Why was no one there?

The Capital Times

The advent of the Bush administration in January 2001 signaled the beginning of the end for FEMA. The newly appointed leadership of the agency showed little interest in its work or in the missions pursued by Witt. Then came the Sept. 11 attacks and the creation of the Department of Homeland Security. Soon FEMA was being absorbed into the 'homeland security borg.'This year it was announced that FEMA is to 'officially' lose the disaster preparedness function that it has had since its creation. The move is a death blow to an agency that was already on life support. In fact, FEMA employees have been directed not to become involved in disaster preparedness functions, since a new directorate (yet to be established) will have that mission.

First, the administration sent the very troops who are supposed to remain State-side to protect and aid the states in times of need, the National Guard, overseas, where they do not belong, no matter what B.S. the administration tries to feed us. Then we find out they'd dismantled the organization created to respond to disasters of this nature. I've read of it before; one of the justifications I read was private organizations, such as the Red Cross, would pick up the slack. However, there is no private organization which could respond the way a government group could, which would have access to local law enforcement and emergency aid services. And, please note, that the Red Cross cannot get to areas a government group, well, technically should be able to. So, we have nothing. People are stranded on highway meridians, no food, no water, no medical help, waiting for someone, anyone, to show up. Would FEMA have completely alleviated the problems? No. But they sure as hell would have made a difference.

From my friend, D--, who walks dogs for a living instead of selling screenplays

Pets Are a Part of Katrina Story: How To Help
By Steve Dale

The loss of human life and property as a result of Katrina is unspeakable. But at least one survivor still had something to hold onto, quite literally. On camera, as she held her soggy kitten close to her chest, she said, "No, I did not lose everything. I thank God for what is sparred," as she petted her cat, as tears streamed from her eyes.

The good news is that the Louisiana Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (LA SPCA) was smart enough to heed the warning, evacuating their 263 animals to Houston before the hurricane hit. (Houston proceeded to disperse the animals they couldn't handle to San Antonio and other nearby cities).

In New Orleans, the bad news is that thousands who evacuated leaving their pets behind, assuming they would return in a day or two. Those animals who did not drown are either now starving to death, or have escaped to try and scavenge for food. Prospects of reuniting to ever see their people appear grim. But humane organizations are hoping beyond hope to have the opportunity to get into the
city.

As one humane society spokesperson told me, "If we have the opportunity, dealing with pets will be easy compared to what officials have had to confront with at least some people."

The news isn't quite as dismal elsewhere in Louisiana, or in Mississippi or Alabama where there's a greater ability to find lost pets; and make-shift shelters and veterinary care through the American Veterinary Medical Association VMAT Team and volunteers from various other groups are gradually getting organized.

Many facilities sheltering people don't allow animals, quite literally forcing people to give up their animals. In fact, often times this is exactly why some people may not evacuate to a shelter in the first place - they don't want to leave their animals.

People need your help, and the following listing is most certainly is not meant to imply you shouldn't contribute to the Red Cross or other legitimate organizations which fund human assistance. But humane assistance is important too. Companion animals are family to many; entire families require assistance. If you are so inclined here are some verified and legitimate options:

American Kennel Club Canine Support and Relief Fund
www.akc.org/news/hurricane_katrina.cfm, or mail a donation to AKC Companion Animal Recovery Canine Support and Relief Fund, c/o American Kennel Club, 5580 Centerview Drive Raleigh, North Carolina 27606. You may also call 800-252-7894.

American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (2005 Disaster Relief Fund)
www.aspca.org/disaster, or call 212-876-7700, ext. 4516.

American Veterinary Medical Association Veterinary Medical Assistance Teams
www.avmf.org, or call (847) 925-8070. AVMF supports state and Veterinary Medical Assistance Team (VMAT) training and equipment for deployment in times of disaster. Make donation to AVMF AVMA Medical Assistance Team, 1931 N. Meacham Rd., Suite 100, Schaumburg, IL 60173

Cat Fanciers' Association
(Disaster Relief Fund and the newly formed CFA Gulf Sore Fund) www.cfainc.org, 732-528-7391. The Cat Fanciers' Association, Inc., P.O. Box 1005, Manasquan, NJ 08736-0805.

Code 3 Associates
(Code 3 Associates, Inc., is dedicated to both professional disaster response for animal rescue operations and to training individuals working in animal related law enforcement throughout the country. Also works with EARS - Emergency Animal Rescue Service - from the United Nations) www.code3associates.org, 303-772-7724; Code 3 Associates, P.O. Box 1128, Erie, CO 80516.

EARS
www.ears.org

Humane Society of the United States
www.hsus.org, or call 800-HUMANE-1. Or send check to, HSUS Disaster Relief Fund, 2100 L Street, NW, Washington, DC 20037.

Louisiana Veterinary Medical Association
http://www.lvma.org, or call 800- 524-2996. Make donations to the Dr. Walter J. Ernst Jr. Memorial Foundation, 8550 United Plaza Boulevard, Suite 1001, Baton Rouge, LA 70809, Make note on your check that the contribution is for "Hurricane Katrina Relief."

Noah's Wish
(an animal welfare organization dedicated exclusively to rescuing following disasters). http://www.noahswish.org/, or call
530-622-9313, or send a donation to Noah's Wish, P.O. Box 997 Placerville, CA 95667

North Shore Animal League
http://www.nsalamerica.org, or call 877-4SAVEPET.

Perhaps the organization most in need will be the Louisiana SPCA. It's likely their building has been destroyed - though this is unconfirmed. Their website has not been updated; their New Orleans address and phone no longer exist. It's unclear how to help them today. But at some juncture, there will be directives available through their website: www.la-spca.org/ Other affected city shelters will require help as well. A Mobile, AL, shelter site is at www.mobilespca.org

Marcella Durand contributed

==========

American Humane's Animal Emergency Services helping in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. http://www.americanhumane.org/disaster

Somebody actually made it funny

Check out this map to see why you are safe in about three square miles of the continental U.S.

What to do

I've had some issues with the way Red Cross runs its organization in the past and have done my best to avoid giving them donations as I do not trust them to use them appropriately. The list of suggested donation sites at FEMA is, apparently, almost entirely religious organizations (the only non-religious organization being the Corporation for National & Community Service), with Pat Robertson's group being among the top three. As you can imagine, I don't particularly trust that group, either.

However, I've been looking around and have read many good things about MercyCorps. If you've read otherwise, let me know. But I thought I'd forward that group on, as Oxfam, the organization to which I donated after the Asian tsunami this past winter, does not appear to be involved in this particular natural disaster. (Perhaps because it took place in one of the wealthiest nations in the world?)

I've wanted to help, but can't. I figured the half-a-reader I have might be in the same boat. I'm not telling you to give, but giving you an option which appears preferable to the Red Cross, which refuses homosexuals and has had major issues in overpaying its executives. Oh, and let donated blood rot. Nice one.

EDIT 9/3, 1:38A:
My mom pointed out the section of the Oxfam America which is set up specifically to help the victims of the hurricane. I've set up a link button for the site. Oxfam is a wonderful organization and I trust them thoroughly. I wish I had the funds to help, but I'm comforted to know that my mom had given, even though we're in the middle of ...well, those of you who know me know, or can e-mail and ask. I'm also comforted to know that my friends are as generous as my mother and are doing all they can do to help, too. (You guys are super-awesome. I know it's cheesey to say, but I'm proud to know you.)

[SNIPPED due to my inability to find the (reputable) sites with the supporting data and statistics and my being too lazy to look up the poverty numbers on government websites. Also, don't want to deal with the racist bullshit. Tra la!]

Fuck

Scientific American, October 2001, courtesy of Pharyngula:

New Orleans is a disaster waiting to happen. The city lies below sea level, in a bowl bordered by levees that fend off Lake Pontchartrain to the north and the Mississippi River to the south and west. And because of a damning confluence of factors, the city is sinking further, putting it at increasing flood risk after even minor storms. The low-lying Mississippi Delta, which buffers the city from the gulf, is also rapidly disappearing. A year from now another 25 to 30 square miles of delta marsh--an area the size of Manhattan--will have vanished. An acre disappears every 24 minutes. Each loss gives a storm surge a clearer path to wash over the delta and pour into the bowl, trapping one million people inside and another million in surrounding communities. Extensive evacuation would be impossible because the surging water would cut off the few escape routes. Scientists at Louisiana State University (L.S.U.), who have modeled hundreds of possible storm tracks on advanced computers, predict that more than 100,000 people could die. The body bags wouldn't go very far.

I've read this over and over again. Why didn't anyone do anything? They knew what was going to happen, but did nothing. Why? Why? How can you be human and think something like this is permissible?

Fats Domino Found in New Orleans - Yahoo! News

I read this and started to cry. I cried a little when I saw the video from Louisiana on CBS this afternoon, realized I wouldn't stop if I kept watching, and proceeded to try and clean up the living room. Giving myself something pointless to do is nice and distracting, as I'm far away and have the luxury of straightening piles of books I'm reading, have read, and will read.

I can't do anything to help. I can do absolutely nothing but be angry and horrified and feel sympathy, all of which is entirely useless. And I read about Fats Domino being found and I cry. I hate being so useless. I'm sorry I'm so fucking useless, New Orleans. I'm sorry I can't help you, Louisiana. I'm sorry I can't do anything, Texas. I'm sorry all I've done is make a slightly neater mess of my living room and write this, Mississippi. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, New Orleans. I'm so sorry.

Humor for you!

Click here for the funniest blonde joke ever.

Yay! Yay!

"Chasing Rainbows" is back! "Chasing Rainbows" is back! More Jinkies! Yay! *does little dance of webcomic fan-geekness*

P.S. Past pages are subscription-only, though. I pity you!

Leave sugar alone, you bastards

[BEGIN RANT/]
This is driving me crazy. I keep hearing people complain about "sugar content" of menu items. It's not the "sugar" content, folks. We hardly use actual cane sugar anymore. It's corn syrup. Corn syrup, which is cheap due to ridiculous farm subsidies which don't help actual farmers.

Go poke around on the web for a while, and you can see how the farm subsidies are helping corporate, and not family, farming. The cheap corn hurts family farms as it helps giant corporate farms. It also leads to foods which formally had no sugar content or actual cane sugar content to have the ingredients switched, so that cheap corn syrup is used. (I really wish the subsidies actually helped real farmers, as it's terrifically depressing to watch farming families up here struggle the way they do, and the farm stands are the only place up here to get decent vegetables.)

Ever had Coca-Cola outside of the States? You have it in France, and it's so much better. It's not as sticky-sweet and it's fizzier. Okay, so ET would hate it, as she prefers her soda, if she has to drink it, flattish and basically like swilling dark Karo Syrup. (;p) But I think most people who like the occasonal bottle of Coke would prefer to drink what they serve in Japan. Why do they use sugar in Japan and France? Because they don't have the corn (syrup) subsidies. (Unless, of course, they've changed the way Coke's made abroad, too. Which would suck. But then, I can still get my yummy-yummy peach water in Japan and Badoit in France, so, screw 'em.)

Then again, I'm big on tea. Darjeeling, lemon with one sugar. Other black teas, a splash of milk, one sugar. Green, ooloong, or white teas, a bit of honey. Or, if chilled, just the tea. I'm also fond of drinking cold water with a splash of pink grapefruit juice (the actual stuff, not the watered down crap with the--your guessed it!--corn syrup). And cranberry juice, 'cause I'm a crazy Yankee girl. But if I'm eating something like pizza, Coke's the only thing that keeps me from feeling sickish (I've a crazy-sensitive stomach but I love food...and hate Pepto-Abysmal, so I go with my great-grandmother's tummy cure of Coca-Cola). I just wish that Coke, and other beverage companies and food companies, offered the option of buying versions without corn syrup but instead using cane sugar. I'd definitely pay more for that option.

So, please, keep the corn syrup to the delicious, delicious pecan pie and fake blood, and stop yelling at sugar. We weren't so damned fat as a nation before, when we ate sugary foods instead of corn-syrupy foods. Go ask Bill Maher. He bitches about the same thing on his show, too.
[/END RANT]

All right. Comment about my freakish ignorance and horrendous grammar/spelling below. No, I didn't put in any links. You can Google for actual information as well as I can, I'm betting.

Please read this Op Ed

This Op Ed at The New York Times will require you to register (it's free) with the Times in order for you to read it, and the article will become unavaialble except for a fee in about a week's time, but I really think it's worth you reading it now. By "you," I mean people who are educated enough to understand scientific principles. It's also good for the "you"s who want to stand up to the growing, intellectually gangrenous concept of "intelligent design." Here's a little sample:

Grasping the Depth of Time as a First Step in Understanding Evolution - New York Times:

Evolution is a robust theory, in the scientific sense, that has been tested and confirmed again and again. Intelligent design is not a theory at all, as scientists understand the word, but a well-financed political and religious campaign to muddy science. Its basic proposition - the intervention of a designer, a k a God - cannot be tested. It has no evidence to offer, and its assumptions that humans were divinely created are the same as its conclusions. Its objections to evolution are based on syllogistic reasoning and a highly selective treatment of the physical evidence.

Accepting the fact of evolution does not necessarily mean discarding a personal faith in God. But accepting intelligent design means discarding science. Much has been made of a 2004 poll showing that some 45 percent of Americans believe that the Earth - and humans with it - was created as described in the book of Genesis, and within the past 10,000 years. This isn't a triumph of faith. It's a failure of education.

The purpose of the campaign for intelligent design is to deepen that failure. To present the arguments of intelligent design as part of a debate over evolution is nonsense. From the scientific perspective, there is no debate. But even the illusion of a debate is a sorry victory for antievolutionists, a public relations victory based, as so many have been in recent years, on ignorance and obfuscation.

The essential, but often well-disguised, purpose of intelligent design, is to preserve the myth of a separate, divine creation for humans in the belief that only that can explain who we are. But there is a destructive hubris, a fearful arrogance, in that myth.

Reasons I wish I were living closer to New York City

You know, other than the obvious, like the majority of my friends being there and the superiority of the food.

• Film Forum's Summer Samurai Festival
  August 19th through September 15
  You lucky bastards. I mean, samurai! The only thing cooler would be a ninja film festival, but I don't know if there are that many watchable films featuring ninjas.




• New York International Fringe Festival
  August 12th through 28th
  The next coolest fringe festival after the one in Edinburgh, which you can't afford to get to 'cause you're American and underpaid and overworked and your holidays are used up so you can go to the doctor or prep for Maggie's wedding. You poor, poor bastard. Except that you can still go to the New York Fringe Festival, which is more than I or a great number of your fellow North Americans can say, so stop yer whinging and go shell out the miniscule amount of cash which allows you to go attend the cool freak that is the fringe.

All that having been said, and on a completely different note, I cannot get Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" out of my head. You know, the song that Wayne and Garth lip-synched while driving the Gremlin along the main strip in the first Wayne's World movie. I can't tell if this is a result of the fever which came out of nowhere or if the fever is a result of this "ear worm," as the Germans call it. In any event, it's freaking me out. I fear my hair will start feathing itself soon.

Diagnosis

After making a request for people to comment to let me know if they're reading this blog, I've heard from ONE (1) reader. I've waited over a week and no one else has added anything.

This blog is officially in the critical ward. I.V. and such hooked up. Prognosis is poor.

My mother's childhood memory

My mother's earliest memories are of rationing. The little coupons you had to have in order to get gas, butter, sugar. The crushing and collection of steel cans. She remembers her uncles returning from the war. No one in her family died. Surprising, considering how many brothers my grandmother and grandfather each had. Both of my grandparents were air wardens. They lived near the Saint Lawrence, and a major river route like that was considered a vulnerability, so citizens were selected to keep watch at home.

My mother remembers these things like I remember holding Beatrix Potter books in my lap and trying to read them (in spite of being just a little too young to read) while sitting in the branches of a weeping willow. There was a time when every citizen made sacrifices when our nation was at war, when every citizen was involved. When a grandmother collected steel cans from the neighborhood with the help of her tiny granddaughter.

I heard on NPR that one planned anniversary in New York City was to be kissing, hundreds of people gathered together to kiss at the same time to celebrate the announcement of the end of the last world war. I really liked that.

The Writer's Almanac - August 14, 2005:

Today is the 60th anniversary of the day on which President Harry Truman announced that the Second World War had come to an end. You might argue that more human beings were happy on this day in 1945 than on any other day in history.

It was the worst war in history. An estimated 60 million people died; about two-thirds of them were civilians. In the United States, the war had been going on for three years and eight months. About one in every eight Americans served in the war—more than 16 million American soldiers. Virtually every American family had at least one member overseas. With 400,000 Americans killed, most families knew somebody who had died in the war, and the most American casualties had come in the last year of the war.

Most Americans had believed that the war was far from over. The first few battles on Japanese islands had been some of the bloodiest battles of the war. Military analysts were projecting horrific losses, casualty estimates in the hundreds of thousands. But after the atomic bombs were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the Japanese suddenly accepted terms of complete surrender. And the announcement was made on this day at about 7:00 p.m. The newswires carried the headline, "Japan Surrenders."

There were spontaneous celebrations and parades in every major city in America. In New York City, more than a million people filled the street, overflowing Times Square, the crowd stretching from 40th all the way up to 52nd streets. Factories blew their whistles. Air raid sirens went off. Ships and trains and cars honked their horns. Churches tolled their bells.

Americans had been living under strict food and gas rationing, and once the news arrived, people went to the gas stations, filled up their cars and went riding around for the fun of it. Throughout the war, people had tried to keep their lights off after dark to save energy, but on this night, people turned on their lights and left them on all night. Some children who'd grown up during the war saw the streets lit up with lights for the first time.

And one thing that commentators noticed at the time was that nobody shouted, "We've won the war!" or anything about triumph. They simply shouted, "The war is over!"

The most famous photograph of that day in 1945 showed a sailor in Times Square kissing a nurse in a white uniform. The nurse's name was Edith Shain. She later said, "When I was kissed, I closed my eyes. I didn't look at him. It was a startling thing. But I thought, this man had fought the war for all of us." The photograph of the sailor and the nurse was the cover of LIFE magazine that next week and that photo has been reprinted thousands of times.

Poem of the day

The Writer's Almanac:
Poem: "Night Flight" by Marjorie Saiser, from Lost in Seward County. c. The Backwaters Press.

Night Flight

From 18F I see only the wing,
see only metal and rivets and painted black arrows
and partially worn-off letters saying things like NO STEP.
From 18F, or anywhere on this plane,
I could see, if I want to, the video.
I could, evidently, watch ads for Buzz Lightyear, the series.
But I am watching us, the community
of 1090 to Denver. We are facing forward
as though in a tunnel or tube,
dots of light in a row above our heads.
We are ranks of readers, sleepers.

or we are the cast of Our Town;
we are cast as the dear departed,
sitting onstage on our chairs-supposed to be graves—
looking straight ahead, talking among ourselves,
never looking at Emily, the living,
when she comes to visit the cemetery.
We are not turning toward Emily;

we are numbers and letters facing forward.
From 18F I see we are regular in our posture,
regular in our habits.

In my row we are raising similar cups from similar trays,
oddly comforting:
now this head, now that one, lowers to drink.
One by one we sip our mutual nectar;
one by one we set it down.

Health check

Okay. Just wondering. Have to make this check every once in a while, just to reassure myself that I'm not just writing to myself here.

Is anyone still reading this blog? By "anyone," I mean my friends. Seeing as the commenting now works (as proved by a complete stranger in the last post), anyone who does read this can, in fact, post a comment to the effect of "I do!" or something equally creative and time-consuming.

Sorry, that was obnoxious. I'm tired and have eaten way, way too many cookies today. Made a batch of chocolate chip cookies (which my mother hated) and a batch of molases drop cookies (which my mother hated).

(My mother is impossible to please if you're not my brother. He uses the exact same recipies, with the exact same results, and she'll praise his mad bakin' skillz to the high heavens. Me? Everything I bake is shit. Unless my nephews or siblings eat them. Then I'm a good baker. ... Okay, enough of this whining.)

Anyway, please post and let me know you're lurking. Someone besides me comes here, 'cause I get a whole 2/10 on the Google bar ranking system.

This reminds me of Mark

From The Writer's Almanac - August 9, 2005:

It was on this day in 378 A.D., the Romans were routed by the Visigoths at the Battle of Adrianople, a victory of barbarian horsemen over Roman infantry. It was one of the most decisive battles in what is now the nation of Turkey. Two-thirds of the Roman army, 40,000 men, including Emperor Valens himself, were overrun and slaughtered by the Visigoths which set the stage for the fall of the Roman Empire.

Once upon a time, little emo, MTV actually played music videosI've got soul, but I'm not a soldier

Remember when MTV showed (uninterrupted) videos all day long, instead of only during the ghettoized hours of something like 3AM-6AM?

I, on a whim, taped one of the buttcrack-of-dawn showings and have spent the week watching a couple videos here, another there.

I have come to the following conclusions upon viewing the Gwen Stefani video for "Cool:"

• her current persona is a cuter version of early-90s Madonna, but differs from early-90s Madonna in that Stefani actually has a singing voice and is, as I mentioned earlier in this run-on sentence, much cuter;


• her music has become very boring since she went solo;


• while very teen-boy-fantasy as a platinum blonde, I think she looks much, much prettier as a brunette.

Also, I finally (finally!) saw a Gorillaz video and have discovered I love their videos as much as I like their music. w007 and so forth for animated videos. (The bassist had me laughing my arse off at the end, and I so love the way the lead gorilla swung his legs while he played guitar.) I didn't even mind that it ran twice in an hour, in spite of what I know are hundreds, if not thousands of other videos I know they could play in that time slot. (I guess MTV's not really into that whole "variety" thing. Many other videos were replayed, ad nauseum.) I want the Gorillaz to be featured in a video game with Donkey Kong and his cohorts. Gorillaz v. DK! of summat like. That would be awesome.

Moving on, MTV's programmers appear to be in love with My Chemical Romance's "Helena" video, which is actually rather boring, considering what they could have done with the song. It has its moments, but it looks like it was scripted/choreographed by the angsty emo teens who make up a large portion of My Chemical Romance's listening audience. That said, I want one of those nifty black umbrellas with the red interior. So emo/goth! Hee!

"Pretty" emo boys make me wish I could point a wand at the screen and say, "Dance, little emo boy, dance!" and shoot nasty curses at their feet. "Dance for me! muhahahahaha!" They're hysterical, honestly. *laughs at the emo/angst* ... This is completely hypocritical of me, as I was the emo-est of all throughout my teen years and for a goodly portion of my life after that. (I wish I were as good at applying eyeliner as emo boys are.)

I'm completely sick of the "cute/sexy" girl/boy bands where they think they can get away with boring-ass music because the performers are "teh sexx!1!!" Ugh. Enough already. There's enough shitty music out there. Just have them do Playboy/-girl spreads and the pay-per-view porn videos and leave the music alone.

Jessica Simpson is now channeling Britney Spears's unmarried, thin self in her new video. The untalented attempting to show talent by mimicking the untalented. Fascinating. Furthermore, as of this video, it's official that Willie Nelson has not even one proton of self-respect left. Seriously. Someone should have shot him in the head long before he reached this nadir in his "career."

In an entirely different genre, Missy Elliot kicks ass. Holy crap, I so very wish I could dance like that. (I'm so fecking white. *sobs*) The choreographer for her video "Lose Control" needs to take the My Chemical Romance choreographer aside and give the emo some pointers re: rhythm. If Shakira's fucktard greased-up boobie-pop "dancing" wins out over "Loser Control" for best dancing at the VMAs, I'll know Shakira really has turned tricks to make her way to the "top." (However, I can't figure out the why for the last minute or so of Missy Elliot's video. Maybe it's 'cause I'm suburban white girl?)

And, HOLY FUCK! BOYZ N DA HOOD! GAH! *has fallen into timewarp and iz ded* (I can't help but snicker at "P Diddy." That's one man who is secure in his masculinity if he's willing to own up to that nickname.) ... Oh, wait. No, it's some sort of bullshit, "gangsta" BNDH, not the real one. How... um, sad?

Finally, remember when male rappers had a sense of humor about themselves, could rap in actual English, and didn't have to feature themselves on the street corner holding scantily-clad "'hos" and large wads of cash in their videos in order to be considered legitimate rappers? When their political rants were actual cogent and firey and topical? Well, I do. *sighs and lights a candle for the (degenerated state of) rap* It's all the fault of asshat, suburban white boys. Those are the ones who are buying "gangsta" rap, goddamit. They've fucked up rap for the rest of us. Grr!

BWA-fuckin'-HA HA HA

Yeah, yeah, old news. But, still, quoth the immortal Homer Simpson: "Mmm, sacrilicious!"

YOUR OWN PERSONAL JESUS TOAST.

The paraphrasing of an old Depeche Mode song title warmed the cockles of my heart.

EDIT: 2:09PM
I didn't think it could get better...

...and yet, it can. Also, this article features my new favorite fake word, crapitalism. Yay!

Admin 1, Executive 0

I enjoyed this little article so much, I felt the need to share it with you, my dear readers, even though it is nealy two months old.

CNN.com - Ketchup stain sparks e-mail flurry

"I apologize again for accidentally getting a few splashes of ketchup on your trousers. Obviously your financial need as a senior associate is greater than mine as a mere secretary."

She wrote that she had told various partners, lawyers and trainees about his e-mail and they had offered to "do a collection" to raise the cash.

"I however declined their kind offer but should you feel the urgent need for the £4, it will be on my desk this afternoon."

Hockey is the devil's sport

I was slowly making my way through the Sports section of Monday's New York Times when I came across the last section of sports-related headlines on the last page, in a little ghetto-for-off-season-sports-reporting box.

HOCKEY
Devils Keep 10 Players

[three paragraphs about one team which I didn't read because the following lead to a tiny paragraph about another team was in all-caps and bold]

SATAN BECOMES FREE AGENT

Honestly. I shit you not. I wish ... wait. When Mom's computer is up and running, I'll scan it in and post it here so you can see.

Mom says I should submit it to David Letterman or Jon Stewart. Somehow, I don't think they'll laugh as hard at it as I did.

Happy birthday to Harry's other mother

The Writer's Almanac - JULY 31, 2005

It's the birthday of the novelist J.K. (Joanne Kathleen) Rowling, born in Chipping Sodbury, England (1966). She's the creator of Harry Potter, who, in the first book about him, is an orphan forced to live with his aunt and uncle, Petunia and Vernon Dursley at Number Four, Privet Drive. He sleeps in a cupboard under the stairs. For the first ten years of his life, he's believed that his parents were killed in a car accident. But on his eleventh birthday, he learns that they were wizards and that they were murdered by a man named Lord Voldemort, who is trying to take over the world. The Harry Potter books follow Harry as he attends Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and learns how to use magic and tries to avenge his parents' death.

J.K. Rowling grew up in the suburbs of Bristol, England. She was telling stories when she was a little kid. She said, 'The first story I ever wrote down was about a rabbit called Rabbit. He got the measles and was visited by his friends ... Ever since Rabbit, I have wanted to be a writer, although I rarely told anyone so.'

She set out to be a secretary, learned French so she could get a job as a bilingual secretary, but she found that she hated office work. Instead of taking notes in meetings, she daydreamed and wrote possible names of fictional characters in the margins of her notebooks.

She was in her mid 20s when she took a four-hour trip by train across England, and the train stopped somewhere between Manchester and London. Rowling looked out at a field of cows and suddenly got the idea for a story about a boy who goes to a school for wizardry. She said, 'Harry Potter just strolled into my head fully formed.' She liked that it was a story about a boy who was powerless in the ordinary world but who gets to travel to a place where his power would be almost limitless. By the time the train trip was over, she had already invented most of the characters that would appear in the Harry Potter books.

She worked on the first one for about four years, during which time she got married, had a daughter, got divorced, and was living in Edinburgh as a single mother. She had to live on public assistance to finish the book. It came out in America in 1998, Harry Potter and the [Sorcerer'sPhilosopher's] Stone, and J.K. Rowling became one of the best-selling authors of all time.

My Day-saint: Mary Magdelene

Catholic Online - Saints & Angels - St. Mary Magdelene

If I ever go crazy and decide to go through Confirmation (next step after where I left off with First Communion), when I'd become a "real" Catholic (rather like Pinocchio became a real boy) and have to take on a new name, I'd totally take on the name Mary Magdelene.

No, Maggie, not because you are awesome, but because it would be the very last bit of my spine making show.

Dude. You heard what those gnostic-types say? w00t and hollah for Mary Magdelene!

(Ignore the bland blandness of the Catholic site. Google her. Also under Mary Magdalene. She rocked, in a Christiany, female, saint-like way, which means easy listening/"adult contemporary", but is better than the elevator music a lot of the others emit.)

Well, dagnabbit

I've just looked at my blog using Apple's Safari, and the layout is not working at all. It works just jim-dandy in IE... and (phew) Firefox, but not Safari. And I don't know why, dang it. Why? Why?

Why, Sugar Kat? It's 'cause the Internet HATES you. The whole damned thing just loathes your dumb white ass. That's why. Bitch.

Also, no one's reading this anymore. I can tell. I'm psychic that way. Yes, I'm psychic in a completely useless way. I can't tell you who's going to win the Preakness or what the outcome of the continuing wars in Afghanistan and/or Iraq will be, but I can tell no one is reading this. I'm freaking Trelawney, only with the Internet. Which hates me.

Also, I got Maggie & Ryan's invite and IT'S SOOOO PURTY! And I'm thinking, Yay! Maggie and Ryan are getting hitched! Yay! I hafta get 'em presents! Groovy, groovy presents. ...Wait. Money. Job. Crap. But, PRESENTS! They must have fantabulous presents. ...Hotel? Fuck! Hotel! Augh! But, dammit, I am going, and I'm bringing presents. I may have to drive back home at 3 in the morning (three hour drive), but, dammit, I'm going, and I'm bringing presents. I'll probably be wearing jeans, as I've nada to wear, but I'll hide behind a pillar or something. Drive. I have to get a driver's license. Me, driving. Gah. That's just freakin' terrifyin'. Clear the roads, people. Sugar Kat's behind the wheel.

But I can write all that and be fine 'cause no one's reading this so no one will know and I can freak all I want about how the hell I'm going to pay for it and no one will know. Or care, really. And there you go.

And the Internet still hates me.

"I did not know that. Did you know that? I did not know that."

The Writer's Almanac - JULY 27, 2005

It was on this day in 1940 that Bugs Bunny made his debut in a cartoon called 'A Wild Hare.' Warner Brothers' writers and animators set out to make a rabbit who would be the epitome of cool. They modeled bugs on Groucho Marx with a carrot instead of a cigar. Mel Blanc gave him a Brooklyn accent. He was a nonchalant rabbit who chewed on his carrot in the face of all of his enemies and he was famous for the line, 'What's up, doc?' which he used in that first cartoon when he met Elmer Fudd who was hunting rabbits.

As America entered World War II, Bugs Bunny became the most popular cartoon character in America, always defeating his enemies through sheer cleverness, oftentimes as a quick change artist.

*ahem*

The Writer's Almanac - JULY 26, 2005

It's the birthday of the writer Aldous Huxley, born in Surrey, England (1894), best known as the author of the novel Brave New World, about a future in which genetically engineered people take drugs to keep them happy, have sex all the time, and never fall in love.

Tasty, if time-consuming

Lemon-Flaxseed Loaf Cake

I used another tablespoon of lemon juice in the cake itself as well, which turned out quite nicely and required no extra baking time.

From "The Writer's Almanac"

The Writer's Almanac - JULY 13, 2005

It's the birthday of poet John Clare, born in Nottinghamshire, England (1793). He may be the poorest person ever to become a major writer in English literature. His father was a peasant farmer. The family often had to live off the proceeds from a single apple tree in their yard. John Clare went to the village school between the ages of five and eleven. He learned to read and write and decided he wanted to write poetry.

He had to support himself as a farm laborer. Malnutrition had stunted his growth. He was never more than five feet tall, so he couldn't do heavy work. He mostly weeded and stacked hay bales and looked after animals. He couldn't afford to buy paper, so he made his own out of birch bark and made his own ink as well. Some of his poems were written on old envelopes.

Other romantic poets such as Wordsworth and Keats were writing nature poetry, but they wrote about nature as a metaphor for something, whereas John Clare always tried to write about nature as it was, the thing itself.

His first book came out in 1820. The fact that he was a peasant helped to make the book a best-seller. But within a few years there was a bank crash, and there was a recession in England. His books sold fewer and fewer copies, and he moved back to the farm.

John Clare wrote, 'I live here among the ignorant like a lost man ... they hardly dare talk in my company for fear I should mention them in my writings.' He began to suffer from a psychiatric disorder. His behavior grew more and more erratic. He began to see things, spirits and demons. He was committed to an asylum where he forgot who he was. At some points he thought he was Lord Byron and wrote some poems in Byron's style. He escaped from the asylum at one point but was returned and lived there for the rest of his life.

John Clare wrote about 3,500 poems of which only 400 were published in his lifetime, and his great importance as an English poet has only become clear in the last few decades.

View from over there

And back to what happened. I can tell this is an event which happened far away because I have the luxury of going back to fluffy thoughts not long after hearing about the attacks on London.

Ian McEwan wrote an Op-Ed piece for The New York Times which illustrates very clearly one of hte major differences between 7/7 and 9/11: London's been brutally attacked before. Stiff uppper lip indeed.

Another difference? They were as prepared as a city can be for an attack. Can't even say that about New York now.

The Surprise We Expected - New York Times

By IAN MCEWAN
Published: July 8, 2005
copyright The New York Times Corporation

London

[...]

The police were fanning out through Bloomsbury, closing streets at both ends even as you were halfway down them. The machinery of state, a great Leviathan, certain of its authority, moved with balletic coordination. Those rehearsals for a multiple terrorist attack underground were paying off.

In fact, now the disaster was upon us, it had an air of weary inevitability, and it looked familiar, as though it happened long ago. In the drizzle and dim light, the police lines, the emergency vehicles, the silent passers-by appeared as though in an old newsreel film in black and white. The news of the successful Olympic bid was more surprising than this. How could we have forgotten that this was always going to happen?

The mood on the streets was of numb acceptance, or strange calm. People obediently shuffled this way and that, directed round road blocks by a whole new citizens' army of 'support' officials - like air raid wardens from the last war. A man in a suit pulled a fluorescent jacket out of his briefcase and began directing traffic with snappy expertise. A woman, with blood covering her face and neck, who had come from the Russell Square tube station, briskly refused offers of help and said she had to get to work. Groups gathered impassively in the road, among the gridlocked traffic, listening through open windows to car radios.

On television, the news programs were having trouble finding the images to match the awfulness of the event. But this was not, or not yet, a public spectacle like New York or Madrid. The nightmare was happening far below our feet. Everyone knew that if the force that mangled the bus in Tavistock Square was contained within the walls of a tunnel, the human cost would be high, and the rescue appallingly difficult.

Down the far end of a closed-off street we saw emergency workers being helped into breathing equipment. We could only guess at the hell to which they must descend, and no one seemed to want to talk about it.

In Auden's famous poem, 'Musée des Beaux Arts,' the tragedy of Icarus falling from the sky is accompanied by life simply refusing to be disrupted. A plowman goes about his work, a ship 'sailed calmly on,' dogs keep on with 'their doggy life.'

In London yesterday, where crowds fumbling with mobile phones tried to find unimpeded ways across the city, there was much evidence of the truth of Auden's insight. While rescue workers searched for survivors and the dead in the smoke-filled blackness below, at pavement level men were loading vans, a woman sold umbrellas in her usual patch, the lunchtime sandwich makers were hard at work.

It is unlikely that London will claim to have been transformed in an instant, to have lost its innocence in the course of a morning. It is hard to knock a huge city like this off its course. It has survived many attacks in the past.

[...]

You really should try and read the whole thing, which is well written, I think. Well, for the Op-Ed page of the Times.

Lighter-hearted fare, 'cause I'm a callous shit

Please check out the poem here: Apologies to William Blake, as English majors and those who like English and have a general awareness of pop culture might find it as amusing as I do.

I think this may be the best way to deal with all of this shit

I think perhaps I and a portion of the rest of the world shall go and sample some of these brain-blasting Bum Wines in hopes that the resulting brain damage will wipe out our ability to think on any level above that of a retarded cactus. Thinking hurts.

BWA HA HA HA HA

From metaquotes:
IF YOU DON'T HAVE GAY SEX, THE TERRORISTS WIN.
-LJ user tortugax

BBC NEWS | UK | London bombings toll rises to 37

The Guardian: 37 dead in London blast

The Metropolitan police confirmed 35 deaths in the three tube blasts, and two further fatalities on a double-decker bus gutted by a bomb. The London ambulance service said it had treated 45 people with serious or critical injuries, including burns and amputations, and another 300 people with minor injuries. London hospitals reported treating hundreds of wounded. Police said the overall number of wounded was as high as 700.

Books, books, books

I am typing up a list of books owned. I'm doing it using Excel, in the hopes that I can sort it later under the different categories, such as whether or not it's YA, children's, manga, fiction, nonfiction, published before 1983, etc. When I am done, I will start on my CDs, then my DVDs.

I tried to make a sortable Excel list of my books in the past, but that computer sucked and I eventually gave up after the first 125 books or so.

I am including manga, as they take up space on my shelves, or would if I'd any shelf space left which they could take up. As it is, books are lying in stacks around my room in a semi-organized fashion.

I still want more books, though. Who knows how long these will last me.

Eventually, I'll show the list with manga sorted out seperately, as they don't quite qualify as book books. Nor do the graphic novels, which will also be sorted out.

I just wish I were smart enough to make some easier way to do this. Excel lists. There has to be something more graceful I could do. Guess I'm not geek enough. Geek's the new black, don't you know. I'm sort of khaki, which is definitely not the new pink.

That should be the name of my blog. Definitely Not The New Pink. Or the name of my band. My imaginary band, which is filled with imaginary people. We rock out in a completely imaginary yet awesome way.

Fucktard Frat Boy Sets Self On Fire While Drinking

Video evidence, as placed on friend's LJ.

Enjoy!

Ha! I knew this was going to happen before they did

Okay, completely fluffy post today. Apparently, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner Tie[d] the Knot. "Okay," you say, "why should I give a shit?"

Um, well, you shouldn't. It doesn't impact upon your life in any way I can think of. They're just actors, for pete's sake. Still, I thought the following was kinda cool in a completely geeky, Entertainment Tonight kind of way.

I watch this show that few other people watch called Dinner For Five on IFC. It's interesting, 'cause it tends to have more unfiltered conversation between folks in the film industry than I usually see. You hear more about the actual making of films, rather than just pumping up whatever project is at hand. A ways back, I saw an episode with Colin Farrell, Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, Kevin Smith, and the host, Jon Favreau. They talked some about Daredevil, some about comic books, some about giant foreheads, some about kicking ass and being trained to do so. It was fun and silly.

But one thing I couldn't help but notice was how Garner looked at Affleck. She was GLOWING. Absolutely smitten. I don't think she knew how she felt, entirely, or maybe she wouldn't have been so obvious. Affleck was still with J-Lo at the time, and she, I think, was with someone else. I don't think hanky-panky went on on the set. But she definitely had a big, fat crush on the boy. She defended him even to himself. (Lots of self-depricating humor at that table, though Affleck still came off a bit full of himself.) It was really cute.

Anyway, I could tell, by watching this show on cable which almost no one else watches, that they were going to be something at some point, at least if Garner had anything to do with it.

She really was very cute, all twitter-paited like that.

Like you care. Oh, fine. Go read a book or something. Leave me to my moment of horn-tooting.

Secret of Darth Vader's ridiculous costume REVEALED!

Labels for Buttons

And now we return to my trivial life

I hate mosquitoes SO VERY MUCH!

I'm frickin' INDOORS and they are EATING ME ALIVE.

Okay, so they're not really eating me, but instead injecting me with weird crap to make their babies happy while they gestate under my skin. Or some such shit. Whatever. I hate them. Hate.

Not as much as I hate cockroaches, though. God, I hate cockroaches.

"Body and Soul: The death of Dilawar"

There are some things I cannot let myself think about. Body and Soul: The death of Dilawar is one of them. I read about them, because it's important for me to know what the representatives of my nation are doing. The people who do these things represent me, and therefore what they do reflects upon me. In a distant way, I am responsible for it. So, when innocent men are beaten to death, I'm responsible. Same as when retarded people are put to death here in the States. If I were a better citizen, this wouldn't happen. But it does. And I can't function if I think about that.

This is why these things happen, of course. Most people can't function if they actually sit down and think it through. Okay, there are probably people who enjoy the thought of innocent blood on their hands. I don't like to think about those people, either. It's too hard. It's too heavy a weight. It's easier to worry about what the fuck I'm going to do about paying these bills, all of which are overdue and accruing fees and ruining my credit rating. That's insurmountable, but it doesn't result in fucking up anyone's life but my own. No one dies. No one's in pain.

There are people who think no one should think about these things, the torture, the death by torture, that it's blown out of proportion. Me, I got an A in Ethics. I have a pretty good idea of Right and Wrong. This is something which bothers me. As an American. As a Christian. As a human fucking being. This torture doesn't stop terrorism. It doesn't get decent information. Anyone will confess anything under torture: look at the witch trials of Europe. Who the fuck believes there were actual witches who confessed under torture then? Yet somehow, this time, we got the torture right? Somehow, this time, it's okay when innocents die because of it? When the fuck are we going to learn? If we're a Christian nation, why the hell are we acting against the tenets of Christ Himself? Is this really what Jesus would do? I'm having a serious moral problem here. What the hell is a voiceless American supposed to do? Rant on her fucking blog? Even those who read it, all 0.5 of them, don't give a shit that some chick is bothered by her country's rapid moral descent. (Please, please tell me there was a time we wouldn't have done this. Please let me believe there was a time when my country wouldn't even have done this.)

I can't handle this. I'm going to go watch some anime, surf for jobs, edit my resume, and pretend none of this is happening, like a good little American. God help us.

And a fangirl weeps

MoMA.org | Exhibitions Schedule | Film & Media | 2005 | Hayao Miyazaki and Isao Takahata: Masters of Animation

*looks over dates*

*looks at chances of seeing any of the films left*

*sits in corner and pouts*

goddammitgoddammitgoddammit

Murakami

There's a Takashi Murakami-curated exhibition at the Japan Society. The head of the East Asian Studies Department told me about a couple of months ago, but I forgot about it until ET brought it up.

Below's a sample of Murakami's work. It's entitled 2000 Peter Norton Family Christmas Project. It's sitting in the Humanities Building at U-Albany in a crappy case next to the Writing Center. It's like they couldn't think of a place to put the various art projects the Peter Norton Family donated, so they stuck them in this completely random and unprotected spot.

Sorry for the blurriness. I took them on museum setting to avoid the flash reflecting off of the case and couldn't really prop the camera appropriately to avoid movement.


Base of piece (that's a working CD)


View of CD


View of base


View of top of piece (mirror shows side facing wall)

Commenting

I give up on Blogger commenting, as no one has posted a comment in it. I'm assuming from that that you can't.

I don't know why the Enetation commenting prompt isn't showing. I'll try to fix that tomorrow, if I can. I really wish I knew HTML....

Until I get my commenting up and running, please use whatever e-mail address you have for me. Or comment on my LJ. Which is friends-only, so you have to have an LJ account, which is a pain in the ass. Ah, well. I'm going to sleep.

EDIT 6/22: I can't figure it out. According to Enetation, the code's fine. According to what I can find on Blogger, the code's fine. It's still not showing up and I still can't tell why. Sorry. E-mail me instead, I guess. (See the column to the right. Down a ways.)

*creak*

I get older by the nanosecond.

And introducing the new cat

This is Lucy. Full name is Lucy-fur. Please forgive, Sam, Maggie. I didn't realize where I got the idea of naming her that until after Mom approved of the name. If it makes you feel any better, we usually call her Tall Girl, as she's freakin' huge. Apparently she's going to get bigger, as she's only about a year-and-a-half old and won't reach full growth until she's three. Giant cat.

If you're wondering about the pattern, she's tortie-point, which means the "points" (ears, face, paws, tail) are tortoise-shell-colored. The vet we got her from says she's part himalayan, part siamese. She has the siamese eyes and jumps like a siamese and is nearly as vocal as a siamese (you talk to her and she talks back...it's so cute!). But after looking over breeder sites, Mom and I think she may be Balinese instead, due to head shape, fur length, and leg proportions. Then again, her tail's too long, and her eyes are that color.... Maybe the vet's right.

She likes to play a lot. This is the youngest cat I've ever owned. Usually by the time my family gets a cat, it's grown past the "Let's play!" stage and is more settled into its adult cat ways. It's very amusing to watch a cat so big act like a kitten. She also has this funny tendency to throw herself down, thump! It's a bit like how a teenager going through growth spurts will throw his/herself down on chairs and sofas, thump!, in order to cover up physical awkwardness.

Her previous owners were an old woman with Alzheimer's and a woman with kidney failure. She spent the majority of her young like with the Alzheimer's patient. She's a little odd in her behavior, and Mom and I have come to the conclusion that the Alzheimer's patient may have abused her (without really understanding what she was doing). It's the way Lucy responds to people trying to touch her. She's affectionate and wants to be pet, but has this fear of being touched she doesn't know how to reconcile with her desire to be pet. She's very young, though, so Mom and I think we can help her deal with this weirdness and be more her silly, sweet Lucy-fur self.

B'day

I'm unemployed and in pretty damned severe debt. So, I'm dropping hints to family and such via the internets.

In other words, if you love me, or at least would like me to stop whining, you might consider buying me something from the following for my upcoming birthday (list to be updated as I find links/remember stuff):

Stuff:

• Mr. Period tee


• Kyo Sohma black knit cap


• Furuba courier bag — Kyo face


• CLAMP no kiseki vol. 1


• CLAMP no Kiseki vol. 2


Manga (English-language, please!):

• Bleach by Kubo Taito, vol. 1-5, 7


• Boys Over Flowers by Yoko Kamio, vol. 12


• Ceres by Yû Watase, vol. 11


• Doll by Mitsukazu Mihara, vol. 5


• Erica Sakurazawa: Angel Nest, Aromatic Bitters, Between the Sheets, The Rules of Love, Nothing But Loving You


• From Far Away by Kyoko Hikawa, vol. 5


• Fruits Basket by Natsuki Takaya, vol. 1-4, 9—10


• Fushigi Yûgi by Yû Watase, vol. 15


• InuYasha by Rumiko Takahashi, vol. 22


• Kare Kano by Masami Tsuda, vol. 16


• Ranma 1/2 by Rumiko Takahashi, vol. 30


• Tramps Like Us by Yayoi Ogawa, vol. 1-5


• TsubasaL Resevoir Chronicle by CLAMP, vol. 5


• The Wallflower by Tomoko Hayakawa, vol. 4


• X/1999 by CLAMP, vol. 18 ("Inversion")


• xxxHolid by CLAMP, vol. 5

Um, yeah. I'm tired, so just the one link for now. Believe me, dear siblings, this list shall grow to epic proportions...but shall still be loads shorter than my Amazon.com wishlist...which you can also check out. Check out also. Whatever.

That said, paying off a couple of months of my bills wouldn't hurt, either.

EDIT 6/22: as you can see, there's an anime/manga theme.

Testing?

Could you guys do me a favor and post comments to let me know if you can do so, even without Blogger accounts? Otherwise.... *slams head into desk*

For the octopuses

The Happy Octopus, circa October, 2004.

the (mis)adventures of little trooper sugar kat: the interweb doth mock the little trooper at every turn!

My columns are broken. I don't know why they are broken, they just are.

Well, no. That's not true. They were working perfectly fine before I added the Blogger commenting code. Now they are messed up and not columning. Why are they not columning? I do not know. I don't know HTML. I'm an idiot.

Why, why won't you be all columny for me, my dear blog columns? Wherefore dost thou stack one upon the other, rather than being conveniently arranged as before, side by side? Why dost thou mess with my tired head? Why won't this code work like it's supposed to? It looks like there are columns in there, but you defy all columny coding and persist in your one-column state.

You do break my heart, not-columny columns of blog. There are but two of you, yet you do defy me at every turn. I know not what to do. I weep. I weep bitter, stupid, non-computer-geek tears. This thwarting by simple blog columns in their persistent state of non-columnness is perfect illustration of why I will never obtain a good-paying job.

Ah, columns. You show my true weakness. I am but a poseur, you say in your constant defiance of my pathetic attempts at corrective code. I do not belong. Perhaps you are right, blog columns, but I do so wish you would not be so rude as to illustrate my n00bitity so publicly.

EDIT 2:26 AM: I also just noticed that the one main column narrows to lead into the second column which is currently refusing to be a second column. Why? Why, why, why? I cannot see what the problem is. But then, it's like trying to catch a grammatical error when you don't even know the vocabulary. Wah. Why won't you be fixed easily, dear columns of blog? Why do you mock me so?

EDIT 2:45 AM: Ah! They are columns once more! ... I have no idea what I did.

Yet the first column stubborrnly persists in terminating prematurely at the close of the second column. Why? Why does it behave in such an obstinant manner?

And what the hell happened to my ability to spell words in English?

Frikkin' frakkin' Enetation

My commenting has disappeared. I don't know why.

I'm starting up Blogger commenting, so you guys can respond to the previous post. Um, so, please respond to the previous post.

Unless Blogger commenting doesn't work. In that case, e-mail me.


EDIT 7:29 PM: It's not working. I don't know why. I suck at this. But then, Blogger and Enetation suck at customer service. Then again, I don't pay for either.

EDIT 8:05PM: Okay, so it's working now. It's ugly, though. Bleh-phooie. But it's working. So, uh, please respond to that previous post. Doumo!

Advice?

My graduation present from my parents/big sister E-- is to be an Apple laptop. They told me to decide which one. I really don't know, though, which I should get, or what I should get with it. Any of you have any advice (other than get a PC as I don't want a PC)?

Kingdom of Heaven

I honestly wonder what movie the critics I've read saw. Did they actually bother to watch the film, or were they text-messaging someone and occasionally taking notes based on whatever caught their eye? Were they there with a large collection of annoying Orlando Bloom fans ranging in age from 12 to 22 and screaming their heads off at inappropriate intervals, declaring for all the theater to hear that they were willing to give up their bodies for this young man they don't know at all, squealing in jealousy every time Nathalie Cox or Liam Neeson or David Thewlis touched the boy?

This was not the film the reviewers of The New York Times or The New Yorker described. It is flawed, yes. It feels as though it were severely edited down from a much longer film in which relationships and politics were given time to develop. Yet there is still enough for a semi-intelligent viewer to catch on that there is more to the film than what the reviewers got.

The reviewers I read claimed the film ignored religion, or had a character at its center who was fighting in a holy war though he didn't have the impetus of faith. That was clearly untrue. Yes, Bloom's Balian is struggling with his faith after losing his child and then his losing his wife to suicide. The townspeople are absent, the cleric cruel, wallowing in Balian's misery. He goes to the Middle East to find redemption for his wife and for himself. Yet he is not without faith entirely. He feels God has abandoned him, yet he does not act as if he has abandoned God, but by the high ideals his faith and his father set for him.

This is not a historically accurate film. It's not meant to be. It's more of an essay on the nature of faith versus religion. What makes a good man. When is it all right to compromise, and when is it not. What is more important, stones or men. What is truly God’s will, and how does one know. What makes a good leader.

Yes, the turn by which a blacksmith becomes the knight is contrived, but I wasn't expecting much more. This is a Ridley Scott film, after all. His films are often filled with certain plot twists which, when looked at in the bright light of the lobby, don't pan out as neatly as you'd like them to, but allow the plot to move forward.

There are bad men and men who are better and men who compromise. Everyone is tainted by the wrongs done over that patch of land. There are certain anachronistic speeches and actions, but they are made to further the point. It's a much more thoughtful film than The Gladiator, and a more effective one, perhaps because of the center of the film being set on a more universal and positive aspect of humanity than simple vengeance.

There are characters who lack full explanation to the point of caricature, yet the performers do well within them, fleshing out what could have been human place markers. There seemed to be no ill-cast actor. And, this being a Ridley Scott film, the cinematography, especially of the battle scenes, is excellent. This is most definitely a post-Lord of the Rings film, but still carries Scott's distinct flourishes. Best period battles I've seen in a long, long time.

This isn't the most eloquent defense of a film, nor have I made the points I wanted to make. I've never been a very good reviewer (I wish I could be as good at this as ET or Erin). Still, at least I bothered to watch the movie before I wrote about it.

No, not really. That can't be.

And yet, it is. The closer for the Seattle Mariners tonight was named J.J. Putz. He gave up a ninth-inning homer to Jorge Posada, just to put the shit icing on the Mariners' humiliation cake.

Putz. His name is Putz. It's sewn across the back of his jersey, displayed for all to see every game in which he pitches. That's just so very unfortunate.

SPAM of the Day

From: barristerdarris5@eresmas.com
Date: Wed, 11 May 2005 11:39:42 GMT
Subject: KINDLY ASSIST.



FROM: Barrister Omoego Darris.
TEL: 234-803-581-4937.


I am Barrister Omoego Darris an International Legal Practitioner and a Consultant to Mr. Shouwkat Kahlil, a Lebanese Importer of Textiles and Automobiles, based in Cotonou,Republic of Benin for the past twenty years. Unfortunately, my client Mr Shouwkat Kahlil was one of the passengers that died in the ill-fated plane crash involving a Boeing 727 UTA chartered flight that took off from Cotonou, Republic of Benin and crashed into the Atlantic ocean on Thursday, 25 December 2003. For details of the plane crash,please visit :
http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/africa/12/26/benin.crash/index.html
Before the untimely death of my client, he had through a security company here in Cotonuo moved the sum of US$20.5m to Europe and was to proceed to Netherlands immediately after the Holiday to complete arrangements and have this money Deposited into ABN AMRO BANK and already the security company where the funds was deposited has sent notice to me requesting that this funds should be claimed by the depositor (My Client) or his next of kin within 14 working days, else the fund will be forfeited to the state. I must confess to you that if I do not find a way to bring this fund out of the Finance Company, I will be doing the greatest injustice to my late friend and his family. this is why I decided to you to stand in as a next of kin or his business partner who was supposed to receive the funds for investment in Europe. There are no risks involved as I am the only person who has access to my client's documents. The Finance firm has just sent a reminder to my client through me, informing him of the maturity of his fund. Your compensation for your assistance in securing the fund is subject to negotiations. I need the following information from you. Your full names,address,telephone and Fax numbers. Also Copy of your Identification. Reply urgently, as we must conclude this transaction within the next 14 working days

Sincerely,
Barrister Omoego Darris.



-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Deja de trabajar para beneficiar a tu jefe. TRABAJA PARA TI Y DESDE CASA.

What the loser wears

I've decided, upon seeing it for about two seconds on Funimation's website, that I simply must have this tee-shirt. Because I'm a pathetic loser for Furuba and the angry, angry orange cat.

The page you are looking for is currently unavailable.

Cannot find server?! The fuck? Gmail's servers aren't allowed to be down, dammit. They must always run and be happy and give me my e-mail. I WANT MY E-MAIL, DAMN YOU, GMAIL! Grah!


P.S. Anyone want a Gmail account?

*twitch* *twitch*

from Fafblog!:

Florida has no parental notifaction laws. But it does have a Department of Children and Families, and thank God for that: it has successfully sued to prevent a pregnant 13-year-old ward of the state from having an abortion on the grounds that she's too immature to make the decision. Too immature to choose to have a child, but plenty old enough to risk physically bringing it to term, and to raise it in the squalor of state custody. Ah, the glorious mysteries of the culture of life!
? posted by Medium Lobster

FW: Ten First-Place Winners in the International Pun Contest

This is a forwarded e-mail from my dad. My family frequently speaks in puns. Sometimes we have entire dinner conversations in puns. They are rarely intentional, but unavoidable. Frequent pun-induced groaning at Thanksgiving. We're just wired oddly. The only two jokes I know are long story jokes which end in horrific puns. If you don't like puns, you should never accept a dinner invitation by my family.

Anyway, I now share the punning pain with you, Dear Reader.

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire on the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "I'm positive."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?", they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so --- thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the scurvy knave who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Update on AOL Bush performance polls

Total number of votes on the poll from yesterday (modified to include response to Bush's press conference) is up to nearly a quarter of a million. What's interesting is the change in percentages from the results last night.

How satisfied are you with what Bush said during his press conference?
Not at all 64%
Very 28%
Somewhat 8%

How would you rate Bush's overall job performance?
Poor 58%
Excellent 21%
Good 11%
Fair 9%

Total Votes: 244,783

The negative numbers are only slightly less than they were before (58% Poor down from 59%, 9% Fair down from 10%). The difference between Good and Excellent has spread, from 13/18 to 11/21, but they're still significantly smaller percentages than the negative (Good and Excellent combined still don't equal Poor, let alone Fair/Poor combined).

The numbers on policy-specific polls also remain relatively similar at nearly 150 thousand votes each poll, with the negative responses dropping by only one percentage point on Social Security "reform," Iraq, and the economy, and by four points on the energy plan.

So it doesn't matter if it's slightly under 60 thousand (or about 40 thousand on the policy polls) or nearly a quarter of a million votes (or about 150 thousand on policy polls). The usually conservative AOL poll respondants appear to be greatly displeased with Bush. And that's a very big change from just a few months ago.

All I can say is, you voted for him, folks. This crap is not my fault.

I should be writing that paper, but it's either blog or reread From Far Away vol. 1-3

Barbie as Batgirl with Motorcycle

This is the first time I've ever wanted a Barbie doll.

I'm so pathetic.

Relevant

And in this webcomic, White Ninja meets the King of the Octopuses.

w00t!

Apple - Trailers - Serenity - Large

The full screen won't work 'cause I can't download the software required.... Won't work with our version of Windows. Bleh.

Hey...was that Charlie Eppes?

Yeah! It is! It's Charlie Eppes, a thousand years in the future!

Holy crap!

Polls on AOL tend to lean towards the conservative in their results. (AOL is apparently the antithesis of LiveJournal, where many liberals lurk and share stories of meeting their favorite singers/actors/comedians in the most atrocious English/typing possible.) This is why I found the following results surprising:

How would you rate Bush's overall job performance?
Poor 59%
Excellent 18%
Good 13%
Fair 10%
Total Votes: 58,258

(No, I don't know how to make tables in HTML/this pansy-ass version of HTML Blogger has us using. I'm a coding idiot.)

A full 69% of the respondants rate the President's job performance fair to poor. Geh.

... Naturally, I just noticed the number. Am being juvinilish, which is o so stylish.

Crap. Tried not writing that, but I couldn't stop myself. Fudge.

Anyway, only 31% rate the guy positively. The vast majority of respondants replied to the question with a "he sucks!" This surprises me. We all know what I think of him and his administration. I just wasn't expecting that many other people to respond the same way.

Then there were these more policy-specific polls.

Do you understand Bush's Social Security plan?
Yes 68%
No 32%
Do you support it?
No 75%
Yes 25%
Total Votes: 40,358


Do you understand Bush's energy plan?
Yes 60%
No 40%
Do you support it?
No 74%
Yes 26%
Total Votes: 39,825


Do you approve of Bush's handling of Iraq?
No 71%
Yes 29%
Do you approve of Bush's handling of the economy?
No 75%
Yes 25%
Total Votes: 41,170

Again, heavily against Bush's performance, averaging out to just under 75% on overall support ratings.

What's rather stupid is the difference between the approval ratings and the percent who understand the policies. Don't you have to have an understanding of the policy in order to have an opinion on it? What the hell is going on with the jump, of fourteen points in one case, from number who understand to number who disapprove? How can you say you disagree if you don't know what the hell the conversation is about? I can understand if you find a particular plan or policy confusing, but if you really don't understand it, you shouldn't be responding that you don't like it.

This coming from a person who sides against almost everything this particular President has done. (The "almost" from my not being entirely sure there wasn't an instance, here or there, where I might have found myself agreeing with him.)

Not that these polls mean jack shit, as it's completely unscientific, and I could easily go to seven different terminals, select "Poor" for that first poll, and have an affect on the results. Still, the results of AOL polls like these were much different a few months ago.

From my dad - Fwd: A message from Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton

Thank you for writing to me about one of the most important issues currently facing our nation, and that is the effort by some members of the United States Senate to violate rules of this august body in order to end filibusters against judicial nominations, an effort that has become known as the "nuclear option." This term appropriately describes what some of my colleagues are attempting to do because if they were to be successful in this effort, it would mark the first time in the history of the United States that the Senate changed its internal rules of governance without following its own rules and procedures for amending those internal rules of governance. In short, some senators are not just trying to change the rules but are seeking to violate an important rule that they do not like in order to prevent a substantial minority of Senators from being able to participate in any meaningful way in the consideration of federal judicial nominations. Through an exercise of sheer power, they are attempting to place themselves above the rules to which all Senators agreed to abide.

If invoked, the "nuclear option" would be, in my view, one of the most egregious abuses of powers that the Senate has experienced in its history. The rules are somewhat technical in terms of how they work but the bottom line is that the purpose of the filibuster and related rules is to ensure that no one political party has unfettered power over the other and over the millions of Americans that the substantial minority of Senators represent. Congress after Congress, decade after decade, Senators have agreed unanimously that to get rid of the filibuster would require a super-majority, not a simple majority, and that makes sense. Important Senate rules governing minority rights should not be able to be easily changed but should instead be changed only when there is very strong support, a super-majority, to do so. By resorting to the "nuclear option", violating these rules by requiring only a simple majority rather than super majority to get rid of the filibuster in judicial nominations, the majority seeks to turn the United States Senate into a rubber stamp for President Bush's extreme judicial nominees and force all Senators to abdicate our constitutional responsibility of advice and consent. As one sworn to uphold the Constitution, that is something that I cannot and will not do, and that is why I will continue to do all I can to fight for our democratic traditions. The Constitution, which is the foundation of our democracy, very clearly sets up what we call a balance of power. That is an important concept, which is critical to how successful we have been as a nation, even during the most turbulent of times.

Unfortunately, some members of the Senate majority want to undermine, rather than preserve, that balance. Because of the extreme positions taken by some of President Bush's judicial nominees, the majority is, understandably, unable to muster enough votes on these nominations. Instead of negotiating and looking to find common ground, they have simply decided to violate the rules to reach their desired outcome. Kids on playgrounds across America have a word for this kind of behavior: it is called "cheating," and it is wrong. No one should support this kind of arrogance of power, especially in a democracy.

Let me also underscore that as of today, the United States Senate has confirmed 205 of President Bush's judicial nominations, 100 of whom were confirmed during the relatively brief period of time that my party colleagues held the Senate majority. Indeed, at the end of the 108th Congress, we had the lowest vacancy rate on the federal courts in 14 years. Only 10 Bush nominees have been rejected, each because he or she failed to demonstrate a sufficient commitment to protecting the rights and freedoms of all Americans. Therefore, in contrast to claims made by some, the Senate minority members have not been "obstructionist." To the contrary, we have a strong record of confirming almost all of President Bush's judicial nominees. Indeed, just two weeks ago, I spoke on the Senate floor in strong support of the nomination of Paul Crotty, who was nominated to serve as a judge on the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York. This nomination was confirmed unanimously, not because every Senator believed that he or she would agree with all of Judge Crotty's rulings, but, I believe, because we each had faith that he would do his best to abide by the rule of law and uphold our Constitution.

Unfortunately, President Bush has nominated a few people to serve on our federal courts for life that I and many of my colleagues believe would not abide by the rule of law, which is why some of these nominees were not confirmed. Now, to stack the courts with these nominees and other extreme judges, the majority is attempting to violate long-established and agreed to Senate rules in order to do away with a constitutional check on the power of the President to pick any judicial nominees he pleases. This is wrong and inconsistent with American values. Rest assured that I will do all that I can to ensure that this does not happen.

Not enough of a cat

My sister forwarded this e-mail to me. My brother "confirmed" it at Urban Legends Reference Pages: Photo Gallery (Toner Mouse). It's supposed to be funny, but all I can think is, Oh my God, oh my God, that poor mouse, it's dead, oh that poor mouse. I'm a big softie. Obviously, I've not enough cat-ness to me to find this "LOL .. hilarious!" Perhaps you sick bastards do and will.

Seeking justice in Spain

Spain to try 9/11 terror suspects

Twenty-four people suspected of being part of the 11 September 2001 attacks on the US will go on trial in the Spanish capital, Madrid, on Friday.

Prosecutors want three of the men to receive a total of more than 60,000 years in jail - 25 for each victim.

Damn fuckin' straight. God bless the Spanish.

Well, I mean, how could I not blog about this?

Chinese Men Measure Up to Others Below the Belt

"Our conclusion is that Hong Kong people are no smaller than Western men, where their penises are concerned," said Chan Lung-wai, director of the Urology Center at the Union Hospital, who headed the study.

Naturally, I wonder if they included Japanese men in this study, and if they compared Chinese to Japanese and what the result was. Somehow, considering the current (and long-standing) international political environment, I don't think the results of that particular comparison would be unbiased, or at all favorable to the Japanese.

A group of scientists in Hong Kong spent five months from October last year measuring 148 ethnic Chinese volunteers aged between 23 and 93.

What a horrible, horrible job. Sure, there may be some slutty het girls or 'mo guys out there who'd say, "Woo! Feeling up male members all day! Sign me up, Chairman!" I would then have to remind those lil' 'hos that the range covered 23 (okay, fine) to 93 (oh my dear lord in heaven). Also, sex organs are ugly. And lord only knows where they've been sticking that thing. Ew.

Also, those readers who are of lesser experience who bothered to read the link now know what to expect when a guy takes his shorts off.

...Disappointing, isn't it?

[The study] found that a man's height bore no relation to the length of his member, but those with higher body mass indexes, or fat content, appeared to have shorter penises.

"It seems that as someone gets older and fatter, his blood vessels change, so the penile size is not static. It may be a reflection of the condition of the person's blood vessels," Chan said, adding that this could spur yet another study. [emphasis mine, 'cause, like, ew]

See, sluts? Not a pleasant job. Imagine the fet man's penis study, though. Or don't. Really, you don't need that image in your head, do you? Uch.

Still, how sad is that? Not only is Mister Fatty McFatbutt too physically gross (in both senses of the word) to attract females, but he can't even pleasure the self-hating ones who do decide to lower their standards and sleep with him. Also, we now know that the fat ones really haven't seen Mister Happy in years.

Because I'm so easily amused

Subject: URGENT ASSISTANCE.
From: "FROM MRS MONICA KABILA."
Date: Sun, April 4, 2004 10:48 am
Priority: Normal

Return-Path: monikabila1@simbamail.fm
Madam Monica Kabila.
Introduction.
My Dear,


PLEASE REPLY ME WITH THIS PRIVATE EMAIL monikabila1@simbamail.fm




It is my pleasure to contact you for a business venture which I and my Son
Mack,intend to establish in your country.




Though I have not met with you before but I believe,one has to risk confiding in
succeed sometimes in life.




There is this huge amount of Eigtheen million U.S dollar($18,000,000.00)which my
late Husband kept for us with a Security Company in Abidjan before he was
assasinated by unknown persons.



Now I and my son decided to invest these money in your country or anywhere safe
enough outside Africa for security and political reasons.



We want you to help us claim and retrieve these fund from the Fiduciary Security
Holders and transfer it into your personal account in yourcountry for investment
purposes on th ese areas:


1). Telecommunication


2). the transport industry


3). Five star hotel



If you can be of an assistance to us we will be pleased to offer you 10% Of the
total fund.



PLEASE REPLY ME WITH THIS PRIVATE EMAIL, You can as well reach my son mack with this
private number which is 008821655515306, monikabila1@simbamail.fm



I await your soonest response.


Respectfully yours,


Mrs. Monica Kabila.

And Halifax's eyes bleed

I'm a sucker for these things. If Halifax does, in fact, read The Very Secret Diary of M. T. Cicero and his head explodes or his eyes melt out of his head or something, could you let me know?

Pimp: the Backhanding card game (I shit you not)

Why didn't I hear of this sooner? Why did I have to find out about it from reading the notes accompanying an old "Something Positive" comic? Why is no one writing volumes of twisted, evil, and deeply humorous posts regarding White Wolf's Pimp: the Backhanding utilizing the character types from their other Noun: the Gerund games? C'mon, people! This is fucking hi-la-ri-ous!

Please help out, if you can

A friend of mine is trying to raise money for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. She's "required to raise a minimum of $1,800 to participate," but so far her donations are only up to $765. I thought I'd post here, in case someone might be willing to help out. I'm not asking you to donate lots, just what you can, if you can. (I, myself, am on my fiscal last legs, which are looking rather stumpy and infected right now....)

It's for a good cause and she's a great person. (She also is mommy to one of the cutest babies I've ever, ever seen.) Hope folks can help.

Cogito, Ergo Sumana for 2001 October

I was looking around for the lyrics to the Powdered Milk Biscuits song from Prairie Home Companion and ran across this in some Berkeleyite's four-year old weblog:

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Taliban. Er, Azkaban. But seriously, folks, Goblet of Fire, the most recent Harry Potter novel, certainly alludes to terrorism, albeit magical.

I think I gave that book back to Dan, but maybe I could skim some passages again at a bookstore or something. The Harry Potter books really do get more thought-provoking and morally complex as the series progresses. I'm looking forward to seeing J.K. Rowling's next work.

Makes me feel less stupid for reading the books. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only adult I know (not including family) who reads these books.

Happy Birthday, Mr. Andersen

Today's Hans Christian Andersen's 200th birthday.

Thanks for the Red Shoes, the New Clothes, and the Ugly Duckling.