Things I have done about which none of you will give a hoot

• went to NYC Ballet's evening performance of "Russian Tribute", part of NYCB's Balanchine 100 Celebration and their summer tour (Saratoga Performing Arts Center, Saratoga Springs, NY)
  
• went to Prince's Musicology tour concert in Hartford, CT (present from my eldest sister) with my mom, eldest sister J-- and her son S--
  
• went to a Yankees-Toronto game with Mom and my nephew S--
  
• seen As You Like It (Shakespeare & Company, Lenox, MA) and A Midsummer Night's Dream (Williamstown Theatre Festival, Williamstown, MA) with my mom, my sister J--, and my nephew S--
  
• visited Six Flags The Great Escape with my nephew S--
  
• went to the Manchester United-AC Milan match at Giants Stadium with my sister J--, my nephew S--, and my mom, mere hours before J-- and S-- flew back to France
  
• finally saw Shrek 2, Spiderman 2, Troy, and Fahrenheit 9/11

The ballet was lovely, but too modern for the angry lesbian sitting in front of me. She didn't like the fact that there was so much focus on the male dancer in "Apollo," and whispered harshly throughout that dance to her milder-tempered life-partner. I thought nasty thoughts at her and she had the decency to disappear after "Apollo" until the third act. Hoo-ray for the awesome power of my mind! Go 'way, stoopid, ill-educated lesbian! And get a better haircut! (Well, at least the first part took.)

As no one I know, outside of certain members of my family, cares for Prince, I won't rave for three paragraphs on how wicked awesome his concert was in spite of the deep-set lameness of the Hartford jerks in attendance. I will note that the floor of the Hartford Civic Center was so filthy that it took great effort on my part to detach my feet from said floor. So much effort, in fact, that I couldn't jump in time to the music when prompted to do so by the Purple One. Others in attendance complained of the same. Those floors were nasty, and not in a Janet Jackson kind of way.

Both of the Shakespeare productions were very good and managed to be fresh interpretations without going too crazy in the reinterpretation. Rosalind in the Shakespeare & Company production and Hermia and Puck in the Williamstown production were the stand-out performances. I sincerely hope to see all three of them go on to bigger and brighter productions, but not too soon, as we can actually afford to see them in regional theater.

Six Flags was kind of crazy, as we went on a weekday and there were nearly no lines at all. This meant we got to ride rollercoaster after rollercoaster with nearly no break in between. By the time I'd ridden The Comet twice in succession, I was feeling exceedingly nausiated and had trouble walking. My nephew was miffed by my weakness, but, in my defense, we'd had about three-and-a-half hours solid of rollercoaster riding and I hadn't eaten yet that day. (I was attempting not to hurl the warm bottle of water I'd chugged just before getting on The Comet, in case you were wondering.)

We went to the soccer match the next day, surrounded by Liverpudlians and Irish and English and Australians. It was fun. My nephew was sorely disappointed by Man U's loss, which shouldn't have happened. I discovered that professional soccer, when played by non-Americans and seen in person, is actually rather entertaining. It's like basketball, only on a much larger court and played with the feet. It continues to be mind-numbingly boring when viewed on television. I still prefer baseball.

"The filthy monkey, it plans..."

Check out the tiny piece of story by Warren Ellis.

That sort of thing had been a local problem since I was a boy, when Farmer Hobble contracted the fabled 'terrible cock-mange' from the sheep who ate the dumped army chemicals and learned to have sex in the missionary position.

baa-aaa-aaa!

(You might also want to look here for more Ellis short stuff.)

Hecto- erm, Hulk SMASH!

Go read The Onion | Why No One Want Make Hulk 2?

Why no one appreciate daring vision of Ang Lee? Aaargh! Ang Lee genius! Maybe panels on screen gimmicky, but him try something new. When last time you try something new?! Ang Lee willing to work in unfamiliar genres. Him brave like Hulk. Hulk wish for him to work on Hulk 2, if he willing, but Hulk understand if he not want to. Ang Lee like Hulk: He not stay in one place for too long. Him working on gay western right now. That prove Hulk's point. If him not do it, maybe Darren Aronofsky or David Gordon Green. Someone with unique vision that not so stuck on action clichés. First studio exec to suggest Joel Schumacher get smashed!

Happy birthday

As my birthday present, my mom took me to see the Yankees play Toronto today (well, now it's yesterday). It was a brilliant present, as the game was very good. First, I got to see El Duque pitch in his second game since his return. Second, Ted Lilly was pitching for the Blue Jays, and I've liked Lilly for a while now, in spite of his dodgy control when he pitched for the Yankees. (I'm still pissed off about that crap trade of Lilly for Jeff "I Suck" Weaver. Bleh-phooie Weaver. At least Lilly could earn a W on a reliable basis.) El Duque struck out ten, though he struggled a bit. Lilly was solid, though he had a shaky beginning. Lilly had a no-hitter for about, what, four innings. Neither of them allowed a run into the seventh, when relief stepped in to take over the mutual shut-out.

Very exciting, in spite of lack of Jeter. My nephew managed to spot Jeter on the bench using my binoculars, which was sweet of him, but I wish I could have seen Jeter play, especially since we were seated to the left of home plate (heh heh heh, cackles the pervy Yankees fan).

At any rate, Lilly and El Duque were quite good and the bullpens both held so the game went nil-nil until the bottom of the 9th, with two out, and the three of us hoping the game wouldn't go too far into extra innings as we were all very hungry. BAM! Ruben Sierra, one of my mom's favorites, hit a walk-off home run and the game was over in very dramatic fashion, with a nice, low score.

Huzzah! The Yankees yet again give me a very lovely birthday present, winning 1-0, even making sure my favored Lilly doesn't get the L. Cheers, boys!

But...but...no one's seen that one!

"You're like Shizuku, from Whisper of the Heart!

"You're very creative and enjoy reading. But you can't just live in fantasy and books forever -- you have to have dreams of your own. You do have talent! It's just a matter of finding and polishing it. School may be boring but it can give you the knowledge you need to accomplish your dreams."

Which Miyazaki Heroine Are You?
Brought to you by bobmink.com

Void

Why can't I open my comments? I just want to see what people had to say, but I click and I click and nothing happens. Why does nothing happen? Does the Internet hate me? I think the Internet hates me. Hate hate hate. Why does it hate me? Is it because I take too many of those (stupid) quizzes at Quizzilla and Memegen? Is it because I take those (stupid) quizzes at Quizilla and Memegen and then post the results in my blog? Is it because I occasionally link a lot in my posts, like the one below? Is it because I'm on the ass end of the Negative Karma Sink(tm): Internet Version 2.0? Is it because I'm a brunette and gentlenets prefer blondes? Why? Why can't I open my comments? Why?

Returning to Goblet of Fire

Went to my sister's, got sick, did some shopping. Came back to find this stuff on the CBBC website about casting announcements for the fourth HP flick:

• conflicted Barty Crouch, Sr.: Roger Lloyd-Pack, who looks the part, really
  
  
• evil Barty Crouch, Jr.: David Tennant
  
  
• Durmstrang Headmaster, Professor Igor Karkaroff: Pedja Bjelac from Belgrade
  
  
• Amos Diggory (Cedric's dad): Jeff Rawle

I'm not sure about the choice of directors, as Mike Newell is responsible for celluloid crap like Four Weddings and a Funeral and Mona Lisa Smile. Not sure if that's an improvement over the jerk who helmed cinematic fecal sludge like Mrs. Doubtfire and Nine Months.

("Who?" you say? Well, look them characters up here.)

Other newish members of the HP cast listed (and linked) here.

Jenny Turpish Slapped Me: Quizzes - Better Person

It stopped raining and I cleaned the litter box, so I'll just post this quiz and then go for a walk.

It makes sense on no sleep. It does.

I wonder how SheepBoy would score?

Go take Jenny Turpish Slapped Me: Quizzes - Better Person and see how you rate compared to this little trooper.

20 Questions to being a Better Person


Your score as a human being is 88.5.


You are close to ideal. So close, and yet so far. Amusing, really, to watch someone squirm so close to the vaunted ranks of perfection and still remain so very, very ordinary. It is all one can do to keep one's ingratiating smile from polluting one's perfect face.

Actually, one recommends you take the quiz again and lie a little.

Jenny Turpish Slapped Me: Quizzes - Better Personality

Severely non-flattering personality quiz from Jenny Turpish Slapped Me:

Wackiness: 34/100
Rationality: 62/100
Constructiveness: 56/100
Leadership: 44/100


You are an SRCF--Sober Rational Constructive Follower. This makes you a White House staffer. You are a tremendous asset to any employer, cool under pressure, productive, and a great communicator. You feel the need to right wrongs, take up slack, mediate disputes and keep the peace. This comes from a secret fear that business can't go on without you--or worse, that it can.

If you have a weakness, it is your inability to say 'no.' While your peers respect you, they find it difficult to resist taking advantage of your positive attitude and eagerness to take on work. You depend on a good manager to keep you from sinking under the weight and burning out.

Meme crazy at 5:30 in the morning

This is what happens when I can't frickin' sleep at night and it's raining so I can't go for a walk.

Your Husband Generator by Lady_Galadriel
Name
Your Husband Is
You Met	a taxi - you shared the cab
You Have	7 children
You Live	China
In	a large house
You And Your Partner Are Best Known For	your GIANT shopping sprees
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

Colormeme turquoise

Color meme (care of KevMoTown):

1. Copy and paste this: [font color="username"][b]username[/b][/font] into your blog.
2. Replace "username" with your web handle.
3. Replace [square] brackets with html-type brackets.


Et voilà: sugarkat
Gee. Almost as obnoxious as I am.

Yet, little trooper sugar kat, as you can see, is true blue.

Dear weeping Jesus, it can't be!

Oh, yes it can, little trooper. Oh, yes it can.

So now that you've been properly warned, you may enter, and experience the lameness that is WIL WHEATON DOT NET.ENTER
I love you, Wil Wheaton! Let's be friends!

EXIT
You're lame, Wil Wheaton. I hated Wesley, and I hate you.

- excerpt from Wil Wheaton's blog explaination

Yes, that Wil Wheaton. Apparently, he is one of the contributors to the VH1 Best Week Ever blog. Annoying Ensign Wesley. Geezie-creezie.

Whedon Quote of the Week

It was amazing. Four hours at a stretch, great scholars and a great teacher completely prying open the text of Hamlet. I mean, what more fun can there be? ... Spoken like a man who never had sex in high school ...

- Joss Whedon on studying for A level English

Does anybody care about the (mis)adventures of little trooper sugar kat?

Just wondering if anyone is actually reading this blog. Like, anyone at all. I'd be vastly surprised if there were strangers reading this. I'd also be surprised if a lot of people I know were reading this. I just want to know if ANYONE is reading this.

I get responses to my photos on my flog, and I get e-mail from Fotolog telling me the number of times my pictures have been viewed, so I know I should keep updating there. Should I bother here? Please post in the comments to reply. If anyone is there, that is.

On kuvaszes

A large, white, salivating thing has entered my life.

It is a kuvasz. He is six years old. His name is Harcos. He noticed that there was a bird. The bird, on the other hand, refused to admit that there was a large, white, salivating thing there, and continued his dinner.

So far, so good. I now have to see if he can be trained to sit at my feet, stare up at me, and say, "You are the best writer EVER!"

- Steven Brust

---

I met a kuvasz once. At the vet's. It was big and super-furry. It had the prettiest voice and was very friendly without being annoying or at all intimidating. If I were to get a large, white, salivating thing, it'd definitely be a kuvasz, as they are the very best large, salivating thing in the known universe. I would even have a bumper sticker that says, "I *heart* my kuvasz" and no one would understand it because no one knows, other than me and Steven Brust, what a kuvasz is. That'd be cool, my mystery-*heart* bumper sticker, but not as cool as my large, white, salivating kuvasz, whom I'd love in spite of it not being a cat. Especially if it sat there at my feet, being furry and warm, and told me I'm the best writer EVER (liar), as I need all the help with my ego I can get.

Attention cephalopod mollusk-lovers!

Thought you might want to take a gander at this, Dear Octopusish Reader.

I post because I love.

P.S.

I do believe the infamous KDC posted the best baby announcement I have ever (and will ever) seen. I'd post a congrats on the Octopus blog, but he doesn't know who the fuck I am (I remember him from a few visits to the NYU SFF Club during the period when I was working at my first NYC job, but he has no memory of me), so it'd be creepy.

Quote of the Day

WTF
OMFG
ROTFLOL
I HATE L33T
SP33K SO DAMN
MUCH IT HURTS

- something positive

BWA-HAHAHAHAHA!or "That's just so fucking wrong."

CATPRIN, a tailor for cats. Ever imagined dressing up your lovely cat into a fabulous beauty? You don't have to dress her everyday, in fact she might not feel comfortable with a dress on for days. Just dress her up only on special occasions like her birthday, takes a photo and that should leave you lots of memories and fantasies.

First off, considering how pissed off the cats look in the photographs showing the wares, I really don't think "your lovely cat" would ever "feel comfortable with a dress on" for three seconds, let alone long enough for you to take a picture of "her" humiliation.

Second, what the hell do they mean by "fantasies?" Is this some sort of superfreak fetish mixing furries' desires with actual bestiality?

That having been said, I think I want the frog hat and collar set for me. (I'll just tell them I'm the sad owner of the fattest cat in the world.) I'm also sorely disappointed that there is no sheep costume for cats shown, in spite of the intro cartoon having a cute, happy kitty in sheep's clothing, as I think the tiny costume would have been a superb Gary Day gift.

Or, you know, maybe Guillermo del Toro wouldn't be so bad for Order of the Phoenix after all

For Mr. del Toro, this is hard-core. He turned down a shot at directing the third 'Harry Potter' film because he nurtured a need to bring Mr. Mignola's colossal, monstrous-looking, Twizzler-colored champion to the screen.

-from Elvis Mitchell's review of Hellboy

I either did not know that or did not remember it. Either way, if I can't get Cuarón to direct the fifth Harry Potter movie, I don't think I'd mind del Torro trying his hand at it. Still, I'd rather have his directing another Hellboy movie and get Cuarón on book five instead. And seeing as Hellboy 2 has been announced (currently in preproduction, so anything goes), why the hell can't we get Señor Cuarón helming HP5, huh?

Whedonsday, far cooler than Bloomsday

It's Whedonsday.
...

Happy Birthday to the MAN, Joss Whedon! Our almighty turns the big 4-0 today.

Hellmouth Central

Captain Tightpants returns!

Thought a certain few of my readers might like to read the following from a Firefly fan messageboard

Firefly Movie - The Movie Blog
From: NATHAN_F Jun-16 12:34 am
To: ALL (1 of 173)

I can't promise you a weekly thing, the schedule keeps me on my toes and I type slowly. However, here's a bit of a blog for you.
First day of filming for me is not the first day of filming overall. That honor was Sean's and Summer's. But all were present when we arrived in the desert out by the old abandoned mine to begin what will be two weeks of exterior shooting. I can't tell you how it warmed my heart to seethe cast not only together (I've seen that a couple of times since the show's demise), but in costume as well. Jewel looks great in a version of her old green work overalls (has she gotten taller?). Sean is appropriately overdressed for what we are doing out there. Adam's T-shirt designs and gun belts will have the fans in a tizzy, I'm sure- he looks too cool for words. Ron has had a minor overhaul and reminds me of a native american Shaman, a logical twist. Summer looks both etherial and eerie (I hope I spelled those words correktlee) walking- no, drifting about. Alan looks both relaxed and tough in his new togs and has the best footwear of all of us. Morena, of course, is Morena. One look is never quite enough. It is easy to imagine the high class she occupies in the 'verse of Firefly. Gina fuses supermodel and badass in an outfit tailored to her physique. She's been working out, you'll see.
I couldn't be happier. Everyone has slipped right back in where we left off, but there is a difference. There is some kind of special magic in the ressurection. We all feel it. We are back in a way the series never could be. I have a glad heart when I watch Joss talking to the ship's crew. can only look at him and smile. I smile a lot these days. More even than I thought I would. Thank you Joss. Thank you Universal. Thank you crew. Thank you cast. Thank you cast especially for laughing at all the same old crappy material I used to use.
Captain Tightpants

The beauty part is that he actually signed off as "Captain Tightpants," which is so gorgeous, I "squee!"d when I first read it. Huzzah for Nathan Fillion!

---

Here's another "blog" from the good Captain.

Ugh

CNN.com - Bodies in lake identified as father and two sons - Jun 20, 2004: "PLEASANT PRAIRIE, Wisconsin (AP) -- A father and two sons missing from Chicago for more than a month were identified Sunday as the bodies that washed ashore on Lake Michigan bound together by nylon rope and tied to bags filled with sand."

Happy Father's Day. Eesh.

How thematically appropriate

Your Inner Kitty by gifted_one
Username
Fur length	Long
Colors	Dark Gray, blue eyes
Kitty accessories	A collar with a bell
Favorite thing to say	"OOH! SHINY!"
# of lives you have left	9
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

Ah, anonymous, insincere flattery

Your True Nature by llScorpiusll
Username
The quality that most appeals to you:	Creativity
In a survival situation, you:	Cleverly trick your attacker
Your hidden talent is:	Seeing the best in others
Your gift is:	Artistic talent
In groups, you:	Get the party started
Your best quality is:	Your protectiveness
Your weakness is:	Your overbearing nature
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

The best animal

I read the following passage from The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time

And people who believe in God think God has put human beings on the earth because they think human beings are the best animal, but human beings are just an animal and they will evolve into another animal, and that animal will be cleverer and it will put human beings into a zoo, like we put chimpanzees and gorillas into a zoo. Or human beings will all catch a disease and die out or they will make too much pollution and kill themselves, and then there will only be insects in the world and they will be the best animal.

and I thought, No, no, binturongs are the best animal.

Then I thought, Dear lord, what has Hal done to my fragile mind?

Confession

I feel I must confess here, to you, Dear Reader, about this thing I dreamed about. It took place in a series of dreams I've had which I won't go into 'cause it's weird and stupid and I kinda want bits of them to come true.

I don't want this part to come true. I want to fess up to my brain doing something so horrible.

I was talking, in the dream, to a friend who had just done something stupid. During the discussion, I described the girl who was his date as "Miss Hottie H. McHot."

I feel shame even now. I think I was being sarcastic in my dream. I hope I was being sarcastic in my dream. I am amazed that I could say something so stupid in a dream and not awaken, suddenly, in horror at having said something so stupid.

Agg! Augh! Gak! Phaugh! Brain hurts!

Dead poodle

I am about two thirds of the way through Mark Haddon's The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time. It's my mother's copy, which is a first edition.

There are very light, random penmarks on some pages, as though she'd held the book open with a couple of fingers while doing something else, not realizing that that same hand had a pen in it.

I can't believe my mother would treat a book, let alone a first edition, like that.

The book is exceptionally good, which opinion I would have posted earlier into the book, except I couldn't find a passage which would illustrate the rhythm and flow of the prose. In case you have not read one of the many blurbs or reviews praising the book, I should let you know it is supposed to be in the voice of a 15-year old autistic boy.

And I realize that I told a lie in Chapter 13 because I said "I cannot tell jokes," because I do know 3 jokes that I can tell and I understand and one of them is about a cow, and Siobhan said I didn't have to go back and change what I wrote in Chapter 13 because it doesn't matter because it is not a lie, just a clarification.

And this is the joke.

There are three men on a train. One of them is an economist and one of them is a logician and one of them is a mathematician. And they have just crossed the border into Scotland (I don't know why they are going to Scotland) and they see a brown cow standing in a field from the window of the train (and the cow is standing parallel to the train).

And the economist says, "Look, the cows in Scotland are brown."

And the logician says, "No. There are cows in Scotland of which one at least is brown."

And the mathematician says, "No. There is at least one cow in Scotland, of which one side appears to be brown."

And it is funny because economists are not real scientists, and because logicians think more clearly, but mathematicians are best.

I'm not entirely sure you can get the gist of the book from this. Yes, there are some severe run-on sentences and a desperate need for commas and fewer "and"s, but that's the point. That's the voice of this boy, Christopher. It's an increadibly fast read for all of the slightly off English (which is slightly off English English, not American English, or, as my nephew P-- calls it, "American"). (Besides which, if you can tolerate reading my blog, you shouldn't have any trouble whatsoever with Christopher's manner of writing.)

If you read newspapers and magazines, like I do, you've probably heard of this book already. You've read praise and of random gatherings turning into book clubs to discuss The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time because that group of friends or coworkers or hockey fans discovered they were all reading the book at once. This also happened with The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay some years back. It'll be happening more now that The Curious Incident... is out in trade paperback.

This is the reason why cities don't need to determine what book everyone should be reading that month, as everyone will read the same book, eventually, anyway. If it's a good book, like Kavalier & Clay or Curious Incident, that's a good thing. If it's a bad book, like anything by Nicholas Sparks or Dan Brown, well, lament Western Civilization, then read a good book and hope to start the next book trend.

At any rate, test-drive it at a local B&N or Borders, where they let you read the books without bothering you too much. I'd recommend you then buy it from an independent bookseller, but I know my friends are poor/broke/cheap, so that probably won't be happening.

And, yes, Halifax, there is always the library, if there's a copy available. They let you read the books there without purchasing, too. But you can be pretty close to sure the book from the independent bookseller won't have been taken to the john for a long read, which you can't quite say of the library or the B&N books. Remember: the colour brown is bad because it is the colour of poo.

Okay, NOW it's updated

There are new photos (of NYC and the QM2) in my fotolog. Hope you like 'em.

Um, no, not really

Actually, the post below is patently untrue. I have not posted new pictures to my fotolog. This is because the World Wide Web hates me and all that I do.

First example of this is the shit that's going down with two of my Yahoo accounts, which look as though someone else has been using them, though I've no idea how the heck I could prove that.

The second is the disappearing act a goodly portion of the code for my template did a couple of days ago, phht! into thin cyber-air.

Third is the lazy-whore attitude the usually friendly and girl-next-doorish Fotolog.com took with me during my attempt to upload pictures of NYC.

I'm going to bed now.

P.S.

Hal, do you still want me to read your book?

New pics

Please ignore the indicator to the right. I'm having template problems. I actually have updated my Fotolog. I'll probably do so again tomorrow. Maybe.

Goblet of Fire

Well, I know, the third HP movie just came out (I enjoyed it muchly and am desperately hoping Cuaron comes back for Order of the Phoenix, a.k.a. Book Five), but they're working on the fourth film now, so I thought I'd let folks who care (hi, Maggie!) know who's playing whom. (Info from CBBC Newsround. No, not all of this is listed on IMDb.)

• Madame Maxime, headmistress of French wizarding school Beauxbatons: Frances de la Tour, 1970s British "sitcom star".
  
  
• Defence Against The Dark Arts Teacher Mad-Eye Moody: Brendan Gleeson, who played Menelaus in Troy.
  
  
• Fleur Delacour, Beauxbatons' champion in the Triwizard Tournament: French actress Clemence Poesy.
  
  
• Cedric Diggory, Hufflepuff House, Hogwarts's official champion for the Triwizard Tournament: Brit teenager Robert Pattinson.
  
  
• Viktor Krum, Bulgarian Seeker in the Quiddich World Cup, Triwizard Tournament candidate from Durmstrang Institute: Bulgarian teenager Stanislav Yanevski.
  
  
• Cho Chang, Ravenclaw Seeker, Cedric Diggory's girlfriend: Scottish teenager Katie Leung (? !)

Work on Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire started a couple of weeks ago. And it'll be released in 2005.

(CBBC May 24 2004)

The film of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire looks like it will be a Dursley-free zone....

(CBBC Apr 7 2004)

"Reality stepped in, and that's where we are now"

Neoconservatives widely predicted an easy occupation followed by an immediate peace, followed by "a flourishing democracy which would cause a domino effect across the region creating democracies elsewhere," said Peter Singer, a national security fellow at the Brookings Institution. "And then the very first foreign policy position taken by this new democratic Iraq, run by their exile friends, would be to recognize Israel, and that would somehow end the Arab-Israeli conflict, and bunnies would dance in the streets, and we would find life on Mars."

excerpt from SFGate.com article: Bush speech alarms even war enthusiasts

Wait, why can't I have an unidentifiable animal traipsing about my backyard?

Check out the nifty mystery mammal in North Carolina. It's not better than a binturong--nothing could be that--but it's pretty keen.

I'm hoping it's not a PhotoShopHound, 'cause that would suck. (Stoopid PhotoShoppers, ruining all the fun of freak mammal finds for the rest of us.)

Between this critter of the South and the Alpine four-eared kitten, this is turning into the blog of mutant mammals. ... Whee!

Whedon Quote of the Week

"His job is a soul-sucking nightmare. And he's not prom king tonight, no sir, but he's part of why we got to have ten years total of shows on that network -- shows that wouldn't have lasted for... well imagine if they were on Fox. So factor that in. Later on."

- Joss Whedon on Jordan Levin

Quoting Fafblog, fit the fourth: Faf pie

Friday pie-blogging: Elite Saturday Edition

This is the Boston cream pie. It is creamy. It is rich. It is extravagent. It travels among the glitterati and the well-to-do and it is never out of place. It is so upper crust it does not need a crust. Everyone has good things to say about the schools it went to and the celebrities it hangs out with and its influential family. This is the old money pie.

And it is a good pie, a delicious pie, a pie as smooth and as silky as a limousine made of fur coats. But has this pie forgotten its roots? Has it become distant and cold to its fellow pies, like the earthy apple pie and the hearty pot pie and the homespun pumpkin pie? Or is all of this just the bitter whispering of jealous pies?

You are haughty and aloof, Boston cream pie and we resent you for it. But we resent you because we love you so. We crave your rich texture and priveleged upbringing. We pine for your easy socialite lifestyle and your creamy custard filling. Who does not want in their heart of hearts to be the Boston cream pie?

? posted by Fafnir

'Ware the Feminist/Fantasy Lit of DOOM!

Apparently, when I'm feeling young, I'm all rabbity, but when I'm feeling old, I'm Morgaine. Hmph.

Odd bit of trivia: three times in the past five years I've been told I somehow, impossibly, resemble Jacqueline Kennedy. I don't, but it's interesting to note, considering the below, which is patently untrue.

---

You're The Mists of Avalon!

by Marion Zimmer Bradley
You're obsessed with Camelot in all its forms, from Arthurian legend to the Kennedy administration. Your favorite movie from childhood was "The Sword in the Stone". But more than tales of wizardry and Cuban missiles, you've focused on
women. You know that they truly hold all the power. You always wished you could meet Jackie Kennedy.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

'Ware the Rabbit of DOOM!

You're Watership Down!

by Richard Adams
Though many think of you as a bit young, even childish, you're
actually incredibly deep and complex. You show people the need to rethink their
assumptions, and confront them on everything from how they think to where they
build their houses. You might be one of the greatest people of all time. You'd
be recognized as such if you weren't always talking about talking rabbits.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Keep on rocking in the third world

I retook the Country Quiz, as I think I may actually be less crazy than I was, say, seven years ago, but I still wound up as a fucked-up, third-world nation, though suffering less evilly than the last one. (Geezie-creezie, the poor Sudanese.) Lovely.

---

You're Cambodia!
Life's been really rough, but it's slowly improving.  You know way too much about the skeletal structure of humans, mostly from being forced to study it.  This has given you a fear of many things, most especially the color red.  The future has to be more promising though, and your greatest adversary can now never come back to hurt you any more.
Take the Country Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid

This is really funny in a really evil, horrible, awful way

You're Sudan!
Every time you get a headache, you reach for some aspirin, only to realize that someone destroyed it.  That's just how things are going for you right now... it's hard to eat, hard to sleep, hard to not have a headache.  You try to relax, but people always jump on you about something that doesn't make sense.  If you were a goat, you'd be a Nubian.
Take the Country Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid

Sharing with you

This is so beautiful, I'm doing bad, rude-internet-y things in order that you, Dear Reader, would see it. Baaaad kitty.

---

*snip*

I've decided to stop doing bad, rude things and just provide you with a link: CLICK HERE FOR A THING OF BEAUTY

Quoting Fafblog, part the third: the Medium Lobster bids farewell to the Gipper

Ronald Reagan: In Memorium

On Saturday afternoon, Ronald Wilson Reagan ascended bodily into heaven. Long may he be remembered, for single-handedly destroying the Soviet Union as it was poised to conquer the free world; for rising up in the form of a winged dragon and breathing the pestilence of AIDS forth upon the American continent; for his courage in providing arms to the people of Iraq, Iran, and Central America to defend themselves against the dark threats lurking in Iraq, Iran, and Central America; for his stunning tax reforms, which made jewel-bedecked sultans of the poorest paupers in the land; for his recklessly and disastrously bringing the world to the brink of global nuclear annihilation while following the dark whims of Biblical prophecy and astrological portents; and most of all, for coming to represent all our preconceptions of what America should and shouldn't be.

Was Ronald Reagan the best president? No, nor was he the worst. But the important thing is that now, long after his passing, he can be idealized, transformed and transfigured by time and ideology into a symbol of everything we desire or loathe in America, so that Ronald Reagan the man is utterly erased and replaced with Ronald Reagan the Icon, a convenient projection of our most feverish motivations in animatronic Hall-of-Presidents form.

When we keep our leaders larger than life, they become larger than our ability to rationally discuss them. We apply wondrous sobriquets, classifying the giants of the Oval Office with Catholic precision, making saints and Mysteries of men. Who can question the fighting spirit of the Happy Warrior, or the resilience of the Comeback Kid? The very invocation of their names becomes a sacrament or blasphemy, and as long as we keep their memories blown wildly out of proportion, we'll nnever have to confront them.

And how much more comfortable that is for us. The danger of Reagan the man, after all, is that we might learn from him. The man was real - a flesh and blood president whose triumphs and failings might lead us to question our own preconceptions. Reagan the Icon exists only in our mind, a creature of our prejudices and ideologies - a figure from unhistory who threatens to teach us nothing.

¶ posted by Medium Lobster

We love Neil Gaiman

"I was having an incredibly respectable telephone conversation with an extremely respectable person this afternoon, and the subject wandered over to Basque whalers, the way that it does, and I was explaining that whale meat was one of the few red meats that the Catholic church historically allowed to be eaten on Fridays and during Lent. 'And, oddly enough, beaver was classified as a fish too,' I explained earnestly and helpfully and accurately. 'So on Fridays and during Lent people used to eat beaver.' There was the sound over the phone of a very respectable and respected person making a sputtering sort of snorting noise, and I noticed that statement was capable of meaning rather more than I'd meant it to..."

an entry from Neil Gaiman's blog

Whedon Quote of the Week

"It's a crazy-quilt of infotainment that like to call a 'film', and it just may be the best one ever made. Or one of the ones in the middle. Probably not the worst... I'm thinking middle. High middle. So buckle up and get ready for that patented Joss Whedon 'high-middle' excitment."

- Joss Whedon on Serenity

God of comics!

Hi, Hal!

I have a say in what you see on your tee-vee

Interesting that I was contacted to do this viewer response thing to "Dads" a week after my sister's family was one of the Nielsen families. I made her TiVo the last episode of "Angel," so I think that may have had an effect on her results. Who knows.

Still, I find it somewhat ironic that the networks cancel my favorite shows one after the other and then ask for my opinion on their programming. Rat bastards.

At any rate, I watched the tape on Wednesday. It was...bad. I think I've seen an episode of it before, as I had a definite sense of deja vu while watching. It was a show about single, divorced dads coping with dad-hood. It actually could have been good, but mostly it was just very, very, very bad. The writing was dreadful, the direction/editing were horrendous, the kid actors made me wish for a killer clown to show up at the boy-child's birthday party, and one of the best-friend dads was so awful I hoped his ex-wife would pull a Lorena on him.

After a certain point, I wondered if they weren't sending out these tapes just to get the surveyed to watch television ads (couldn't fast forward the tape without messing it up due to its SPACE AGE TECHNOLOGY). The show was that bad.

Turns out they were actually interested in the response to the show, not the ads.

They called me about it today, and I told them the writing sucked and that the children must die horrible deaths. Well, not like that exactly, that would be rude, but something like that. Mom has done one of these before and says that it's unusual for the surveyor to ask questions which do not have preset answers from which the questioned chooses. I was allowed multiple sentence answers. I got very specific, but also mentioned I'd give any show a chance so long as it isn't a "reality" show. This is actually true. I've watched a lot of shitty sit-coms and hour-long dramas. When I say "CSI" blows chunks, you can trust I'm speaking from viewing experience and not out of my over-opinionated ass. If they got rid of a few of the actors, the writing team, and the director, the show might work. As it is, it cannot withstand the juggernaut which is "Two and a Half Men," currently the king of single-divorced-dad comedy.

Whedon Quote of the Week

"What they wanted to change didn't hurt the show at all. It was just when they didn't want to make it anymore ... I disagreed with that note. 'Stop filming' was a note that, I said, 'I don't really get where you're going here.'"

-Joss Whedon on Firefly's abbreviated run on FOX

Good news for mutant cat, bad news for the X-Men in search of a pet

Looks like the four-eared kitten was adopted. Cute and fuzzy four-eared cats are obviously mutants, but

“She is not a mutant,” Loedermann said. “She’s just a plain and ordinary kitten.”

so I don't know what's up with that. I'd have taken her in, except I live on another continent, across an ocean, and I already live with two cats.

"She’s a bundle of energy but likes to be cuddled.”

Aw, how cute!

What pisses me off is the Alpine animal shelter had the temerity to neuter this wondrous specimen of four-eared felinity. Jerks. How dare they refuse to allow this Gene of Four Ears to continue. Bastards!

SPACE AGE TECHNOLOGY...in your very own HOME!

The tape I was sent to review a half-hour show (called "Dads", which doesn't bode well) ERASES ITSELF AS THE TAPE PLAYS. *cue moog music* Ooo-ooo-oo-oooooh!

This means I actually have to pay attention the entire damned tape, 'cause I can't rewind and rewatch something I missed. They obviously are not tailoring to the DVR viewer, who has accustomed herself to backing up to something she didn't quite catch or thought was especially funny. *sigh* Don't they realize I don't have that kind of attention span for things not printed or written down?

There's a packet I have to fill out before I watch the tape and a packet I have to fill out after I watch the tape. I don't get any money for this, but I am eligible to win cash and prizes worth $75. BFD. This is a lot of work just for the idea of potential money. Too bad I'm so dedicated to the idea of improving television (more Whedon! less "reality"!), or I could blow this project off this afternoon.

Ah, well, it'll give me something to do now that I'm done rereading the Vicky Bliss mysteries.

Whedon Quote of the Week

"Maybe I'm just a dumb softie -- or a subtly brilliant softie. So subtle, in fact, that it cannot be picked up by human beings or any machines."

-Joss Whedon

Good night, Angel

I want to thank all of the blessedly creative geniuses who have brought us the wonderful "Angel" these past five seasons. I'm very surprised and upset that The WB has decided to cancel "Angel" while it is obviously at its peak. The massive changes made this season, while disturbing to some fans, truly revitalized the show. I was very much looking forward to watching "Angel" for at least another couple of years, especially considering its relative success in the ratings (#2 show on The WB for 18-34 year olds, by The WB's own statement). I certainly hope that someone reconsiders and that "Angel" continues to grow and improve before our eyes. If it does not, all I can say is thank you very much, "Angel" cast & crew, for showing us the dark and sticky yet kinda funny and perversely lovely demonic underbelly of Hell A.

And heaven help you, Joss Whedon. You must've done something truly evil (like Big Bad evil) in a past life to suffer this crap these past couple of years. Sheesh. You poor bastard.

Quote of the Day

"There's no 'I' in 'TEAM.' There is an 'M' and an 'E,' though."

-Carson Kressley

P.S., Maggie...

Congrats on the new digs. Wish I could have come to the housewarming party. Please re-email me your new address so's I can send your housewarming gift to you. Cheers.

Now that's just really weird

ET, is it just me or does Lynndie England, the woman who took part in the torture of inmates in Abu Ghraib, look a bit like a thin version a certain smelly-footed female whose presence in NYC caused Manhattan Island to sink about six feet into the rivers?

My mom won't get this

...'cause she never read Dune, nor would she sit still for the movie. So, I had to share with you. 'Cause it had me running into the living room, laughing so hard I doubled over. But I could tell Mom 'cause she doesn't know about Spice. And now I suddenly miss my superdork dad, who has read every single book in the series and would laugh, too.

from Fafblog!: I been in the War thing coverin the War. Fafnir is an embedded reporter. ... Already three of the men have been eaten by Sandworms. But the General says we will not leave Iraq until we have siezed Saddam and the mysterious Spice, for he who controls the Spice controls the universe.

"Damned lies" and the lying liars who tell them

I have little to do, other than study and write final papers. This means I've been able to watch and listen to much of the Congressional hearings with Rumsfeld on C-SPAN and C-SPAN2. At times I've been so angry I've had to leave the room and wander to the computer or to a book or to the fridge and pretend I'm not hearing what I'm hearing. The expression on Rumsfeld's face when he's confronted by Senators and Representatives from both (both) sides of the aisle asking intelligent and reasonable questions is...sigh I wish to God someone would just smack that look off his face. Like my sister E-- used to say when she was little, "He needs a mommy." Or to go back to kindergarten. Something. He's missing primal training.

I can't address what happened to those prisoners. I can't address the photographs. I can't address the response from the executive branch. I just don't have the words. Other people have addressed them much better than I (check out Terry Karney's blog, for one). So, I'll just quote "pfarley"'s LJ:

Thus spake Rumsfeld

Dear Citizens of the Earth;

Please judge America by our ideals rather than our actions; and likewise, judge our enemies by their actions rather than their ideals.

Otherwise, we'll fuck your shit up.

cheers,
Donald Rumsfeld
Secretary of Defense
USA

"Lies, damned lies, and statistics"

Maggie's blog says only, "Coming soon." This is a lie. There is no soon. Not at all coming soon. Far away from soonness. Lies, all lies. Except for the name, which is true. And the orange and pink, which are very real and scary and true.

But at least ET posted again. Shiny!

Getting all quoty with the Fafblog again

I fear you are not reading Fafblog, which means you have not been reading entries such as the following, which I am quoting in its entirity 'cause I'm too lazy to edit:

prematurely airconditioned supermarket

So last night I was in this prematurely airconditioned supermarket and there were these aisles and aisles of bathing caps, an they had these sorta fourth of July plumes on em, and they were red, and blue, and yellow, and I wasnt tempted to buy them but they did remind me that I had been avoidin the beach.

"Chris" I says to Chris cause he's the one I talk to about the beach, "I wanna go to the beach."
"Blah blah blah," says Chris who is eatin chicken. "Talk talk talk."
"Chris you are so unhelpful," says me.
"Blah talk blah. Talk talk blah."

So I take the bus instead. The bus is big and old and smelly and ugly and the bus is all "Nggghhh the bus hates the beach, the bus doesnt go to the beach" and I go all "fooey to you the bus" and so I decide to walk to the beach as it is a pleasant sunny day and I see all kinds of interesting things on the way like several stop signs and Giblets and an old coke can.

"Hey Giblets I am goin to the beach!" says me.
"The beach is insolent," says Giblets. "Besides you hate the beach."
"That's not true," says me.
"Talk blah talk. Blah blah talk."

When I get to the beach there is a huge beach monster there with enormous sharp teeth comin out of the sand. "Hey beach monster," says me. "RGGNRAAAFFRRRR" says the beach monster and it jumps for me and about fifty other Fafnirs all running away from it. "Run Fafnir!" say the other Fafnirs. "Aaaa!" says me and I start runnin.

I stop to rest in this prematurely airconditioned supermarket and there are these aisles and aisles of bathing caps, an they have these sorta fourth of July plumes on em, and they are red, and blue, and yellow, and Im not tempted to buy them but they do remind me that I have been avoidin the beach.

Stupid bathing caps.

And then, once more, need I repeat, there are the comments, some of which go approximately thuswise, while this one in specific goes specifically thisway:

I live far far from any beaches, but my hometown is still awash with migratory beach monsters seeking work. They snarl and they hiss but they don't mean it in their hearts, the homesickness has sucked all the fierceness from them.

"Rar rar" says the beach monster.

"I know", says I, "I feel you pain"

See? You need to be reading this, even though the punctuation and spelling is occasionally of the crappy variety, which you can apparently tolerate, considering you're reading my blog right now, which is only of the sugarkat and not the fafnir variety and therefore not as forgivable in its crappy English (e.g., this run-on sentence).

Read! Read! Go! Read! Frrraaaaaagh!

I quote in fullness of quoting statements endquote

This is why I read Fafblog:

what do you do with a problem like Fallujah?

Well we are pulling out of Fallujah it looks like. Now I know a lot of gloomy guses out there are gonna talk about appeasement and the downfall of the occupation and encouraging insurgents but yknow what, I think this pullin-out-and-leavin-crazy-Iraqi-militia-alone-under-a-Baathist-general plan might be on just the right track.

Remember that old episode of The Cosby Show where Theo wants to move out of his house and go live in the real world so Dr Huxtable goes and sets up his house as "The Real World Hotel" where Theo is charged for rent and food and cant afford to eat or sleep and has to say "Aw dad man was I stupid in this episode!" and his dad says "Thassalright son have a Jello pudding pop!" Ha ha! That was a great episode.

Well the moral of that episode is "be careful what you wish for because sometimes you're actually stupid" which is a valuable lesson we all should learn. What the US should do is give full sovereignty to all of Fallujah and put crazy Sunni militias in charge. At first they will be like "Awwwwright! Party in the mosque all Friday long!" but pretty soon they will learn that with Great Power Comes Great Responsibility and people will start comin up to them sayin hey crazy Sunni militias where's my electricity? and Hey crazy Sunni militias where's my job? and Hey crazy Sunni militias what happened to that universal health care plan you promised us? and crazy Sunni militias will learn the perils of incumbency.

Meanwhile the US will be back in limited-sovereignty Iraq goin "Oh what's that crazy Sunni militias you don't want to run Fallujah anymore? Oh well" and they will apologize profusely and US ambassador to Iraq John Negroponte will put a fatherly hand around their shoulder, give them a Jello pudding pop and a summary execution. And everybody will have a big laugh it'll be fun!

Anyway.

CORRECTION: In the previous version of this post Fafblog referred to crazy Sunni militias as "Moqtada al Sadr," who is not holed up in Fallujah. Also Fafblog referred to Iraq as "Candyland," President Bush as "convicted child molester President Bush," and Supreme Court Justice David Souter as "the argument from supervenience." Fafblog regrets the error.

What makes it even better is you look in the comments and see posting like this:

If I were the prez I would put this plan into action and call it Operation Combustable Huxtable and it would work I tell you what.

Shiny pate

I figured out why Jeter's having such a rough time of it this season. It's not that he has to play with A-Rod and all that that entails. It's not that the clubhouse has more new faces than familiar. It's not that he's getting old or that he's injured or that last year's injuries are getting to him.

It's that Don Zimmer isn't on the bench anymore.

Before every at-bat, Jeter would take off Zim's hat and rub his round, bald head for good luck. He'd been doing this since, I believe, 1996, since pretty much the very beginning of his big league career. Now, all of a sudden, that shiny pate is no longer there. The routine is messed up. Jeter's whole vibe is now off-kilter before every at-bat. It's not like he can do the same with Willy Randolph: Randolph has too much hair (and dignity). No, Jeter's without lucky bald head to rub. It's now over on the Tampa Bay bench, of all places, where the kids are completely unaware of the awesome power of Zim's bald head.

Poor Jeter. I hope he really is getting his equilibrium back. He's now hit safely in three straight games, going 3 for 6 yesterday. We'll see in a week's time if he's truly gotten over this hitch in his routine and realized he can fly without the crow feather.

This site is for the poet in Sheep Boy

Sheep Poetry Generator.

I believe the name says it all. Clickety-click!

Hey, lookie here

I was surfing around, not really looking for anything, when I came across this piece of fanart. I kinda liked it, considering it's fanart, as it has Nightcrawler, who's one of my all-time favorite X-men, Brooklyn from Gargoyles, and Hellboy, of whom I've become quite fond since seeing the super-fun movie.

Yay! Gargoyles!

Can't help lovin' that short stop of mine

The New York Times > Sports > Baseball >:

Jeter, Anemic at 0 for 32, Is a Crusher at 1 for 33

"Yogi Berra has forgotten some details, but he knew the length of his worst hitless streak, the way he broke out of it and the opponent when he did. Decades later, Derek Jeter provided the historical symmetry to an epic slump.

"In his first at-bat against the Oakland Athletics' Barry Zito last night, Jeter crushed a first-pitch homer deep over the left-center field wall near Monument Park at Yankee Stadium. The blast emphatically ended a slide that had reached 0 for 32, a figure that was familiar to Berra, the Yankee Hall of Famer.

" 'It's funny,' Berra said before last night's game, a 7-5 Yankee victory. 'I went 0 for 32 once. I hit a home run the next time up.' The home run, he added, was against the Kansas City Athletics, a forerunner of the Oakland team."

cue creepy '50s sci-fi moog Ooo-oo-oo-oooo!

Jeter and Yogi. Please also note that the HR wound up in the netting over Monument Park. He's so future HOF. I'll never cheer for that Rodriguez fellow the way I cheer for Jeter.

Oh, this just craked me the hell up

Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with Katosis not the real name...edited to protect my web anonymity
Cause:	too much sleep
Symptoms:	hovering, occasional déjà vu, liver pain, frequent diarrhoea
Cure:	electroshock therapy
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:

For an even bigger laugh, type in Sugar Kat into the name spot above. Tra la. I kinda like this response better....

...and this was my first and family names:

Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with -- --itis
Cause:	influence of the Devil
Symptoms:	groin swelling, extremely inability to pronounce letter 'c', steam whistling from ears, pimples
Cure:	fresh air
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:

Wah! This makes me happy for some strange reason

You are a GRAMMAR GOD!


If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!


How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yay!

I saw Hellboy this Saturday! So happy! Yay my mom!

Liked it muchly, but that might be because I wasn't expecting much of it and came at it in terms of it being a movie, not in terms of how it interpreted the comic book. It was fun and funny and a little creepy, but mostly funny and fun. I suspect comic book fans might have been screaming, "Aw, fuck! Fuck! No! Shit! No! That's not--! Auugh! Bastards!" or some such, but I laughed and enjoyed myself immensely (the dialogue was occasionally stilted, but in a comic-book-y kind of way, so I accepted it for what it was).

Whee! Comic book movies!

I kinda want to see it again, mostly for Ron Perlman's performance, which I loved. My mom really liked the movie, too. She said now she has to get some huge-ass widescreen television so she can watch the Hellboy DVD appropriately. She adored Hellboy the character. Called him a "unique and very human superhero." (She collected Superman comics when she was a kid in the 1940s and '50s and feels herself to be an expert on the genre for some reason.) She now REALLY wants to go see Van Helsing. My crazy mom.

So, that's two thumbs up from the women of the Sugar Kat household for Hellboy.

From Salon: Hand wash, drip dry, insult president

By Melanthia Mitchell

April 23, 2004 | SEATTLE (AP) -- Clothes can make a statement. Urban-bag designer Tom Bihn has discovered that labels can, too. Bihn's sales have doubled since a French-language presidential insult mysteriously made its way onto the bilingual washing instructions for hundreds of his laptop bags and backpacks.

The labels read: "Nous sommes desoles que notre president soit un idiot. Nous n'avons pas vote pour lui."

Translated into English: "We are sorry that our president is an idiot. We didn't vote for him."

Bihn's self-titled company has drawn national media attention and sparked Internet chatter since a Seattle customer spotted the insult and posted a photo of his bag's label on his Web log.

Bihn is careful to note that the tag doesn't specify who "our president" refers to.

"I'm going with the idea that it's a joke about me, the president of the company," Bihn said Thursday, but "clearly when you use the word 'idiot' and 'president' in the same sentence people jump to other conclusions."

Bihn, 43, said he knew nothing of the tag until calls and e-mails started coming in from people around the country asking for "the bag with the label."

Bihn figures about 2,000 labels were printed and hundreds had been sewn into his bags in the past five to six months.

About 500 labels remain, and Bihn continues to use them. He also has given them to customers who want just the label.

The company also has rolled out a line of "French Label" T-shirts with the enlarged label silkscreened onto the front. The company says all profits from the shirts are donated to the Seattle Vet Center.

Bihn, who has a Seattle store and a Port Angeles factory outlet, said he has gotten some complaints, but most people who call him say the labels are funny.

None of Bihn's 10 employees has taken responsibility for the tags.

"We're not really looking real hard because it's been really good for business," Bihn said. "If somebody admits to doing it we'll give 'em a raise."

Russians say fuck you to plastic-fantastic glamour-pusses

Found on die puny humans:

An unglamorous schoolgirl has become a feminist icon in Russia after she was entered for an online beauty pageant by a friend as a prank.

Alyona Pisklova - not her real surname - got at least 40,000 votes, making her the runaway favourite to represent Russia in June's Miss Universe contest.

But Alyona, 15, was disqualified ahead of the finals because of her age.

In a blow to convention, her supporters hit back with a website called "Say No To Barbie Dolls".

She collected at least twice the votes of her nearest competitor.

Quote of the Day

"FOX! Where the shit hits the fans."

-Tim Minear not too long after having to tell folks his brand-new show got the boot after four eps.

p.s.

Went to see Secret Window last night. It was a completely predictable and vaguely clichéd film, but in a kind of clever way. Johnny Depp made it well worth watching with yet another brilliant performance. Also had some nifty shots and cuts.

Saw The Fog of War this afternoon, which made me cry, which I generally don't do during documentaries about American history. It was super-good. See it before you see Secret Window.

If only I could've persuade Mom to go see the late show of Hellboy.

---

Please note that both Secret Window and The Fog of War had soundtracks written by Philip Glass. They were good, appropriate to the films, and very different. Kinda odd to see two films in two days of such different character and both of them having Philip Glass soundtracks.

Also note that all three films here are Sony releases of one kind or another. Complete coincidence, I assure you. Complete, freaky coincidence.

Michael Chabon reviews His Dark Materials

My brother forwarded this article from The New York Review of Books by Michael Chabon of Wonderboys and The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay fame: a highly literate and mildly disappointed review of Phillip Pullman's epic. I'm not sure I agree with everything Chabon wrote, but I found the review interesting. I especially liked the defense of the legitimacy of the genre which he puts in the beginning of the essay, a portion of which I quote here (without permission, bad kitty, so I'll put in this: the following quote is copyright © 1963-2004 NYREV, Inc.):

Like a house on the borderlands, epic fantasy is haunted: by a sense of lost purity and grandeur, deep wisdom that has been forgotten, Arcadia spoilt, the debased or diminished stature of modern humankind; by a sense that the world, to borrow a term from John Clute, the Canadian-born British critic of fantasy and science fiction, has 'thinned.' This sense of thinning--of there having passed a Golden Age, a Dreamtime, when animals spoke, magic worked, children honored their parents, and fish leapt filleted into the skillet--has haunted the telling of stories from the beginning. The words 'Once upon a time' are in part a kind of magic formula for invoking the ache of this primordial nostalgia.

But serious literature, so called, regularly traffics in the same wistful stuff. One encounters the unassuageable ache of the imagined past, for example, at a more or less implicit level, in American writers from Cooper and Hawthorne through Faulkner and Chandler, right down to Steven Millhauser and Jonathan Franzen. Epic fantasy distills and abstracts the idea of thinning--maps it, so to speak; but at its best the genre is no less serious or literary than any other. Yet epic fantasies, whether explicitly written for children or not, tend to get sequestered in their own section of the bookstore or library, clearly labeled to protect the unsuspecting reader of naturalistic fiction from making an awkward mistake. Thus do we consign to the borderlands our most audacious retellings of what is arguably one of the two or three primal human stories: the narrative of Innocence, Experience, and, straddling the margin between them, the Fall.

There's more. I recommend you read the article to get the full impact of the argument.

Those of you who have read the "trilogy" might be interested in this article, which, I warn you, is long. You might be able to tell from here that Chabon tied the series into Milton's Paradise Lost, to which, in part, Pullman was responding in writing His Dark Materials. I quite enjoyed reading the article, especially as Chabon refered to so many other fantasy and SF books, and pointed out that the Mrs. Cooper in The Subtle Knife might be a little reference to Susan Cooper of The Dark Is Rising fame, which is cool! (I don't feel stupid about not noticing that when I read the His Dark Materials "trilogy" as I hadn't yet read the The Dark Is Rising sequence so I couldn't possibly have noticed then. :p)

Also, there is another book in the series coming out (The Book of Dust), so it's a trilogy no longer (hence the quotes). Sorry, ET. Looks like you'll be waiting like the rest of us.

Quote of the Day

Ted Allen: Carson, this cheese is made by nuns.
Carson Kressley: Stop it! picks up cheese Praise cheeses!

Huh?

related searches: • elf • dilbert comics

"What D&D Character Are You?"(this is all ET's fault)

I Am A: True Neutral Half-Elf Ranger Bard


Alignment:
True Neutral characters are very rare. They believe that balance is the most important thing, and will not side with any other force. They will do whatever is necessary to preserve that balance, even if it means switching allegiances suddenly.


Race:
Half-Elves are a cross between a human and an elf. They are smaller, like their elven ancestors, but have a much shorter lifespan. They are sometimes looked down upon as half-breeds, but this is rare. They have both the curious drive of humans and the patience of elves.


Primary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.


Secondary Class:
Bards are the entertainers. They sing, dance, and play instruments to make other people happy, and, frequently, make money. They also tend to dabble in magic a bit.


Deity:
Silvanus is the True Neutral god of nature. He is also known as the Patron of Druids. His followers believe in the perfect balance of nature, and believe that nature's bounty is preferable to any other 'civilizing' method. They wear leather or metallic scale mail, constructed of leaf-shaped scales. Silvanus's symbol is an oak leaf.


Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy of NeppyMan (e-mail)

"Sanctuary! Sanctuary!"...X-Kitty looking for X-Men to shed black and white fur on

"Four-eared German kitten seeking good home":

Six-month-old Lilly, born on a farm in the southern state of Bavaria, has an extra pair of slightly smaller, non-hearing ears just behind the normal two. Vets attribute the phenomenon to a gene mutation.

'We want to find Lilly the loving home she deserves. She is very kind and not a monster,' said an employee at a sanctuary caring for Lilly and her nine normal brothers and sisters.

This one's for you, Maggie.

Farewell, Monkeybomb

Photo evidence of now-removed, much-lamented monkeybomb.

Quote of the Day

Steven Brust on writing his latest book:

Writing is like a tree.

Well, actually, it isn't at all like a tree.

Bizarre idea of the week

Okay, so the week's only just started, but to my addled brain (got a nice, huge whack on the forehead yesterday ... you can stop laughing now) this, from the City of Angel newsletter, is one of the stranger ideas I've run across. Angel fans are an interesting bunch.

An idea was born and is growing on the discussion boards at
SaveAngel.org. Across the U.S., and picking up speed in the U.K.,
fans are contacting local Red Cross Centers to set up March 17th as
the Save Angel Blood Drive Day. A PDF postcard is available for you
to send to Garth Ancier or Jordan Levin of the WB letting them know
we gave blood for ANGEL. We recommend that you visit the site where
you can find listings of venues near your home; also it is very
important to SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT for giving blood if possible.
While walk-in's are always welcome, it is recommended that folks
make an appointment as otherwise you might have a wait. If you can
not find a location near you maybe you can start your own blood
drive in your area!

Nonsense

"FBI Looks Into Latest Jimmy Hoffa Claims"

The FBI will investigate a purported deathbed confession by a former Pennsylvania Teamster official that says he helped dispose of the body of Teamster boss Jimmy Hoffa.

The confession, said to have been written by Francis Sheeran before he died Dec. 14 in a nursing home near Philadelphia, says he flew to Pontiac the day Hoffa disappeared in 1975, picked up Hoffa's body from his killers and drove it to a trash incinerator in Hamtramck, where it was cremated. [...]

Obviously untrue, as we all know that Hoffa is hiding in Halifax's anus, guarded by timber wolves.

Dangers of online communication

Every once in a while, I run across some text written by someone else, online, which makes me think, What an asshole. I'm sure this happens lots to other people. La, la, la, you're reading along on a bulletin board and, BAM!, your only response can be Man, what a bitch or Christ, what a jackass. Still, it's not fair, as you don't really know what the person's tone of voice was or sometimes even the real personality of the person posting. Context is everything, and postings on the web are somewhat without context. Meaning, you might be reading what that poster wrote incorrectly. (Or maybe you are right, but.... Well, it's just not kosher to respond in kind. Flame wars are stupid.)

This is all obvious, I know, and stated much better elsewhere, but I needed to write it so I wouldn't write something stupid and incendiary like, "You're a humorless asshole," in response to this guy.... sigh

Spalding Gray is dead

There's probably no one outside of my family who would hear of this and go, "sigh Oh," like I did when Mom told me today that Spalding Gray's Body [was] Found:

"The body of actor and monologuist Spalding Gray has been recovered from New York's East River two months after he vanished."

I really enjoyed the Demme film of Gray's Cambodia monologue. While I can't quote directly from it (I'm not very good at that sort of thing), I have seen the film many times. It's one of those which I'd sit down and watch if I caught it in the middle while flipping through cable channels.

He's gone, most likely a suicide, and that means there'll be no more chances at new monologues as good as Cambodia was. No, I didn't know him, but this, and that his wife and kids had to go through the two months of waiting to hear what happened to him then identifying his corpse, makes me sad. Guess I'm just pathetic that way. How sad that he had to live up to that stupid and horrible cliché of the depressed and suicidal author/artist.

I wish I had money, then I'd buy this for someone

Friends With You Plush Character - Shoe Baca at KidRobot

Shoe Baca comes with 2 detachable kidneys. They are not to be surgically implanted into small children. Except those without kidneys.

It's funny, yet notor Thank the good Lord I've never lived in Florida and therefore can avoid being, vicariously, the butt of national joke

Pax Christi USA >> News >> Statements:
"Media Advisory:
International Election Monitors Set
to Come to Florida in November
"... Pax Christi USA, the national Catholic peace and justice movement, will announce its plan to bring election monitors from the international community to observe and monitor the November elections in Florida."

They're coming to monitor "the election ... in an attempt to make the democratic process transparent and free of ... controversy" in Florida. Florida is now, like, Rwanda, but with fewer machette-wielding, baby-carrying, fellow-mommy-hacking young women. We hope.

Point and laugh. Don't think too much about it. Just point and laugh.

From an AP report on SFGate.com

666 Appears on Some 'Passion' Tickets

Associated Press
Monday, March 1, 2004


ROME, Ga. -- Tickets at one movie theater screening Mel Gibson's 'The Passion of the Christ' are being deemed decidedly unholy.

The number 666, which many Christians recognize as the 'mark of the beast,' is appearing on movie tickets for Gibson's film at a Georgia theater, drawing complaints from some moviegoers.

The machine that prints tickets assigned the number 666 as a prefix on all the tickets for the film, said Gary Smith, owner of the Movies at Berry Square in northwest Georgia. The 666 begins a series of numbers that are listed below the name of the movie, the date, time and price.

'It's from our computer and it's absolutely a coincidence,' Smith said. 'It has nothing to do with the film company or any vendor. It's completely in our computer.'

In the Bible, the book of Revelation says 666 is the 'number of the beast,' usually interpreted as Satan or the Antichrist.

[...]

The movie, which opened Wednesday, is a bloody depiction of Christ's final hours and crucifixion.

In Rome, Georgia, no less. That's what you get for opening on Odin's Day.

Razza frazza Blogger

Two things:

One, I've no idea where this post I can see when I click links to posts I made in February came from. It's not anywhere where I can edit it or delete it. It's just magically there in the not-quite-archives. It's not even there when I look in my archives. It's very annoying.

Two, I can't show you this random post because the permalinks which I should be able to use don't work. Blogger gave me effed up code. Not knowing anything about coding in HTML, I can't fix it, so I'm stuck with permalinks on my postings which don't work, but just bring you to the month on the whole in which the post referred to is. Arg. Naturally, if I could fix it, I would, but I've no idea even how to start. Gak. Grr.

My head hurts.

gasp Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Sci Fi Wire reports:

"Universal Pictures has green-lighted Serenity a feature film to be based on the short-lived Joss Whedon television series Firefly"

Joss Whedon, apparently, is not only slated to write the script, but helm the production, which is set to begin in June. Looks like all of the show's original cast will be there, which makes me happy. Article says Universal's expecting to release the film in 2005 some time.

Finally, some good news for Herr Whedon.

Cross-Mutant Enemy Casting Alert

Adam Baldwin is set to come to Angel as Eve's replacement at Wolfram and Hart, Hamilton. Whee! Jayne's working for the Serior Partners!

Advice

Unless you are very good indeed in separating two languages in your mind, don't try to comment on a blog post and translate a script into Japanese at the same time. You'll wind up with shitty grammar like this. D'oh! (My sincere apologies, Mister TheComicMan.)

At least, I'm pretty sure it's shitty grammar. Oh, lord. Now I'm all confused.

On a good note, the script for my skit is coming out rather well, even if I'm still working on it at 12:35 in the morning.

Another joke for the (dorky) kids you know

Two vultures are not allowed to board their flight.
Why?
Because their carrion luggage was rejected.

This family-friendly joke brought to you by A Prarie Home Companion newsletter.

A message from Mr. Whedon

I am a dork, so I'm subscribed to a newsletter from the City of Angel website which is about, naturally, the show Angel. The following message from Joss Whedon was in my e-mail this week:

"Some of you may have heard the hilarious news. I thought this would be a good time to weigh in. to answer some obvious questions: No, we had no idea this was coming. Yes, we will finish out the season. No, I don't think the WB is doing the right thing. Yes, I'm grateful they did it early enough for my people to find other jobs.

Yes, my heart is breaking.

When Buffy ended, I was tapped out and ready to send it off. When Firefly got the axe, I went into a state of denial so huge it may very well cause a movie. But Angel... we really were starting to feel like we were on top, hitting our stride -- and then we strode right into the Pit of Snakes 'n' Lava. I'm so into these characters, these actors, the situations we're building... you wanna know how I feel? Watch the first act of "The Body."

As far as TV movies or whatever, I'm not thinking that far ahead. I actually hope my actors and writers are all too busy. We always planned this season finale to be a great capper to the season and the show in general. (And a great platform for a new season, of course.) We'll proceed ahead as planned.

I've never made mainstream TV very well. I like surprises, and TV isn't about surprises, unless the surprise is who gets voted off of something. I've been lucky to sneak this strange, strange show over the airwaves for as long as I have. I don't FEEL lucky, but I understand that I am.

Thanks all for your support, your community, and your perfectly sane devotion. It's meant a lot. I regret nothing (except the string of grisley murders in the 80's -- what was THAT all about?) Remember the words of the poet:

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the road less traveled by and they CANCELLED MY FRIKKIN' SHOW. I totally shoulda took the road that had all those people on it. Damn."

See you soon.

-j"

And here's the petition stuff the Citizens of Angel sent me:

http://www.petitiononline.com/ai5d0162/petition.html
(65088 at last count)

http://www.petitiononline.com/angels6/petition.html
(32750 at last count)

Yeah, I'm contradicting myself, but thousands of names and e-mail addresses on some petitions might help. Okay, so probably not, but I can't find any postcards up here. Smalbany sucks.