invoked, the "nuclear option" would be, in my view, one of the most egregious abuses of powers that the Senate has experienced in its history. The rules are somewhat technical in terms of how they work but the bottom line is that the purpose of the filibuster and related rules is to ensure that no one political party has unfettered power over the other and over the millions of Americans that the substantial minority of Senators represent. Congress after Congress, decade after decade, Senators have agreed unanimously that to get rid of the filibuster would require a super-majority, not a simple majority, and that makes sense. Important Senate rules governing minority rights should not be able to be easily changed but should instead be changed only when there is very strong support, a super-majority, to do so. By resorting to the "nuclear option", violating these rules by requiring only a simple majority rather than super majority to get rid of the filibuster in judicial nominations, the majority seeks to turn the United States Senate into a rubber stamp for President Bush's extreme judicial nominees and force all Senators to abdicate our constitutional responsibility of advice and consent. As one sworn to uphold the Constitution, that is something that I cannot and will not do, and that is why I will continue to do all I can to fight for our democratic traditions. The Constitution, which is the foundation of our democracy, very clearly sets up what we call a balance of power. That is an important concept, which is critical to how successful we have been as a nation, even during the most turbulent of times.

Unfortunately, some members of the Senate majority want to undermine, rather than preserve, that balance. Because of the extreme positions taken by some of President Bush's judicial nominees, the majority is, understandably, unable to muster enough votes on these nominations. Instead of negotiating and looking to find common ground, they have simply decided to violate the rules to reach their desired outcome. Kids on playgrounds across America have a word for this kind of behavior: it is called "cheating," and it is wrong. No one should support this kind of arrogance of power, especially in a democracy.

Let me also underscore that as of today, the United States Senate has confirmed 205 of President Bush's judicial nominations, 100 of whom were confirmed during the relatively brief period of time that my party colleagues held the Senate majority. Indeed, at the end of the 108th Congress, we had the lowest vacancy rate on the federal courts in 14 years. Only 10 Bush nominees have been rejected, each because he or she failed to demonstrate a sufficient commitment to protecting the rights and freedoms of all Americans. Therefore, in contrast to claims made by some, the Senate minority members have not been "obstructionist." To the contrary, we have a strong record of confirming almost all of President Bush's judicial nominees. Indeed, just two weeks ago, I spoke on the Senate floor in strong support of the nomination of Paul Crotty, who was nominated to serve as a judge on the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York. This nomination was confirmed unanimously, not because every Senator believed that he or she would agree with all of Judge Crotty's rulings, but, I believe, because we each had faith that he would do his best to abide by the rule of law and uphold our Constitution.

Unfortunately, President Bush has nominated a few people to serve on our federal courts for life that I and many of my colleagues believe would not abide by the rule of law, which is why some of these nominees were not confirmed. Now, to stack the courts with these nominees and other extreme judges, the majority is attempting to violate long-established and agreed to Senate rules in order to do away with a constitutional check on the power of the President to pick any judicial nominees he pleases. This is wrong and inconsistent with American values. Rest assured that I will do all that I can to ensure that this does not happen.

Not enough of a cat

My sister forwarded this e-mail to me. My brother "confirmed" it at Urban Legends Reference Pages: Photo Gallery (Toner Mouse). It's supposed to be funny, but all I can think is, Oh my God, oh my God, that poor mouse, it's dead, oh that poor mouse. I'm a big softie. Obviously, I've not enough cat-ness to me to find this "LOL .. hilarious!" Perhaps you sick bastards do and will.

Seeking justice in Spain

Spain to try 9/11 terror suspects

Twenty-four people suspected of being part of the 11 September 2001 attacks on the US will go on trial in the Spanish capital, Madrid, on Friday.

Prosecutors want three of the men to receive a total of more than 60,000 years in jail - 25 for each victim.

Damn fuckin' straight. God bless the Spanish.

Well, I mean, how could I not blog about this?

Chinese Men Measure Up to Others Below the Belt

"Our conclusion is that Hong Kong people are no smaller than Western men, where their penises are concerned," said Chan Lung-wai, director of the Urology Center at the Union Hospital, who headed the study.

Naturally, I wonder if they included Japanese men in this study, and if they compared Chinese to Japanese and what the result was. Somehow, considering the current (and long-standing) international political environment, I don't think the results of that particular comparison would be unbiased, or at all favorable to the Japanese.

A group of scientists in Hong Kong spent five months from October last year measuring 148 ethnic Chinese volunteers aged between 23 and 93.

What a horrible, horrible job. Sure, there may be some slutty het girls or 'mo guys out there who'd say, "Woo! Feeling up male members all day! Sign me up, Chairman!" I would then have to remind those lil' 'hos that the range covered 23 (okay, fine) to 93 (oh my dear lord in heaven). Also, sex organs are ugly. And lord only knows where they've been sticking that thing. Ew.

Also, those readers who are of lesser experience who bothered to read the link now know what to expect when a guy takes his shorts off.

...Disappointing, isn't it?

[The study] found that a man's height bore no relation to the length of his member, but those with higher body mass indexes, or fat content, appeared to have shorter penises.

"It seems that as someone gets older and fatter, his blood vessels change, so the penile size is not static. It may be a reflection of the condition of the person's blood vessels," Chan said, adding that this could spur yet another study. [emphasis mine, 'cause, like, ew]

See, sluts? Not a pleasant job. Imagine the fet man's penis study, though. Or don't. Really, you don't need that image in your head, do you? Uch.

Still, how sad is that? Not only is Mister Fatty McFatbutt too physically gross (in both senses of the word) to attract females, but he can't even pleasure the self-hating ones who do decide to lower their standards and sleep with him. Also, we now know that the fat ones really haven't seen Mister Happy in years.

Because I'm so easily amused

Subject: URGENT ASSISTANCE.
From: "FROM MRS MONICA KABILA."
Date: Sun, April 4, 2004 10:48 am
Priority: Normal

Return-Path: monikabila1@simbamail.fm
Madam Monica Kabila.
Introduction.
My Dear,


PLEASE REPLY ME WITH THIS PRIVATE EMAIL monikabila1@simbamail.fm




It is my pleasure to contact you for a business venture which I and my Son
Mack,intend to establish in your country.




Though I have not met with you before but I believe,one has to risk confiding in
succeed sometimes in life.




There is this huge amount of Eigtheen million U.S dollar($18,000,000.00)which my
late Husband kept for us with a Security Company in Abidjan before he was
assasinated by unknown persons.



Now I and my son decided to invest these money in your country or anywhere safe
enough outside Africa for security and political reasons.



We want you to help us claim and retrieve these fund from the Fiduciary Security
Holders and transfer it into your personal account in yourcountry for investment
purposes on th ese areas:


1). Telecommunication


2). the transport industry


3). Five star hotel



If you can be of an assistance to us we will be pleased to offer you 10% Of the
total fund.



PLEASE REPLY ME WITH THIS PRIVATE EMAIL, You can as well reach my son mack with this
private number which is 008821655515306, monikabila1@simbamail.fm



I await your soonest response.


Respectfully yours,


Mrs. Monica Kabila.

And Halifax's eyes bleed

I'm a sucker for these things. If Halifax does, in fact, read The Very Secret Diary of M. T. Cicero and his head explodes or his eyes melt out of his head or something, could you let me know?

Pimp: the Backhanding card game (I shit you not)

Why didn't I hear of this sooner? Why did I have to find out about it from reading the notes accompanying an old "Something Positive" comic? Why is no one writing volumes of twisted, evil, and deeply humorous posts regarding White Wolf's Pimp: the Backhanding utilizing the character types from their other Noun: the Gerund games? C'mon, people! This is fucking hi-la-ri-ous!

Please help out, if you can

A friend of mine is trying to raise money for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. She's "required to raise a minimum of $1,800 to participate," but so far her donations are only up to $765. I thought I'd post here, in case someone might be willing to help out. I'm not asking you to donate lots, just what you can, if you can. (I, myself, am on my fiscal last legs, which are looking rather stumpy and infected right now....)

It's for a good cause and she's a great person. (She also is mommy to one of the cutest babies I've ever, ever seen.) Hope folks can help.

Cogito, Ergo Sumana for 2001 October

I was looking around for the lyrics to the Powdered Milk Biscuits song from Prairie Home Companion and ran across this in some Berkeleyite's four-year old weblog:

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Taliban. Er, Azkaban. But seriously, folks, Goblet of Fire, the most recent Harry Potter novel, certainly alludes to terrorism, albeit magical.

I think I gave that book back to Dan, but maybe I could skim some passages again at a bookstore or something. The Harry Potter books really do get more thought-provoking and morally complex as the series progresses. I'm looking forward to seeing J.K. Rowling's next work.

Makes me feel less stupid for reading the books. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only adult I know (not including family) who reads these books.

Happy Birthday, Mr. Andersen

Today's Hans Christian Andersen's 200th birthday.

Thanks for the Red Shoes, the New Clothes, and the Ugly Duckling.

Fatty Fat McFatbutt, American

Americans face drop in life expectancy - Some claim obesity will cut years off US lives by the 2050s.

As my mother said in her e-mail when she forwarded this to me, "Well, that'll take care of the Social Security deficit."

For the first time in recent history, researchers are predicting that the life expectancy of Americans may begin a sustained decline.

The forecast is based on the sharp rise in obesity in today's youth. By the middle of this century, the increased risk of diabetes, heart disease and cancer that they will face could lessen the average life expectancy by two to five years, some say.

In general, longevity predictions are determined by studying historical trends in death rates. Various agencies, such as the US Social Security Administration (SSA), have used this method to predict that the life expectancy of Americans will continue to rise over the next century.

But Jay Olshansky, a biodemographer at the University of Illinois at Chicago, argues that they ignore the effect of obesity on future generations.

My favorite part of this article is the picture of the fat kid with the spikey hair and red shirt staring with unsurpressed gleeful anticipation at something that looks like it has as many fat calories in it as his body has fat cells.

Wrap-around sunglasses for the pooch

I was clicking away, as I do when I'm avoiding things, when I came across Doggles.

I've a dear friend, like a sister to me, whom I've known since we were in high school. She is a lesbian living in Southern California who is getting to that point that some people who don't expect to have children of their own do of treating her dogs like her children. She sends pictures of them to friends, family, and acquaintances as often as Lieutenant Colonel Hughes shows of pictures of his little girl on FullMetal Alchemist.

I want to get her Doggles for her three dogs. I think that would kick ass. I think they'd crack her up, which she needs while trying to work her way through the evils of being a screenwriter in L.A.

... I need a job, damn it.

Mein Gott im Himmel

I don't know whether I'm laughing at the extreme geekiness of this item or squealing like an extreme geek. In any case, I think someone I know needs to have a Darth Vader Sprinkler. I don't know who. But someone needs to "[l]et the Dark Side defend [their] lawn from the ravages of summer heat or cool [them] off on a hot day with this Darth Vader sprinkler!"

Oh. Oh no. "Standing 10" tall, this great new Vader sprinkler spins around with water spraying action, wielding his lightsaber in a furious battle to save your lawn!" I laugh. I cry. I've no idea how to cope with something this...what? Geeky? Ridiculous? Star Warsy? I especially love this picture, where it looks like Vader's fighting with himself while playing in the sprinkler.

Squee!

It's here! The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy :: The Official Movie Website. Am ridiculously excited over it. Which is stupid, as I know I'll be disappointed, but...Marvin's voice by Alan Rickman! Stephen Fry as The Book! That's so froody! And...ooh! Is that John Malkovich?

Random kitten generator

At first I thought posting a link to this site would prevent Maggie from ever doing another thing again besides clicking on kittens, requiring some sort of intervention by a deeply concerned and loving Ryan by mid-May. Then I realized it's actually a recruitment site for Maggie's Kitten Army, as the examples below show:

See? So very obviously a promotional shot of one of Maggie's army kittens in training.


This must be a photo illustrating their paw-to-paw combat training process.

I find myself mesmirized.


Transcript from when Sugar Kat found said site:

KITTEN! EEEE!

*clickitty*

SO! CUTE!

*clickitty*

GAH! EVEN MORE WITH THE CUTENESS!

*passes out from cute and furry sensory overload*

Bad badness abounds!

You really need to go check out this book description and its reviews on Amazon.com. If you want, you can even "preview" this example of vanity-press publication, which was culled from some guy's collected works of online fiction. Then, after reading the preview, you, too, can post about how gawdawful it is. Join in the fun!

That having been said, these nori snacks my friend Mitsuki-chan brought up from the City with her and then generously supplied me with kick all kinds of salty-goodness ass. Yum!

To blog or not to blog

I'm not sure why I haven't deleted this thing already. I have that other place I write. Those of you who want to read it, let me know.

Anyway, Things are getting absolutely crazy with school, and I'm not entirely certain I'm graduating. I know I won't have a job to go to if/when I do, which makes me so nervous and unhappy, I can't actually permit myself to think about it or I get physically ill.

I distract myself with reading manga, thinking about television shows, typing away in the other place I write, and now messing with pictures to make icons and banners and such. Which is stupid. I should be working on back work. But I can't focus, as I start thinking about the future and get scared sick and have to go lie down. So I do a little bit of work, then go do things like write this entry in this blog.

I'm an adult. Why can't I act like one?

At any rate, this is my attempt to keep this blog updated. Let me know if I should continue, will you?

Ha ha ha, muthafukka!

PRESS RELEASE: Science Fiction Authors Hoax Vanity Publisher

Over a holiday weekend last year, some thirty-odd science fiction writers banged out a chapter or two apiece of "Atlanta Nights," a novel about hot times in Atlanta high society. Their objective: to write a deeply awful novel to submit to PublishAmerica, a self-described "traditional publisher" located in Frederick, Maryland.

The project began after PublishAmerica posted an attack on science fiction authors at one of its websites (http://www.authorsmarket.net/). PublishAmerica claimed "As a rule of thumb, the quality bar for sci-fi and fantasy is a lot lower than for all other fiction.... [Science fiction authors] have no clue about what it is to write real-life stories, and how to find them a home." It described them as "writers who erroneously believe that SciFi, because it is set in a distant future, does not require believable storylines, or that Fantasy, because it is set in conditions that have never existed, does not need believable every-day characters."

The writers wanted to see where PublishAmerica puts its own quality bar; if the publisher really is selective, as the company claims, or if it is a vanity press that will accept almost anything, as publishing professionals assert.

"Atlanta Nights" was completed, any sign of literary competence was blue-penciled, and the resulting manuscript was submitted.

PublishAmerica accepted it.

Oh, please, please read the rest. It is so, so damned funny. There's even a link to the shitty novel. So lovely.

All is vanity

The buffalo jumped over a steel panel during the Black Hills Stock Show & Rodeo on Sunday morning, went down an alley and got into the dressing room reserved for visiting sports teams, said Brian Maliske, the civic center's general manager.

[...]

The crew conducting the Black Hills Classic Buffalo Sale decided to keep the animal locked in the dressing room for the rest of the auction. During its two hour stay, it reportedly became fascinated with the image it saw in a big mirror.

TX Teens Increased Sex After Abstinence Program

Despite taking courses emphasizing abstinence-only themes, teenagers in 29 high schools became increasingly sexually active, mirroring the overall state trends, according to the study conducted by researchers at Texas A&M University.

"We didn't see any strong indications that these programs were having an impact in the direction desired," said Dr. Buzz Pruitt, who directed the study.

The study was delivered to the Texas Department of State Health Services, which commissioned it.

The federal government is expected to spend about $130 million to fund programs advocating abstinence in 2005, despite a lack of evidence that they work, Pruitt said.

Your tax dollars at work, folks. I'd be snigering if it weren't so damned pathetic.

Unreformed tort

take the WHAT INTENTIONAL TORT ARE YOU test


and go to mewing.net. because law school made laura do this.

Best of 2004, Movies

All the octopods are doing it. Were doing it. Are. Whatever. I'm not octopody enough (few if any of the octopuses know who the heck I am), so I can't post on the OctoBlog. Hence, I'm posting my opinion here.

I didn't see a lot of movies last year.

This is because I live with my mom and far away from decent theaters. Podunk living means you don't see too many films. Of the ones I've seen, here's how I'd order them:

Best
as in, will happily see ten thousand times more and gives me goosebumps just thinking about it

The Increadibles

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

I [heart] Huckabees

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
may have to see this one again to double-check on its status

There is no particular order to the films above, really. I'd say Increadibles and Sunshine share top spot.

Honorable Mention
liked a lot, but problematic or just not goosebumpy

Hellboy
boat-load of fun, unique vision, probably pissed off a lot of the comic's fans

Spiderman 2
while I enjoyed the heck out of it, I don't see picking this DVD out of the bunch whenever I'm in need of random moviness, like I do with Amélie or Lola Rennt; am pissed off by the obvious non-New Yorkness of the L-train, but get all soft and mushy at the thought of the scene where he's unmasked before the crowd

Sideways
great acting, great writing, mades me thirst for wine while in the theater, but did not blow me away; a nice, tight film

Kill Bill: Vol. 2
awesome, but I think I need to see the two films in a row to really appreciate them

Lemony Snickett's A Series of Unfortunate Events
the kids were great, the design was awesome, Carrey grated, solving one of the mysteries that early in series pissed me off

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
casting was AWFUL, scripting was leaden and left out huge chunks of necessary character developments/plot points, yet was the least disappointing of the three released so far and had more of the dark vibe of the books; nearly didn't make it on this portion of the list, and may be bumped down to the next section yet

Also saw
the also-rans of the list; I'm having trouble remembering all of these, so I may add more; please note that I didn't dislike any of these: they're just not good enough to merit placement on the lists above

Dodgeball

House of Flying Daggers
pretty pictures and cool effects do not make for a great film, but a nice one; disappointing, really; would not bother to watch again

Farenheit 9/11
yeah, i'm a liberal Democrat and card-carrying member of the ACLU, but even I can recognize ranting polemic when I see it; didn't hate it, but not in love with it; Moore's done better in the past

Shrek 2
it had Puss In Boots, whom I ADORE, and that's pretty much it

There are a bunch of films I want to see (Finding Neverland, The Long Engagement, Bad Education, The Aviator, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, Alfie, Ray, Mean Girls, Anchorman,...), but I'm not sure I'll ever get to see them, especially now that the semester has started. Crossing fingers.

Holy f-!

Seriously. Just look at the list of names attached to this offering by Slate. It's ka-razy.

The Year in Culture
Neil LaBute, Lemony Snicket, Kenneth Pollack, and others on 2004's most notable cultural happenings.

Johnny Carson, 1925-2005

Mom came over when I finished my reading assignment. "Johnny Carson is dead," she said. "No," I replied. "He can't die. Johnny Carson can't die."

Well, he did: AOL News - Late-Night Legend Dies at 79.

It's not like when I heard Jim Henson died. Henson was younger and had plans he was still working on. (I'm still pissed off about Henson dying.) Carson retired ages ago. I just thought...well, Carson was slightly immortal. He's been there all my life. It's not like losing a grandfather or uncle. I'm not crying. I'm just oddly surprised. Johnny Carson wasn't supposed to die.

I guess some part of me always figured he would come back to late night again and kick Jay Leno's butt in the ratings. But now he's gone, so he can't, not just won't, and I look around at his "replacements" and think, "They aren't."

Fucking wow

Directed to this article by Neil Gaiman.

So, not only is it the cutest car on the road, and the only car I'd be willing to spend money on (I've a free Honda from my sister right now), but it's super-safe: Mini Tale: Mini Meets Tree.

Nifty!

And now for comething completely different

This, however, is not a larch.


Sorry. It's been about two months since I've made a Monty Python reference. I was going to 'splode.

Gah! Holy shit! *points at e-mail*

So, Hal gave me the nickname I'm using for this blog, along with a little help from the Angry Rabbit, and I'm thinking, "I can use that on my blog." I mean, I've used it on gag postcards. Why not here, on the internet?

Right, Kat.

There was a four(?)-issue series called "Where's it at, Sugar Kat?" back in the late nineties by a fellow named Woodrow Phoenix and ...oh, crap. I just cannot find my box with the collection of comics in it. As opposed to the graphic novels, which I cleverly packed as books and have neatly arranged on my bookshelves. Anyway, I'd picked the first issue up because of the name and my nickname and then picked up the rest 'cause it was the funny and I identified with Sugar Kat's sister (oddly enough).

Now, years and years later, I get this e-mail:

Date:Sun, 16 Jan 2005 19:19:46 +0000
Subject:So, where IS it at?
From:'woodrow phoenix' <[snip for privacy's sake]> Add to Address Book
To: [snip]


Hello there.
I have spies everywhere but they are very slow at filing their reports. As co-creator of the WHERE'S IT AT, SUGAR KAT? book I was naturally intrigued when one of them told me about your blog. So far though, no evidence that you've ever read the comic book. So is your blog-du-plume [maybe that should be 'nom-du-blog'] merely coincidence...or SOMETHING MORE?


quizzically,

W P

Now I'm feeling all guilty, 'cause, like, dude, I've read the comics, but I had the nickname beforehand and thought there wouldn't be a problem. I didn't even remember the comic, to be honest, when I started up this account (and all of my other sugarkat-related accounts). Not that I didn't like it, but...it's my nickname.... *looks confused* Is there a problem? Now I have a problem, don't I? What do I doooooooooo? (wah!) *whimper*

Oh, this is the suck. All I need: another excuse to feel guilty. Like Mom doesn't help out on that enough already.

Plus, there's the weirdness of people I don't know reading my blog with the horror of someone whose work I've liked reading this P.O.S. blog. Oh, fuck fuck fuckity fuck-fuck. I'm embarrassed and guilty.

I need chocolate.

Should I be guilty? Crap. I hate it when I get angst-ridden!

We call bullshit

From The Rude Pundit

When the Rude Pundit was an adolescent, his father died. His family, which had worked its way out of welfare, food stamps, and a very nice mobile home park, would have been crushed had it not been for one simple thing: the survivor benefits of the Social Security system. It wasn't a fuck of a lot of money, but between survivor and dependent benefits, the Rude Pundit wasn't sent off to live with creepy Uncle Marvin and his cold, cold fingertips. It was enough to pay the rent. It was enough to supplement Mama Rude's income. See, caught up in the whole debate about privatization is the fact that, really, retirement benefits only make up a portion of what Social Security pays out. In fact, between survivor and disability benefits, retirement makes up a smaller part of the SS pie than you might imagine.

Says reader David S, who was a claims rep for Social Security for 17 years, "Social Security is a social insurance system, with roughly 1/3 of payments going to the severely disabled and 1/3 going to survivors, and 1/3 going to retirees. Any disciplined fool could take the money and beat the retirement benefits today (though that wasn't true in the past), but it would take an astute person to beat the whole package. Disability coverage is freakin' expensive, and your Bushie investment plans aren't going to be much use for that." But we're not hearin' a fuck of a lot about disability and survivor benefits. Certainly not in the "Ask the White House" online chat with Special Assistant to the President on Economic Policy Chuck Blahous, who created the new mantra, "The President does not want to privatize Social Security," even though Bush does want private individuals to control where a private portion of their private Social Security is privately invested.

[...]

All that's been said in the vague doublespeak of Bush's as-yet-unannounced plan, which, no doubt, will be massive and released in the middle of the night for voting the next morning, about Social Security's survivor and disability insurance is that Bush wants to "preserve" them. But the Social Security Adminstration's website says, "Most plans, including those put forth by the President's Commission to Strengthen Social Security, do not reduce the benefits of currently disabled beneficiaries." That's "currently disabled." In other words, lose a limb now, motherfucker, or you better start shinin' your coin cups. (Why is the SSA website promoting Bush's policies? Isn't that the use of government funds for partisan political purposes?)

~*~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ET

Unfortunately, your present is in transit from the land of the rising sun.
It is childish and silly, which, hopefully, is still appropriate for a rabbit of your age and rage.
(It would be for a presweetened feline of my even more advanced senescence.)

Hope your birthday party is suitably super-awesome and filled with tasty goodness.
And maybe a equally delectable bisshonen-type man-toy wrapped in a bow, if you're so inclined.

~sugarkat

YAAAAAAAAAY!

CONGRATULATIONS, MAGGIE AND RYAN

You are super-awesome, Maggie, and I wish you and Ryan all the happiness and love and peace and prosperity and cool gadgets you can handle.

With bouncy-happy (and belated) exuberation,

sugarkat
=^_^=

OMEDETOUGOZAIMASU!

Quote of the Day

"Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing."

-William James

Happy Birthday, Mister Hamilton

From today's Writer's Almanac

It's the birthday of one of the founding fathers of our country, Alexander Hamilton, born in the British West Indies (1755, some sources say 1757). He's the man on the $10 bill.

He grew up on the tiny island of Nevis, where his father abandoned the family and his mother died when he was just a boy. He was taken in by a local merchant who gave him a job at a general store. He turned out to be quite good at accounting, so when he was thirteen, his boss took a trip to Europe and left young Alexander in charge of the store. He started writing on the side, and an article about a recent hurricane so impressed the adults around him that they all pitched in to pay for his passage to New York, where he could attend school.

He arrived in America just as rebellion against Great Britain was brewing, and he immediately began to write for New York newspapers in support of the colonies' rights. He impressed George Washington so much that he became Washington's right hand man when he was barely twenty-years old. After the revolution, when many American politicians believed that the colonies should remain mostly independent of each other, Hamilton was one of the earliest supporters of a strong central government.

In just three years, between 1787 and 1790, he served on the constitutional convention, wrote the majority of the Federalist Papers, (which helped garner support for the new constitution) became the first secretary of the treasury, and set up the U.S. National Bank.

While serving on Washington's cabinet, Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson became bitter enemies, and set out to undermine each other with gossip about each other's scandalous private lives. Hamilton was having an affair at the time, and there were rumors that Jefferson had had children with one of his slaves. But despite their bitter rivalry, Hamilton later spoke in favor of Jefferson as president over Aaron Burr, whom he considered a scoundrel.

Four years later, Burr challenged him to a duel. They met at sunrise in a wooded area of Weehawken, New Jersey, above the Hudson River. Hamilton showed up for the duel to prove his courage, but he purposely fired his gun straight up into the air. Burr aimed at him anyway, and Hamilton was mortally wounded and died the next day.

He hasn't been as well remembered as Washington or Jefferson, but by setting up the national treasury, the national bank, the first budgetary and tax systems, and most of all by helping gather support for the U.S. constitution, he did more to design the system of government we now live under than almost any other man.

The columnist George F. Will said, "We honor Jefferson, but live in Hamilton's country."

Alexander Hamilton wrote, "The sacred rights of mankind are not to be rummaged for among old parchments or musty records. They are written, as with a sunbeam, in the whole volume of human nature by the hand of the divinity itself and can never be erased or obscured by mortal power."

It's also William James's birthday. He was Henry James's philosopher/early psyschologist brother who wrote better than his more famous sibling. He's also the man responsible for the concept of "stream of consciousness" writing.

*whistling into the wind*

HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY, MAGGIE

Sorry I didn't get to send you your present in time, but it's stuck in Japan, keeping ET's Christmas and birthday presents company.

Hope you had a groovalicious birthday....

~sugarkat
*slinks into corner*
*guilt*
*guilt*
*guilt*

Bwa-hahahahahahaha!

From Associated Press on Yahoo! News - CNN Lets 'Crossfire' Host Carlson Go:

"I guess I come down more firmly in the Jon Stewart camp," Klein told The Associated Press.

Random Whedon Quote

People who are prettier than me are not supposed to be funnier than me.

- on Nathan Fillion

Now Blogging This

As stated in a previous entry, I was considering not continuing this blog. But since Maggie asked me to do otherwise and as Maggie is cool, I've decided to post my annual Xmas Booty post to commemorate the continuation of the blogness.

whut i dun got

• From my elder sister, E-- and her little tribelet:
  THE box set: The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (Platinum Series Special Extended Edition Collector's Gift Set)
  yee-haw!




• [edit 1/2/05] from my sister E--:
  Orlando Bloom 2004 calendar, featuring pics of him looking all snuggly in bed
  silly big sister




• from my sister E--'s two boys:
  Muppet Show: Music Mayhem & More - 25th Anniversary Collection CD




• [edit 1/2/05] from my sister E--'s eldest, J--:
  a very nasty cold
  gee, thanks, kid




• from my little brother, D--:
  Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy DVD
  Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, David Sedaris
  le yay




• from my eldest sister, J-- and her tribe en France:
  ...dunno, as whichever company she ordered it from is taking their own sweet time in getting the package to me
  
  [edit 1/2/05] Actually, it got here in plenty of time. Mom just couldn't be bothered to check with J-- who was supposed to get what. Nice, huh?
  I got a very pretty red scarf, the type you wear decoratively, not the warm kind




• from mes parents:
  ticket to go see Democracy the new play by the fellow who wrote Copenhagen...neither of which any of you know and/or give a damn about




• from friend Danielle:
  Bill Cosby Is A Very Funny Fellow ... Right! CD




• from friend Lorin:
  Pirates of the Caribbean: the Curse of the Black Pearl DVD




• from friend Mitsuki-chan:
  Chinatown versions of Kerokerokeroppi wallet, coinpurse, and drawstring bag to make up for my (legit) Kerokerokeroppi wallet being stolen the week before Christmas
  ...aww, how sweet! yay!

Where's it at, Sugar Kat?

Um, nowhere, lil' bear.

I will not be making further updates to this blog until I hear from those who have been reading the blog. I'm assuming no one is at the moment, so, really, what's the point?

Anyway, I've been too busy failing my classes since Grandma's funeral to maintain this thing.

If you're actually reading and want updates, please post a comment. Or e-mail me. If not, well, there we go.

Should be illegal, considering you have to PAY for incoming calls..

From a forwarded e-mail my family received from my techie brother-in-law:

In a few weeks, cell phone numbers are being released to telemarketing companies and you will start to receive sales calls on cell phones. Go to this link to put your cell number on the national Do Not Call list. It blocks your number for 5 years.

Here is online form

https://www.donotcall.gov/register/reg.aspx

Why I read The Pinstriped Bible

And so we wait through another Thanksgiving. Another tasteless American butterball turkey, as appetizing as one of Don Zimmer's old socks stuffed with sawdust, is placed before us by a relative we secretly don't like. Honey, how soon can we get out of here — and why, at the very least, isn't there some baseball news to distract me from the gloomy business of being thankful?

The Onion | Nation's Poor Win Election For Nation's Rich

"The Republican party—the party of industrial mega-capitalists, corporate financiers, power brokers, and the moneyed elite—would like to thank the undereducated rural poor, the struggling blue-collar workers in Middle America, and the God-fearing underpriviledged minorities who voted George W. Bush back into office," Karl Rove, senior advisor to Bush, told reporters at a press conference Monday. "You have selflessly sacrificed your well-being and voted against your own economic interest. For this, we humbly thank you."

What number are you?

You Are the Individualist

4 You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself. You are creative and dreamy... plus dramatic and unpredictable. You're emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt. Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel.

fun with fetuses

I adopted a cute lil' ninja fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

Oh my lord, I must have this!

Totoro DX Plush Backpack -- Large.

GAH!

Faith quiz

Intersting results, considering I don't consider myself to be any of the top ten (or any of the rest of them, either) and was raised Catholic. I wonder what my mother would think of the number one group. Or my grandmother. I don't think Grandma would be pleased that I'm only 48% Roman Catholic. (Look how Quakery I am! Two Quaker groups in the top ten! ...Neo-Pagan...and New Age? The fuck? Usually whenever I'm talking about either of those groups, it's to mock them. And what the hell is Bahá'í, anyway?) 'Course, it's just a freakin' internet quiz, which means the results are flawed due to the nature of the limited and biased questioning. Still, I found it interesting, especially after hearing the first pleasant sermon at a Catholic church in decades this past Friday. Why does death bring out the best in priests? (Then again, he was young and enthusiastic with a very pleasant voice, which is persuasive in nearly any profession.)

Your Results:

The top score on the list below represents the faith that Belief-O-Matic, in its less than infinite wisdom, thinks most closely matches your beliefs. However, even a score of 100% does not mean that your views are all shared by this faith, or vice versa.

Belief-O-Matic then lists another 26 faiths in order of how much they have in common with your professed beliefs. The higher a faith appears on this list, the more closely it aligns with your thinking.

1. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (100%)
2. Liberal Quakers (95%)
3. Unitarian Universalism (83%)
4. Neo-Pagan (77%)
5. Orthodox Quaker (73%)
6. Reform Judaism (73%)
7. Bahá'í Faith (72%)
8. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (70%)
9. Sikhism (68%)
10. New Age (62%)
11. Jehovah's Witness (62%)
12. Secular Humanism (61%)
13. Mahayana Buddhism (60%)
14. Theravada Buddhism (58%)
15. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (58%)
16. Orthodox Judaism (55%)
17. Jainism (50%)
18. Taoism (49%)
19. Eastern Orthodox (48%)
20. Roman Catholic (48%)
21. Hinduism (47%)
22. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (47%)
23. Seventh Day Adventist (46%)
24. Islam (44%)
25. New Thought (39%)
26. Scientology (37%)
27. Nontheist (31%)

The Belief-O-Matic quiz can be taken here.

Which Clow Card are you?

You are "The Watery"


brought to you by Quizilla

That's hilarious

Immaturity Test

Your score is 9

6-10:
You act 19. Look, college was fun. But unless you're still studying at a university, it might be time to grow up a little.

snort Yeah, right.

So fucking appropriate after this weekend from hell

little trooper sugar kat may explode without warning

M EXPLOSIVE

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com

---

And because I simply couldn't resist entering them for myself:

PARENTAL

ADVISORY

ANGRY RABBIT CONTAINS EXPLICIT LYRICS

UCAUTION

IN THE INTEREST OF SAFETY IT IS ADVISABLE TO KEEP SHEEP BOY AWAY FROM FIRE AND FLAMES.

WARNING

halifaxslasher is radioactive. Wear protective clothing at all times.

Don't touch!

Keep your hands away from your naughty bits, you kitten killer.

From The Writer's Almanac

Because if today's an unpleasant day, you can always find neat in the annals of history.

Poor Emerson. He was so disappointed. Peabody had a time of it keeping his spirits up. (Ahem.)

It was on this day in 1922 that a British man named Howard Carter made one of the greatest archeological discoveries of all time by discovering the tomb of King Tutankhamen. It was the first fully intact pharaoh's tomb ever found by an archaeologist.

King Tut's tomb was located in the Valley of the Kings. Egyptians had hoped that by hiding the tombs in among the rocky hills of the valley, they would prevent robbers from stealing the valuable contents of the burial chambers. The robbers were persistent, though, and by the time Howard Carter first joined the archaeological survey of Egypt, as a seventeen year old in 1893, most of the tombs had been emptied of anything of value.

Carter was an amateur artist, and he got a job copying ancient Egyptian paintings and inscriptions so that they could be studied by scholars around the world. He worked his way up to supervising excavations. Most archaeologists at the time believed that there wasn't much left to be discovered in the Valley of the Kings, but Carter had found references to a little known pharaoh whose tomb had never been found. He got the wealthy investor Lord Carnarvon to fund a series of exploratory excavations, but he turned up almost nothing. Carnarvon finally told him that he couldn't spend any more money on the search, but Carter persuaded him to fund one more excavation.

The dig began on the first of November. Three days later, on this day in 1922, one of the site workers needed to set down his water jar, so he kicked some rocks off a flat spot on the ground and noticed that it looked like part of a staircase. By the end of the day, Carter had uncovered a series of steps that led to a sealed door. Carter sent a telegram to Lord Carnarvon, and a few weeks later they entered the tomb together.

A long corridor led to wall of stones that blocked the entrance to the antechamber. Carter carefully removed enough stones to make a hole in the door, and then extended his candle through the hole. Carnarvon asked if he could see anything, and Carter replied, "Yes...Wonderful things!"

Carter later said, "At first I could see nothing, the hot air escaping from the chamber causing the candle flame to flicker, but presently, as my eyes grew accustomed to the light, details of the room within emerged slowly from the mist, strange animals, statues and gold...everywhere the glint of gold."

Egyptians believed that they should be buried with all the objects they would need in the afterlife, and Carter found more than five thousand such objects in the tomb, including boomerangs, shields, eye makeup, and 116 baskets of food. It took him ten years to extract and catalogue everything.

It turned out to be the tomb of a pharaoh who had come to the throne as a young boy and died when he was only a teenager. The tomb probably wasn't ever found by robbers because it was a smaller than average chamber. And Carter was surprised to find how hastily the tomb had been decorated. The objects were all jumbled together, and the wall paintings were sloppy, with splashes of paint in the corners that no one had cleaned up.

Many people have speculated that King Tut's hasty burial is evidence that he was murdered. In 1968, a researcher from Liverpool X-rayed the mummy and discovered that there was evidence King Tut had died from a blow to the head.

There has long been speculation about King Tut's curse. Lord Carnarvon died of an unknown illness a few months after exploring King Tut's tomb. That same day, the electricity went out in the city of Cairo, and back in England, Carnarvon's dog, Susie, suddenly howled and died. Some scientists believe that Carnarvon might have inhaled an ancient fungus or microbe that overwhelmed his immune system. As for the electricity, it was pretty unreliable in Cairo at the time. Nobody has any theories about the dog.

The election

What she said.

*~~~~~~~~0o0~~~~~~~~0_0~~~~~~~~0,0~~~~~~~~*

Happy Hallowe'en!

We actually had trick-or-treaters this year. They were cute and polite. I had a hard time persuading them to take more than one piece of candy each. They waited in turn when there were lots of them at once. I'm inordinately happy that we actually had people ringing the bell this year, but that might be because I put together a last-minute cat costume this year for the benefit of those who came to the door and actually wanted people to come to the door to see it.

I hope you, Dear Reader, had a wonderful costume-draped, candy-filled Hallowe'en.

Except for ET, who was travelling back from Tempe. For you, I hope your flights were good and that you didn't run out of munchies for the plane. I know you had plenty of books. Welcome back to the mundane world, 'Rabbit.

Hobbitses!

Look! They found hobbits!

Scientists Find Prehistoric Dwarf Skeleton

[...] The finding on a remote Indonesian island has stunned anthropologists like no other in recent memory. It is a fundamentally new creature that bears more of a resemblance to fictional, barefooted hobbits than modern humans.

Yet biologically speaking, it may have been closely related to us and perhaps even shared its caves with our ancestors.

[...]

Millenia ago, Flores was a kind of a looking-glass world, a real-life Middle-earth inhabited by a menagerie of fantastical creatures like giant tortoises, elephants as small as ponies and rats as big as hunting dogs.

It even had a dragon, although they were giant lizards like today's carnivorous Komodo dragons rather than the treasure-hoarding Smaug described by novelist J.R.R. Tolkien in his "Lord of the Rings" trilogy.

Next they'll find the remains of some human-like species that's a little bit taller and more slender. And then they'll find the twisted bones of creatures that weren't quite human, either. And then they'll find the even older fossilized remains of an old swamp filled with the bones of humans and these other two kinds of humanoids and the tiniest fragments of armor and weaponry. And when all that happens, the five-year old me who believed that the grown-ups were wrong, that Tolkien's elves and hobbits and orcs really did exist once, will be vindicated.

Scary-funny

There is no paper trail for the new Diebold voting machines which are being used by some districts next Tuesday.

An international organization is sending an election observation mission to the States, like they go to check on Belarussian, Nicaraguan, Afghani, and Iraqi elections, to make sure there's no unreported election hankypanky.

On the lighter side is this little webvideo: Electronic voting machines in Florida. Have fun! Ha ha ha...um. Ha?

Eeeeevil!

In the spirit of the upcoming holiday, I present to you the evil clown generator. Go have fun, Sparky.

crap...i wrote...a really bad pun...gak!

Hoo-ray for Mr. Sun!

Regarding the numerous warnings from Mr. Cheney, Mr. Sun! informs us of the most recent...

Ominous warning from Darth Cheney: if John Kerry is elected, gravity will deteriorate and all matter will float into the sweet black death of nothingness. Bonus for K/E if it happens: there are probably beings on distant stars who do not yet know that Mary Cheney is a lesbian. As they drift by, Kerry and Edwards can shout out the news. Vote accordingly.

Dearest Boston

Congratulations to your team. They have a lot of heart and fight. They've earned this Yankees fan's admiration.

However, I would suggest one thing regarding the World Series: if your team wins, do not riot.

Another suggestion: if your team loses, do not riot.

Leave the rioting to the L.A. Lakers fans. It really doesn't suit the East Coast.

If people around you are "celebrating heavily," leave. It's a riot, dear. Go find a quieter space. Do not go into the crowd. If there is a guy in riot gear coming towards your area, get the hell away from the rest of the drunken-ass bahstahds. If you are with the rioting drunken-ass bahstahds, you are complicit in their actions. Not a good idea to hang around with them, no matter how much they declaim the suckage of New York and its teams and/or the wonders of your crimson hosiery. Go to one of Boston's fine eating establishments and get something to eat which isn't a hot dog. Go home and hug your fellow fans/loved ones. Stay away from the "party," as it's no longer considered revelry once they start setting cars on fire and throwing bottles at the police. It's a riot. The men in riot gear will do what it takes to stop the riot. Even things they will regret later, as the Northeast is not a place used to rioting of late and has lost its riot-control edge.

I'm sorry people were hurt and that student died. This was, however, one thing that would never happen in New York. We lose, we win. We do not riot over a game.

Author/artist visit alert!!

Tomorrow, Saturday the 23rd of October

Sorry I didn't post this earlier, but for those who might be interested in such things, BRIAN FROUD is going to be at Books of Wonder tomorrow for a Milk and Cookies Press event. Check out the BoW link for more detail.

A neocon lightbulb joke

How many members of the Bush Administration are needed to replace a light bulb?

The Answer is TEN:

1. one to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed,

2. one to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed,

3. one to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb

4. one to tell the nations of the world that they are either for changing the light bulb or for darkness,

5. one to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Haliburton for the new light bulb

6. one to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner "Light Bulb Change Accomplished",

7. one administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in detail how Bush was literally "in the dark",

8. one to viciously smear #7,

9. one surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along,

10. and finally one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb? and screwing the country.

Bush Debate Bingo

I wish I'd seen this while the debates were still going on. Look at the fun and useful Bush debate bingo card. There are even these handy-dandy game pieces.

(Reminds me a little of the TCM profanity bingo card ET told me about.)

Plus, there's this great Boondocks strip on Bush's behavior at the debates.

Jon Stewart moichidoonegaishimasu

I thought I'd put in this link to a well-written NYT article on Jon Stewart, The Daily Show, and Stewart's appearance on CNN's Crossfire. I'm thinking of copy-pasting, but I'm scared of pissing off NYT. Here's just a little bit:

What distinguishes Mr. Stewart from Jay Leno and David Letterman is that the Comedy Central star mocks the entire political process, boring in tightly on the lockstep thinking and complacency of the parties and the media as well as the candidates. More than other television analysts and commentators, he and his writers put a spotlight on the inanities and bland hypocrisies that go mostly unnoticed in the average news cycle.

Mr. Stewart is very funny, but it is the vein of "a plague on both your houses" indignation that has made his show a cult favorite: many younger voters are turning to the "The Daily Show" for their news analysis, and are better served there than on much of what purports to be real news on cable.

Lord of the Sith

I really wish I could post pictures on here so that everyone could always see this Boondocks comic. It cracked me the hell up. Go see the funny.

Yatta!

Ha! Found it! Now you don't have to deal with frickin' frackin' BitTorrent, but, instead, use the link here at CNN. There is an article (eh) and a link to the RealVideo file of the classic visit/ass kicking.

God bless Jon Stewart.

"Holy shit" is right

This is from an e-mail from my brother's friend, which he then forwarded:

You need to read the transcript of [CNN's] Crossfire where Tucker Carlson interviews Jon Stewart. Holy shit.

http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0410/15/cf.01.html

I did not think I could love Jon Stewart more than I already do. But I really now do.

On a completely different front, I just watched the last eight DVDs of Cardcaptor Sakura and my head's in a completely weird space. However, my Japanese has improved mightily.

...

I'm kinda crushing on Jon Stewart.

For Maggie

Yes, there is really a dirt road named "Maggie's Run" in Vermont. Five pictures of proof can be found at the (mis)adventures of little trooper sugar kat: photo evidence.

See? I told you ET'd do it better

Death of Superman

Superman is dead

ET can't post this post, so I'm doing it for her, though not as well.

"Superman" Christopher Reeve Dies at 52.

He was the face of Superman for a generation. He'll always be the face and voice of Superman to me, at least, no matter how cheesy the movies were.

He was maligned by some for not becoming an advocate for those who'd suffered from spinal cord injuries and diseases until he had had his accident. Still, he's brought national attention to stem cell research, which is the hope for those like him, as well as those who suffer from Alzheimer's, like my grandmother, from Parkinson's, like Mohammed Ali and Michael J. Fox, and many other horribly debilitating and deadly diseases. This research is now part of the national debate.

He performed what doctors thought were miracles, but the people who have loved those with nervous system and brain injuries can tell you is entirely possible when the right treatment and right therapists/nurses/doctors are involved. My uncle would have made a much greater recovery if the doctors and nurses had just had patience and believed in him. Now, maybe, doctors and other health professionals won't write off people who've been severely injured, like they did my uncle, but will understand how much people are capable of doing.

But, mostly, I have to admit, and he'd probably be pissed if he knew this, I think Clark Kent has died. Somehow I doubt that whoever they cast in the next, ever-delayed Superman movie will fill the big red boots or the dorky glasses as well as he did.

the continuing misadventures of little trooper shopper kat

Dammit, woman, you know I'm weak. Why the hell did you tell me about that Closeouts place? Arg!

I'm disturbed by their lack of Crowley, Moran, and Powers. Must continue my search.

I really can blame no one but myself for the fiscal fiasco at Anime Castle. (But...! Japanese OSTs for $9.99! I could not resist! Gah!)

What kind of ninja are you?

Good Ninja - Bad Ninja Test

Thanks for taking the test. After very careful study of the answers you have us, you seem to be a good ninja. It is important to follow the high roads on your journeys, and you seem to be getting pretty high. Good job.

If you feel that this test is not entirely accurate, and that you have some evil that is not coming through, please feel free to try the test again.

Do you still want more ninja fun? Why not test your sixth sense with our Ninja Psychic Test.

Toooooooootemo kawaiiiiiiiiiiii

Must! Get! InuYasha Gashapon Set of 7 Pcs Figure! Gah!

Yay books!

I was hoping the box sitting in the passenger seat when Mom picked me up contained my new Japanese textbook and workbook. I need the workbook desperately, as we're covering the kanji in there now. It was not my Japanese stuff. It was the order I made of super-on-sale books. I got Shopgirl (hardcover, less than $6) and The Pleasure of My Company (paperback, $6) by Steve Martin and the latest in A Series of Unfortunate Events, The Grim Grotto ($6). I was happy to have something to distract me from the ennui of midterms which wasn't too long (none of them will be more than a couple of hours' reading a most). I was even happier to see "First Edition" on the copyright page of Shopgirl and The Grim Grotto and "First Paperback Edition" on the copyright page of The Pleasure of My Company. I have a weakness for first editions. I'm especially happy that Shopgirl is a first edition, as I've read that the first edition can go for as much as $38. (Again, I got it for less than $6.) I showed it to Mom and thought of how much it'd be worth if only I could get Mr. Martin to sign it for me. Mmmm. Warm fuzzies. Booooks!

Comfort food

Went over to Amherst, Mass., yesterday, to do some grocery shopping. They have very nice Trader Joe's and Whole Foods stores there. We have frickin' crap-ass Price Chopper and Hannaford, which is barely an improvement on PC. Ick. Anyway, since I'm getting my student loan soon, I can buy my food again (which Mom prefers). I got some stuff at Trader Joe's, and a little bit from Whole Foods, mostly stuff under the Whole Foods brand which I know is good and can only get there (obviously). Among the things I bought was a large container of matzoh ball soup, which I have not had in years and years.

The last time I had it was the first time I'd had it. I can't remember if I liked it a lot then, or if it's really the very sweet memory of when I ate it that made me buy the soup. My boyfriend at the time served it to me because he was so worried about how sick I was. He said it was Jewish penicillin, which made me laugh (he was very good at making me laugh). He sat across from me while I ate it, not eating himself, and making sure I finished the bowl as he chatted away. He was the nicest guy I've dated, though my list of exboyfriends isn't very long at all. We were completely wrong for each other, but I'm glad we dated for a little while so I have these nice, warm memories to look back on instead of the crappy ones I have from dating the other jerks to whom I've had the poor taste to be romantically attached. So, I'll eat this matzoh ball soup and think nice thoughts his way, as he was chemically-imbalanced crazy but very, very sweet for a short while to a girl who was a complete mess in the head.

Boo-yeah!

I gots me a Gmail account! Woo! This is what comes from hanging out with 19 year olds, I guess. Kids have all the connections. I probably should have donated my invite to a soldier, but I'm selfish and evil. Also, I want to have a nice, big account available to me not matter where I am for when I'm eventually booted out of Mom's house and no longer have access to a decent computer/modem. When that happens, my AOL account will hardly ever be used anymore, as I probably won't have access to the internet from wherever I'll be calling my home then. I don't even know if I'll be able to afford a phone line, let alone a decent line of internet access (be it cable or DSL or whatnot). Anyway, this Gmail is MINE! ALL MINE! Boo-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Plus, Kerry totally wiped the floor with Bush last night. I kept thinking that Bush has this reputation of being a really good debater. I've seen evidence of this from video of past debates, especially the ones when he was running for govenor of Texas. He's usually highly effective, yet last night...it was kind of crazy. Want proof? Watch the rerun of last night's "The Daily Show." It's slightly less painful that watching the debate. There's something about having your president humiliated, even if you don't agree with him, that's difficult to bear witness to, at least for me.

FYI, from washingtonpost.com

3 DeLay Workers Indicted in Texas
Aides Charged in Fundraising Probe
By Sylvia Moreno
Washington Post Staff Writer
Wednesday, September 22, 2004; Page A01

AUSTIN, Sept. 21 -- Three top political aides to House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Tex.) were indicted Tuesday on charges of illegally raising political funds from corporations in 2002, much of which was funneled into the Republican takeover of the Texas legislature.

Corporate contributions to state legislative candidates are illegal in Texas. A Travis County grand jury indicted DeLay political aide Jim Ellis, fundraiser Warren RoBold and John Colyandro, the executive director of DeLay's political action committee, Texans for a Republican Majority, known as TRMPAC. Eight corporations also were indicted for illegal political contributions.

The grand jury never questioned DeLay or sought records from him. But the panel's actions could rattle his supporters and embolden his critics because the three men indicted include some of his closest and most loyal allies. Moreover, the targeted fundraising activities were at the heart of one of DeLay's most cherished, high-profile endeavors of the past several years: giving Republicans control of the Texas legislature so the state's 32 U.S. House districts could be redrawn in a way likely to send more Republicans to Congress.

That is what the legislature did last year, and DeLay has often cited the redistricting effort as a key reason he expects the Nov. 2 election to expand the GOP House majority.

Ellis, 47, of Arlington, Va., and Colyandro, 40, of Austin, were indicted on one count each of money laundering -- specifically taking $190,000 in corporate money raised by TRMPAC and giving it to the Republican National Committee, which, in turn, had the Republican National State Elections Committee contribute to seven Texas House candidates. In all, about 20 Republican candidates were helped by TRMPAC activities to win Texas House seats.

Colyandro was indicted on 13 counts of unlawfully accepting $425,000 in corporate political contributions. RoBold, 48, of Middletown was indicted on nine counts of unlawfully soliciting and accepting $250,000 in corporate political contributions.

The indictments follow a 21-month investigation by three different grand juries into the activities of TRMPAC. The result of that inquiry, said Travis County District Attorney Ronnie Earle, was an "outline of an effort to use corporate contributions to control representative democracy in Texas."

Since 1905, Texas law has prohibited the giving or receiving of political contributions from corporations and labor unions to candidates.

At a news conference, Earle, a Democrat, said that although the three-month term of the latest grand jury expires Sept. 30, the investigation has not ended. "This is a continuing investigation into allegations of criminal activity related to the 2002 Texas elections," he said.

Those elections resulted in the Republican takeover of the Texas House for the first time since Reconstruction. With the legislature dominated by the GOP, Republican Tom Craddick of Midland was elected Texas House speaker last year and the Texas congressional districts were then redrawn to send more Republican lawmakers to Congress, strengthening DeLay's base as majority leader. The Washington Post has previously reported that Craddick's role in disbursing money to candidates from TRMPAC was being scrutinized by the grand jury, but he has not been charged and he was not named in Tuesday's indictment.

DeLay was not named as a target of the grand jury's investigation, but documents disclosed in the inquiry indicate that DeLay was central to creating and overseeing the political fundraising in Texas. When asked whether the continuing probe could lead to allegations of wrongdoing against DeLay, Earle said: "My response has been consistent, in that anyone who has committed a crime is a target."

In Washington, DeLay said the legal case in Texas would not affect him.

"This has been an investigation that has been underway for nearly two years, and 40 days before the election, suddenly they've taken action," DeLay said in a statement issued by his office. "You do the political math."

"I'll reiterate what I've said before and today's action emphasizes: I have not been subpoenaed; I have not been asked to testify; and I have not been called as a witness. They've made clear this investigation is not about me."

[To read further, click here.]

How come I didn't know about this? How come this isn't all over the damned TV/radio news? He's the most powerful man in the House and there's been nothing. sigh Our nation's on crack, and I'm too fucking busy to read the paper.

Merry wandering

Turns out that Lost is really fun and tense and strange and exciting, with live people going through plane engines and causing them to 'splode into other live people--whee!. You know, the usual JJ Abrams-y goodness, but with a dab of hobbit-y goodness, though it looks like Merry drank a lot more of that water at Treebeard's "house" on the way back from Minas Tirith or something, 'cause he's, like, as tall as the Men.

So, like, is this thing knocking over palm trees and killing pilots who mysteriously resemble Agent Eric Weiss an angry ent or something?

Crap. Now I have another show I'm watching. I was hoping to cut back this year.

(Return of the) Whedon Quote of the Week

I can safely say this will be the greatest film since whatever film comes out right before it.

→ Joss Whedon on his film Serenity, currently in post-production

Oh, dear lord, I so desperately want this

It's never available. I can almost never find the 1955 Womans Home Companion Cookbook, yet here it is, for $25.00. On Hold. Dammit.

If anyone wants to give me a kick-ass graduation gift in May which does not include the words "iPod" or "Powerbook" and "Apple" in its description, please find me the 1955 edition of the WHCC. Best cookie recipies EVER, plus the tastiest deviled eggs on the earth. All entirely without shame of calories, fat, or carbohydrates. It's glorious.

Leafy

A tip to those of my Dear Readers who like to go leaf-viewing (the aki version of hanamisurukoto...no idea if there's a word for it in nihongo...anyone?). This fall is as strange as our summer. The leaves are turning starting, like, now. It'll be a long fall, I think, when it comes to foliage, but some of the more vivid reds might be gone by the time you make it up north out of the City.

Unfortunate News, Dear Reader

An electronic-mail was sent to me to warn me of the following event. I thought perhaps I should share this alert with my friends in New York so that they may avoid such unpleasantness themselves.

A Grim Evening with Lemony Snicket

Tuesday, September 21, 2004, 6 p.m.

Symphony Space

Peter Jay Sharp Theatre

2537 Broadway at 95th St.

New York City

If you are looking for a pleasant night out, you would probably be

better off attending some other event. This rare public appearance by

the elusive best-selling author Lemony Snicket will include shocking

details from his anxiously awaited new work, The Grim Grotto, Book the

Eleventh in A Series of Unfortunate Events. Even worse, books will be

offered for sale by Books of Wonder. Fortunately, if tickets sell out

quickly, you won't be able to attend. Presented by HarperCollins

Children's Books.

Tickets: $8; $6 Members, Children, Seniors, Students.

To purchase tickets, please visit:

http://www.symphonyspace.org/genres/eventPage.php?genreId=4&eventId=1079

http://www.lemonysnicket.com/desc_grim.html

Speaking of which...

Yay! Super-computer-genius brother-in-law M-- talked Mom through rescuing her computer! So happy! In fact, she's so happy that she's allowed me to go online again. Making me type my papers on my crap-ass old pentium from, like, 1997, but I can surf to my heart's content again. Hoo-ray for Super-computer-genius Brother-in-law M--!

P.S.

Hi, Angry Rabbit! Sorry if I messed up the close of your workday. Nice to talk to you. Well, kvetch at you. Whatever.

I will respond to your e-mail when I get up the courage to open AOL again. In the meantime, I shall add you to my AIM list. You will get IMd by a semi-recognizable person shortly. (Uh, and I have two AIM accounts, just for that added spice of confusion.)

Effed-up blog

Ah, Dear Readers.

I was told by one of you today that there is some problem with the formatting of this blog. This roachbird said that the links column, which should be immediately to the left of the entry column, is, instead, at the bottom of the entry column. Is this true for you all?

I must admit, on none of the computers upon which I have so carelessly crafted this web-based journal have I seen the misplacement of said column. I shall be concerned even more if yet another of my readers is plagued by such faulty formatting. That having been said, I have absolutely no idea how to fix something which doesn't need fixing when I see it.

This is what happens when the nigh-computer-illiterate come to play on the Internet.

At any rate, please do respond if you have or have not had problems with the placement of my links column. Or would care to post a poem. Or a dirty limerick, please, as I've yet to hear anyone actually finish a dirty limerick in my presence. For some reason, the guys (why is it always a guy? don't women ever learn dirty limericks? is it a health ed split class thing?) reciting the limerick always stop mid-way, look at me, blush, then say they'd rather not tell me the limerick after all. How immensely frustrating.