Honey

The wall between the outdoors and the kitchen cabinet is not very well insulated. As a result, the honey in the cabinet has crystalized in that sticky, funky fashion honey crystalizes. This is annoying, as I like to use honey in my green tea.

It is even more annoying because I'm drinking even more green tea than I usually do because I heard green tea helps accelerate one's metabolism. Faster metabolising means less excess flesh. Hyper-metabolisms lead to super-skinny size-one types who complain that they eat and eat and just can't gain a pound, which is a very irritating yet enviable complaint.

I'm sure adding honey is not helping the excess weight problem any, but it takes the edge off the bitterness of the tea. I'm a round-eye. This is what I do.

Still, the honey is crystalized and refuses to come out of the large squeeze bottle. Frustrating. So I nuke the honey bottle. The honey is now willing to come out of the squeeze bottle, but there's a problem. Not a real problem, but an issue nonetheless. The honey, post-crystallization and post-nuking, now comes out of the bottle like serious diarrhea. This, you can imagine, is unappetizing at best. Squeezing diarrhea into my tea is not a pleasant idea, even if it's sweet, honey-flavored, golden diarrhea. I still use it and I still drink the tea, but it's a good thing the tea has to sit and steep for a while, as those few minutes of steeping allow me time to forget the sweet, sticky, gold diarrhea I just poured into my metabolism-raising tea.