Lame Factor So, I finally looked about at non-friend blogs, and I realize now that this is one lame-ass blog. (The "ass" there for purposes of emphasis, not because there's any ass to be had at this blog.) The formatting is crap and the text is, well, unfunny.

Most blogs I've bothered to look at are funny. If they're not funny, they're written by famous or semi-famous people and are, therefore, simply though the nature of the fame of the blogger, made interesting. I am not famous and never will be, in spite of that weird dream I had with Emma Thompson and Alan Rickman in it. (It was cool. Weird, but cool. But now, because of the nature of dreams and stuff, it won't happen. "A dream is a wish your heart makes/When you're fast asleep." And, stupid fucking me, I just told you about it, canceling out the possibility of the dream/wish coming true. Arg!) Therefore, I cannot rely upon fame to make this blog intrinsically interesting. So I have to write interesting things. But I don't. Mostly I just bitch about my pathetic loser life. Which is not at all interesting. If you wanted to read that sort of thing, you could pick up the poetry written by any aspiring poet at any, random high school. (Though that poetry sucks, hard, and I wouldn't recommend you read it, unless you wish to cause yourself mental pain.)

So, my text is boring. And the formatting sucks. That is because I cannot code. I know nothing about programming. I used to program in Basic using my family's Texas Instruments "computer" which hooked up to the television. I would make the television say my brother was a jerk over and over again, in many different background and text colors. (It was insulting and psychedelic. It was a lot of fun. I miss that TI.)

But that was when I was in elementary school. Things have changed, drastically, since my programming heydays in the eighties. I'm now an incompetent old fart. The most I can manage is italics, which is coding a baby can do. You could sit me down in front of a computer and I'd say, "Look! I can italicize this text! I can code!" and you'd reply, "The fuck! Any child can code that much! Hell, my baby cousin can do more! You suck!"

And you'd be right. And so does my blog. sigh No wonder no one reads this.

JerkSquad!! has improved of late. Probably because I haven't been posting questions. Or as many. I think the lameness factor of JerkSquad!! is the direct result of my lame questions, which can't help but be lame 'cause I, as stated above, am lame.

Snow It's snowing again in Albany. It's very pretty, especially at night, when the surface glitters like diamond chips have been scattered over it, but I'm glad I don't drive.

Ooh, and there's this one, scary-ass icicle hanging from the awning over the kitchen door which has almost reached the ground (the icicle, not the awning). It's super-cool. (gak Please ignore unintentional pun.) It's like a stalactite which has dripped itself all the way to the floor, but without the help of a stalagmite reaching up to meet it. And, it's, like, ice, so it's crystal-y and pretty and stuff. It's cool! (gak ...unintentional...pun...! gak)

Vermont is way, way prettier than the Capital Region of New York. If anyone is thinking of moving up to this general area, move to Vermont. It's prettier and you can get marble and maple syrup products for way cheap. And there's good shopping in Bennington. Like, groceries. I don't give a shit about shoes and clothes, 'cause no matter what I buy, my ass will always look big.

(Now there is non-emphasizing ass in the blog!)

Mint Newman-O's are very tasty. I can eat an entire Oreos-bag-sized bag of them with great ease. Nearly split the bag with Mom last night. There’s still about half a bag left, but I doubt it’ll last the day.

This is, perhaps, one very good reason why every dress, skirt, pair of slacks, and pair of jeans I try on makes my ass look huge.

'Cause it is.

'Cause I eat so many damned mint Newman-Os.

Which are tasty.

Yum.

munch munch

Surfing I find that I do very little web surfing of my own, but rather rely upon others to tell me where to go. "This is a good site," someone will relate via a phone call or through e-mail. "You should go to this address. So-and-so, this really good author, is posting things there." Or, "It's really damned funny! Aragorn and Faramir are fighting over Frodo!" And then I go to the web address they feed me.

It's like I have some sort of surfing service provided by friends. They surf so I don't have to.

Fucking princess, you’re thinking. How lazy can you be?

But, there you are. It works. Mostly.

(Though I can't remember where the hell the Lord of the Rings secret diaries site is, darn it.)

Yay, Joss Whedon for having the annoying "southern" Slayerette killed off. She was icky and very much not nice to look at. I'm hoping A) Faith comes back soon and scares the fuck outta these whiners and B) that the actual next Slayer is the chick who arrived at the bus depot in last night's episode. She, I like. The rest are annoying.

Mom Update Mom's now watching Buffy with me, which is very keen. It's like this mother-daughter-bonding thing, except it's taking too much damned time for me to update her on the happenings in the Buffy 'verse. I'm going to have to sit her down with the season one and season two DVD sets. Too bad I don't have the season three set, and won't for at least a year.

Arg! Arg! I must have! Arg! Season five will be out before I can get that set! Arg! whiiiiiine