That Song Has Me Confused. Is This Ironic?
Because it wasn't homework, I decided to take a stupid test on AOL regarding how good a date I am. I got a 16 out of 20. And I quote: You must be in high demand on the dating circuit. You have a knack for making men feel at ease. Enjoy yourself, girl!
They couldn't possibly be more wrong. I am Sugar Kat the Dateless. I haven't been asked out by a non-drunk in about, what, seven years? Drunks (reason: beer goggles) and jokes (reason: obvious) don't count. Drunk asking was last year. Joking request for a date was four years ago. Both smushed my ego just that much further. And my mother wonders why I don't wear more feminine clothes (I'm a jeans-and-tee-shirt kind of gal nowadays, usually wearing the flannel shirt I stole from my brother over the tee). Why bother? Ugh.
So's you get some context on the silly response, here are the quiz questions and my responses (along with ubiquitous LTSK commentary in brackets):
That all seems pretty reasonable to me. I guess. But I think I give off some sort of cooties!/Ebola!/rabies!-vibe. Or something. Or maybe I'm ugly. Or too tall. Or too fat. Or maybe it's this flannel shirt. Or maybe, just maybe, I'm Dateless because my social circle's now a bunch of kids nine or twelve years younger than I am. But, considering the duration of time, I think the age range can be ruled out. It's probably the height/weight/looks thing. (And maybe the boobs are, like, scary.)
They couldn't possibly be more wrong. I am Sugar Kat the Dateless. I haven't been asked out by a non-drunk in about, what, seven years? Drunks (reason: beer goggles) and jokes (reason: obvious) don't count. Drunk asking was last year. Joking request for a date was four years ago. Both smushed my ego just that much further. And my mother wonders why I don't wear more feminine clothes (I'm a jeans-and-tee-shirt kind of gal nowadays, usually wearing the flannel shirt I stole from my brother over the tee). Why bother? Ugh.
So's you get some context on the silly response, here are the quiz questions and my responses (along with ubiquitous LTSK commentary in brackets):
- How long does it take to decide how you feel about a guy?
· I can tell within the first few minutes of meeting him [not unless there's something obviously wrong with him, I can't]
x A few hours of conversation [this is prelims, like, do I think I like a guy or not, is he second date material, etc., so, yeah, a few hours of conversation should do it]
· Two dates
· Sometimes months
- What's a first date dealbreaker for you?
· The way he dresses [snooty bitch]
x Unpleasant odors
· Showing up without a gift [what kind of demanding bitch expects a freakin' gift on a first date?!]
· Staring at your chest throughout dinner [heck, that happened all the time at the office. There's roughly a foot of space between my eyes and my admittedly largeish chest. I can tell. I can always tell. Eye angle. But it's the first date. I'd write that sort of behavior off to hormones. So long as he's not trying to grab them and makes occasional eye contact.]
- On which subject do you demand the full story during the first date?
· His previous relationships [that's just stupid; why wander into that dangerous territory on the first freakin' date? Especially considering he might just start whining unpleasantly about a total bitch of an ex. Do I need to hear that, even if he is a great guy?]
· His future career plans [he can tell me if he wants to, but to ask about it makes it seem like I'm concerned about how much money he's making, which sure isn't my main concern]
x His hobbies and passions ["demand" is an overly strong word, but, yeah, I generally want to know what the heck the guy is interested in. You know, if we have anything in common, or if he's into something I can't stand (I should imagine vice-versa).]
· His feelings about marriage [Jesus! Stalk much, superfreak? Hell, I don't want to think about marriage. Why would I bring it up on the first freakin' date?]
· None [almost chose this, simply because of the "demand" (who am I to demand anything at this point?), but I'd be very much interested in the hobby stuff, so I chose that]
- On a date, do you ever envy the other couples having fun on their dates?
· Yes
x No [what the hell do I care about the other couples?]
- How far do you push him to do something he doesn't want to do, like dancing?
· Two or three whines, then stop
· Until he complies
x I don't -- I ask what he'd rather do [not to say I'm a wussy, compliant non-entity, but this is the first date. We're looking for neutral territory where we're both comfortable. If I met a chick like the two answers above, I'd probably smack her.]
· I don't, but then I make fun of him to my girlfriends [again: bitch!]
- What do you always compliment a man on, even if it's not true?
· His smile
· His clothing
· His choice of date activity
· His kissing
x I only compliment if I mean it [I hate false compliments. They're lies. Why start off with stupid lies that will lead you to trouble later? They always do.]
- How do you bring up the subject of a second date?
· 'That was fun'
· 'So what are you doing next weekend?'
· 'Give me a call sometime'
x Wait for him to bring it up [I'm a coward. I'm not going to presume any desire on his part to see my sorry self again. If I had a good time, I'll say so, but not to lead into anything.]
That all seems pretty reasonable to me. I guess. But I think I give off some sort of cooties!/Ebola!/rabies!-vibe. Or something. Or maybe I'm ugly. Or too tall. Or too fat. Or maybe it's this flannel shirt. Or maybe, just maybe, I'm Dateless because my social circle's now a bunch of kids nine or twelve years younger than I am. But, considering the duration of time, I think the age range can be ruled out. It's probably the height/weight/looks thing. (And maybe the boobs are, like, scary.)
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