Entertaining Oneself Whilst Riding Shotgun

If my mother and I want to do, well, anything at all, really, we generally have to drive a long way from Albany, as, Dear Reader, you well know by now, nothing at all ever happens in Smalbany. During these car trips, I can entertain myself by looking out the window at the passing countryside, which is generally very lovely (more on that in a later post, I suppose). When we come to strip-mally places, places where the flags are larger than the entire plot of land where my parents’ house stands (moving straight past patriotism into tacky advertising) there’s really not much to look at other than the other cars (though I do enjoy watching clouds). Lord knows I don’t want to talk to my mom, and sometimes we really aren’t in the mood to listen to Pepys’ diary on tape. Anyway, most folk do the VW Bug game, tracking which color Beetle (or old Bug) you see. Or maybe they guess what vanity plates mean or make up words from the regular plates, deep meaning from the random digits. Road trip games to pass the time, centered on the one thing you’re bound to see a lot of: other cars (at least in the more densely populated Eastern Seaboard; I’ve no idea what car games folks on empty road would play).

In December, around Christmastime, I noticed there are a heck of a lot of people from far-away states driving around the Great State of New York (“Excelsior!”), so I started keeping track of the states. I remember that the trip during New Year’s weekend, I saw Hawaii and Alaska in the tri-state region, which astounded me. During the past couple of trips, I’ve taken to writing down the states (and provinces), even keeping track of how many from each state As I haven’t posted for a while, I’m going to post my results, which will both make for a nice, long post and clearly indicate how fecking boring my life really is, or maybe of how boring I am, depending on how self-analytical I feel like being tonight.

Please note I wrote down both lists using the state/province code (DE for Delaware, for example), of which I am very proud as not a lot of people can remember them all. Shout out to the data entry clerks! Ho-oh! Data clerks represent!

First Trip: Saturday, May 10th.
Where: New York City (natch).
Why: We were going to Books of Wonder to meet Eoin Colfer and have him sign copies of the latest Artemis Fowl book for my nephews (and me!). Mom thought it’d be a good idea to catch X2, which she was eager to see once she’d seen all of X-Men. The theaters in Manhattan are very much better than anything we have up here. So are the audiences. (Mom missed the last 25 minutes or so of the movie because she had to get the car from the lot before it closed, so we have to go see it again. Aw, shucks.)
States/Provinces (number in parenthesis if more than one):

• California (6)
  
• Colorado
  
• Tennessee
  
• Pennsylvania (several; meaning, eventually more than I felt like counting)
  
• Québec (6)
  
• Ontario (spreading their SARS south of the border)
  
• New Jersey (hell, it’s ‘Jersey; there were lots more than I’d ever care to count)
  
• Vermont (4)
  
• Maryland (4)
  
• Virginia (7)
  
• Maine (2)
  
• Florida (8 ;one Marine corps plate, one plate with the space shuttle on it! Cool!)
  
• New Hampshire (2; I’m going to miss the Old Man Of The Mountain …or was it “In”?)
  
• Texas (voted best car seen: packed to the gills like a college student was moving away from the dorm; among the luggage was a Rice-A-Roni box accidentally prominently displayed in the back window; best feature: many Scooby Doo stickers covering the back end)
  
• Connecticut (this was a definite “oh, fuck it, there’s lots” state)
  
• Delaware (2)
  
• Ohio
  
• Rhode Island (5; they have the waving sea on their plates—pretty!)
  
• Massachusetts (9)
  
• Mississippi
  
• Washington, D.C.
  
• Illinois (Lincoln’s head plate)
  
• North Carolina (3)
  
• South Carolina (2)
  
• Louisiana
  
• Kentucky
  
  also
  
  
• two Diplomat plates.

Total States: 23 out of 50, not including the state in which we drove, New York, plus the District of Columbia, which actually has “Taxation Without Representation” as the plate logo. All of New England states covered, as well as both Carolinas.
Total Provinces: 2.

Second Trip: Friday, May 16th.
Where: New York City, then suburbs of Philadelphia.
Why: Mom and I were going to get our hair “done” by our hairdresser on 17th Street and then heading down to my sister’s for my nephew P--‘s 9th birthday that weekend. (My hair looks very good now, which distracts me from my major faults when I see my reflection.)
States/Provinces:

• Connecticut (lots)
  
• Illinois (2)
  
• Vermont (3)
  
• Ohio (4; I saw lots of Ohio plates during my weekend in Pennsylvania for some reason)
  
• Idaho (!)
  
• Maine (3)
  
• Massachusetts (20; I almost stopped counting them, there were so many)
  
• Ontario (6; if you’re coughing and have a fever, New Yorkers, now you know why)
  
• Québec (4)
  
• California
  
• Florida (11)
  
• Delaware (3)
  
• Georgia
  
• North Carolina
  
• Virginia (15; after a point, I started to wonder why so many Virginians were north of the Mason-Dixon)
  
• Rhode Island (2)
  
• Maryland (9)
  
• Michigan
  
• South Carolina (2)
  
• Washington, D.C.
  
• Colorado
  
• Wisconsin
  
• New Hampshire
  
  plus
  
  
• an Indiana pick-up with a Georgia trailer
  
• a Budget rental truck from Oklahoma
  
  and
  
  
• three U.S. Government plates
  
• a New York Assembly plate

Total States: 22 out of 50, not including the states in which we traveled, New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania, plus the non-state District of Columbia. All New England states represented, as well as both Carolinas. The original thirteen states covered, as well as all states which are on the Atlantic coast (please correct me if I’m missing any).
Total Provinces: Just the two. Canadians represent! (That shout-out was just for you, C--!)