Quoting Fafblog, part the third: the Medium Lobster bids farewell to the Gipper

Ronald Reagan: In Memorium

On Saturday afternoon, Ronald Wilson Reagan ascended bodily into heaven. Long may he be remembered, for single-handedly destroying the Soviet Union as it was poised to conquer the free world; for rising up in the form of a winged dragon and breathing the pestilence of AIDS forth upon the American continent; for his courage in providing arms to the people of Iraq, Iran, and Central America to defend themselves against the dark threats lurking in Iraq, Iran, and Central America; for his stunning tax reforms, which made jewel-bedecked sultans of the poorest paupers in the land; for his recklessly and disastrously bringing the world to the brink of global nuclear annihilation while following the dark whims of Biblical prophecy and astrological portents; and most of all, for coming to represent all our preconceptions of what America should and shouldn't be.

Was Ronald Reagan the best president? No, nor was he the worst. But the important thing is that now, long after his passing, he can be idealized, transformed and transfigured by time and ideology into a symbol of everything we desire or loathe in America, so that Ronald Reagan the man is utterly erased and replaced with Ronald Reagan the Icon, a convenient projection of our most feverish motivations in animatronic Hall-of-Presidents form.

When we keep our leaders larger than life, they become larger than our ability to rationally discuss them. We apply wondrous sobriquets, classifying the giants of the Oval Office with Catholic precision, making saints and Mysteries of men. Who can question the fighting spirit of the Happy Warrior, or the resilience of the Comeback Kid? The very invocation of their names becomes a sacrament or blasphemy, and as long as we keep their memories blown wildly out of proportion, we'll nnever have to confront them.

And how much more comfortable that is for us. The danger of Reagan the man, after all, is that we might learn from him. The man was real - a flesh and blood president whose triumphs and failings might lead us to question our own preconceptions. Reagan the Icon exists only in our mind, a creature of our prejudices and ideologies - a figure from unhistory who threatens to teach us nothing.

¶ posted by Medium Lobster

We love Neil Gaiman

"I was having an incredibly respectable telephone conversation with an extremely respectable person this afternoon, and the subject wandered over to Basque whalers, the way that it does, and I was explaining that whale meat was one of the few red meats that the Catholic church historically allowed to be eaten on Fridays and during Lent. 'And, oddly enough, beaver was classified as a fish too,' I explained earnestly and helpfully and accurately. 'So on Fridays and during Lent people used to eat beaver.' There was the sound over the phone of a very respectable and respected person making a sputtering sort of snorting noise, and I noticed that statement was capable of meaning rather more than I'd meant it to..."

an entry from Neil Gaiman's blog

Whedon Quote of the Week

"It's a crazy-quilt of infotainment that like to call a 'film', and it just may be the best one ever made. Or one of the ones in the middle. Probably not the worst... I'm thinking middle. High middle. So buckle up and get ready for that patented Joss Whedon 'high-middle' excitment."

- Joss Whedon on Serenity

God of comics!

Hi, Hal!

I have a say in what you see on your tee-vee

Interesting that I was contacted to do this viewer response thing to "Dads" a week after my sister's family was one of the Nielsen families. I made her TiVo the last episode of "Angel," so I think that may have had an effect on her results. Who knows.

Still, I find it somewhat ironic that the networks cancel my favorite shows one after the other and then ask for my opinion on their programming. Rat bastards.

At any rate, I watched the tape on Wednesday. It was...bad. I think I've seen an episode of it before, as I had a definite sense of deja vu while watching. It was a show about single, divorced dads coping with dad-hood. It actually could have been good, but mostly it was just very, very, very bad. The writing was dreadful, the direction/editing were horrendous, the kid actors made me wish for a killer clown to show up at the boy-child's birthday party, and one of the best-friend dads was so awful I hoped his ex-wife would pull a Lorena on him.

After a certain point, I wondered if they weren't sending out these tapes just to get the surveyed to watch television ads (couldn't fast forward the tape without messing it up due to its SPACE AGE TECHNOLOGY). The show was that bad.

Turns out they were actually interested in the response to the show, not the ads.

They called me about it today, and I told them the writing sucked and that the children must die horrible deaths. Well, not like that exactly, that would be rude, but something like that. Mom has done one of these before and says that it's unusual for the surveyor to ask questions which do not have preset answers from which the questioned chooses. I was allowed multiple sentence answers. I got very specific, but also mentioned I'd give any show a chance so long as it isn't a "reality" show. This is actually true. I've watched a lot of shitty sit-coms and hour-long dramas. When I say "CSI" blows chunks, you can trust I'm speaking from viewing experience and not out of my over-opinionated ass. If they got rid of a few of the actors, the writing team, and the director, the show might work. As it is, it cannot withstand the juggernaut which is "Two and a Half Men," currently the king of single-divorced-dad comedy.

Whedon Quote of the Week

"What they wanted to change didn't hurt the show at all. It was just when they didn't want to make it anymore ... I disagreed with that note. 'Stop filming' was a note that, I said, 'I don't really get where you're going here.'"

-Joss Whedon on Firefly's abbreviated run on FOX

Good news for mutant cat, bad news for the X-Men in search of a pet

Looks like the four-eared kitten was adopted. Cute and fuzzy four-eared cats are obviously mutants, but

“She is not a mutant,” Loedermann said. “She’s just a plain and ordinary kitten.”

so I don't know what's up with that. I'd have taken her in, except I live on another continent, across an ocean, and I already live with two cats.

"She’s a bundle of energy but likes to be cuddled.”

Aw, how cute!

What pisses me off is the Alpine animal shelter had the temerity to neuter this wondrous specimen of four-eared felinity. Jerks. How dare they refuse to allow this Gene of Four Ears to continue. Bastards!

SPACE AGE TECHNOLOGY...in your very own HOME!

The tape I was sent to review a half-hour show (called "Dads", which doesn't bode well) ERASES ITSELF AS THE TAPE PLAYS. *cue moog music* Ooo-ooo-oo-oooooh!

This means I actually have to pay attention the entire damned tape, 'cause I can't rewind and rewatch something I missed. They obviously are not tailoring to the DVR viewer, who has accustomed herself to backing up to something she didn't quite catch or thought was especially funny. *sigh* Don't they realize I don't have that kind of attention span for things not printed or written down?

There's a packet I have to fill out before I watch the tape and a packet I have to fill out after I watch the tape. I don't get any money for this, but I am eligible to win cash and prizes worth $75. BFD. This is a lot of work just for the idea of potential money. Too bad I'm so dedicated to the idea of improving television (more Whedon! less "reality"!), or I could blow this project off this afternoon.

Ah, well, it'll give me something to do now that I'm done rereading the Vicky Bliss mysteries.

Whedon Quote of the Week

"Maybe I'm just a dumb softie -- or a subtly brilliant softie. So subtle, in fact, that it cannot be picked up by human beings or any machines."

-Joss Whedon

Good night, Angel

I want to thank all of the blessedly creative geniuses who have brought us the wonderful "Angel" these past five seasons. I'm very surprised and upset that The WB has decided to cancel "Angel" while it is obviously at its peak. The massive changes made this season, while disturbing to some fans, truly revitalized the show. I was very much looking forward to watching "Angel" for at least another couple of years, especially considering its relative success in the ratings (#2 show on The WB for 18-34 year olds, by The WB's own statement). I certainly hope that someone reconsiders and that "Angel" continues to grow and improve before our eyes. If it does not, all I can say is thank you very much, "Angel" cast & crew, for showing us the dark and sticky yet kinda funny and perversely lovely demonic underbelly of Hell A.

And heaven help you, Joss Whedon. You must've done something truly evil (like Big Bad evil) in a past life to suffer this crap these past couple of years. Sheesh. You poor bastard.

Quote of the Day

"There's no 'I' in 'TEAM.' There is an 'M' and an 'E,' though."

-Carson Kressley

P.S., Maggie...

Congrats on the new digs. Wish I could have come to the housewarming party. Please re-email me your new address so's I can send your housewarming gift to you. Cheers.

Now that's just really weird

ET, is it just me or does Lynndie England, the woman who took part in the torture of inmates in Abu Ghraib, look a bit like a thin version a certain smelly-footed female whose presence in NYC caused Manhattan Island to sink about six feet into the rivers?

My mom won't get this

...'cause she never read Dune, nor would she sit still for the movie. So, I had to share with you. 'Cause it had me running into the living room, laughing so hard I doubled over. But I could tell Mom 'cause she doesn't know about Spice. And now I suddenly miss my superdork dad, who has read every single book in the series and would laugh, too.

from Fafblog!: I been in the War thing coverin the War. Fafnir is an embedded reporter. ... Already three of the men have been eaten by Sandworms. But the General says we will not leave Iraq until we have siezed Saddam and the mysterious Spice, for he who controls the Spice controls the universe.

"Damned lies" and the lying liars who tell them

I have little to do, other than study and write final papers. This means I've been able to watch and listen to much of the Congressional hearings with Rumsfeld on C-SPAN and C-SPAN2. At times I've been so angry I've had to leave the room and wander to the computer or to a book or to the fridge and pretend I'm not hearing what I'm hearing. The expression on Rumsfeld's face when he's confronted by Senators and Representatives from both (both) sides of the aisle asking intelligent and reasonable questions is...sigh I wish to God someone would just smack that look off his face. Like my sister E-- used to say when she was little, "He needs a mommy." Or to go back to kindergarten. Something. He's missing primal training.

I can't address what happened to those prisoners. I can't address the photographs. I can't address the response from the executive branch. I just don't have the words. Other people have addressed them much better than I (check out Terry Karney's blog, for one). So, I'll just quote "pfarley"'s LJ:

Thus spake Rumsfeld

Dear Citizens of the Earth;

Please judge America by our ideals rather than our actions; and likewise, judge our enemies by their actions rather than their ideals.

Otherwise, we'll fuck your shit up.

cheers,
Donald Rumsfeld
Secretary of Defense
USA

"Lies, damned lies, and statistics"

Maggie's blog says only, "Coming soon." This is a lie. There is no soon. Not at all coming soon. Far away from soonness. Lies, all lies. Except for the name, which is true. And the orange and pink, which are very real and scary and true.

But at least ET posted again. Shiny!

Getting all quoty with the Fafblog again

I fear you are not reading Fafblog, which means you have not been reading entries such as the following, which I am quoting in its entirity 'cause I'm too lazy to edit:

prematurely airconditioned supermarket

So last night I was in this prematurely airconditioned supermarket and there were these aisles and aisles of bathing caps, an they had these sorta fourth of July plumes on em, and they were red, and blue, and yellow, and I wasnt tempted to buy them but they did remind me that I had been avoidin the beach.

"Chris" I says to Chris cause he's the one I talk to about the beach, "I wanna go to the beach."
"Blah blah blah," says Chris who is eatin chicken. "Talk talk talk."
"Chris you are so unhelpful," says me.
"Blah talk blah. Talk talk blah."

So I take the bus instead. The bus is big and old and smelly and ugly and the bus is all "Nggghhh the bus hates the beach, the bus doesnt go to the beach" and I go all "fooey to you the bus" and so I decide to walk to the beach as it is a pleasant sunny day and I see all kinds of interesting things on the way like several stop signs and Giblets and an old coke can.

"Hey Giblets I am goin to the beach!" says me.
"The beach is insolent," says Giblets. "Besides you hate the beach."
"That's not true," says me.
"Talk blah talk. Blah blah talk."

When I get to the beach there is a huge beach monster there with enormous sharp teeth comin out of the sand. "Hey beach monster," says me. "RGGNRAAAFFRRRR" says the beach monster and it jumps for me and about fifty other Fafnirs all running away from it. "Run Fafnir!" say the other Fafnirs. "Aaaa!" says me and I start runnin.

I stop to rest in this prematurely airconditioned supermarket and there are these aisles and aisles of bathing caps, an they have these sorta fourth of July plumes on em, and they are red, and blue, and yellow, and Im not tempted to buy them but they do remind me that I have been avoidin the beach.

Stupid bathing caps.

And then, once more, need I repeat, there are the comments, some of which go approximately thuswise, while this one in specific goes specifically thisway:

I live far far from any beaches, but my hometown is still awash with migratory beach monsters seeking work. They snarl and they hiss but they don't mean it in their hearts, the homesickness has sucked all the fierceness from them.

"Rar rar" says the beach monster.

"I know", says I, "I feel you pain"

See? You need to be reading this, even though the punctuation and spelling is occasionally of the crappy variety, which you can apparently tolerate, considering you're reading my blog right now, which is only of the sugarkat and not the fafnir variety and therefore not as forgivable in its crappy English (e.g., this run-on sentence).

Read! Read! Go! Read! Frrraaaaaagh!

I quote in fullness of quoting statements endquote

This is why I read Fafblog:

what do you do with a problem like Fallujah?

Well we are pulling out of Fallujah it looks like. Now I know a lot of gloomy guses out there are gonna talk about appeasement and the downfall of the occupation and encouraging insurgents but yknow what, I think this pullin-out-and-leavin-crazy-Iraqi-militia-alone-under-a-Baathist-general plan might be on just the right track.

Remember that old episode of The Cosby Show where Theo wants to move out of his house and go live in the real world so Dr Huxtable goes and sets up his house as "The Real World Hotel" where Theo is charged for rent and food and cant afford to eat or sleep and has to say "Aw dad man was I stupid in this episode!" and his dad says "Thassalright son have a Jello pudding pop!" Ha ha! That was a great episode.

Well the moral of that episode is "be careful what you wish for because sometimes you're actually stupid" which is a valuable lesson we all should learn. What the US should do is give full sovereignty to all of Fallujah and put crazy Sunni militias in charge. At first they will be like "Awwwwright! Party in the mosque all Friday long!" but pretty soon they will learn that with Great Power Comes Great Responsibility and people will start comin up to them sayin hey crazy Sunni militias where's my electricity? and Hey crazy Sunni militias where's my job? and Hey crazy Sunni militias what happened to that universal health care plan you promised us? and crazy Sunni militias will learn the perils of incumbency.

Meanwhile the US will be back in limited-sovereignty Iraq goin "Oh what's that crazy Sunni militias you don't want to run Fallujah anymore? Oh well" and they will apologize profusely and US ambassador to Iraq John Negroponte will put a fatherly hand around their shoulder, give them a Jello pudding pop and a summary execution. And everybody will have a big laugh it'll be fun!

Anyway.

CORRECTION: In the previous version of this post Fafblog referred to crazy Sunni militias as "Moqtada al Sadr," who is not holed up in Fallujah. Also Fafblog referred to Iraq as "Candyland," President Bush as "convicted child molester President Bush," and Supreme Court Justice David Souter as "the argument from supervenience." Fafblog regrets the error.

What makes it even better is you look in the comments and see posting like this:

If I were the prez I would put this plan into action and call it Operation Combustable Huxtable and it would work I tell you what.

Shiny pate

I figured out why Jeter's having such a rough time of it this season. It's not that he has to play with A-Rod and all that that entails. It's not that the clubhouse has more new faces than familiar. It's not that he's getting old or that he's injured or that last year's injuries are getting to him.

It's that Don Zimmer isn't on the bench anymore.

Before every at-bat, Jeter would take off Zim's hat and rub his round, bald head for good luck. He'd been doing this since, I believe, 1996, since pretty much the very beginning of his big league career. Now, all of a sudden, that shiny pate is no longer there. The routine is messed up. Jeter's whole vibe is now off-kilter before every at-bat. It's not like he can do the same with Willy Randolph: Randolph has too much hair (and dignity). No, Jeter's without lucky bald head to rub. It's now over on the Tampa Bay bench, of all places, where the kids are completely unaware of the awesome power of Zim's bald head.

Poor Jeter. I hope he really is getting his equilibrium back. He's now hit safely in three straight games, going 3 for 6 yesterday. We'll see in a week's time if he's truly gotten over this hitch in his routine and realized he can fly without the crow feather.

This site is for the poet in Sheep Boy

Sheep Poetry Generator.

I believe the name says it all. Clickety-click!

Hey, lookie here

I was surfing around, not really looking for anything, when I came across this piece of fanart. I kinda liked it, considering it's fanart, as it has Nightcrawler, who's one of my all-time favorite X-men, Brooklyn from Gargoyles, and Hellboy, of whom I've become quite fond since seeing the super-fun movie.

Yay! Gargoyles!

Can't help lovin' that short stop of mine

The New York Times > Sports > Baseball >:

Jeter, Anemic at 0 for 32, Is a Crusher at 1 for 33

"Yogi Berra has forgotten some details, but he knew the length of his worst hitless streak, the way he broke out of it and the opponent when he did. Decades later, Derek Jeter provided the historical symmetry to an epic slump.

"In his first at-bat against the Oakland Athletics' Barry Zito last night, Jeter crushed a first-pitch homer deep over the left-center field wall near Monument Park at Yankee Stadium. The blast emphatically ended a slide that had reached 0 for 32, a figure that was familiar to Berra, the Yankee Hall of Famer.

" 'It's funny,' Berra said before last night's game, a 7-5 Yankee victory. 'I went 0 for 32 once. I hit a home run the next time up.' The home run, he added, was against the Kansas City Athletics, a forerunner of the Oakland team."

cue creepy '50s sci-fi moog Ooo-oo-oo-oooo!

Jeter and Yogi. Please also note that the HR wound up in the netting over Monument Park. He's so future HOF. I'll never cheer for that Rodriguez fellow the way I cheer for Jeter.

Oh, this just craked me the hell up

Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with Katosis not the real name...edited to protect my web anonymity
Cause:	too much sleep
Symptoms:	hovering, occasional déjà vu, liver pain, frequent diarrhoea
Cure:	electroshock therapy
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:

For an even bigger laugh, type in Sugar Kat into the name spot above. Tra la. I kinda like this response better....

...and this was my first and family names:

Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with -- --itis
Cause:	influence of the Devil
Symptoms:	groin swelling, extremely inability to pronounce letter 'c', steam whistling from ears, pimples
Cure:	fresh air
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:

Wah! This makes me happy for some strange reason

You are a GRAMMAR GOD!


If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!


How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yay!

I saw Hellboy this Saturday! So happy! Yay my mom!

Liked it muchly, but that might be because I wasn't expecting much of it and came at it in terms of it being a movie, not in terms of how it interpreted the comic book. It was fun and funny and a little creepy, but mostly funny and fun. I suspect comic book fans might have been screaming, "Aw, fuck! Fuck! No! Shit! No! That's not--! Auugh! Bastards!" or some such, but I laughed and enjoyed myself immensely (the dialogue was occasionally stilted, but in a comic-book-y kind of way, so I accepted it for what it was).

Whee! Comic book movies!

I kinda want to see it again, mostly for Ron Perlman's performance, which I loved. My mom really liked the movie, too. She said now she has to get some huge-ass widescreen television so she can watch the Hellboy DVD appropriately. She adored Hellboy the character. Called him a "unique and very human superhero." (She collected Superman comics when she was a kid in the 1940s and '50s and feels herself to be an expert on the genre for some reason.) She now REALLY wants to go see Van Helsing. My crazy mom.

So, that's two thumbs up from the women of the Sugar Kat household for Hellboy.

From Salon: Hand wash, drip dry, insult president

By Melanthia Mitchell

April 23, 2004 | SEATTLE (AP) -- Clothes can make a statement. Urban-bag designer Tom Bihn has discovered that labels can, too. Bihn's sales have doubled since a French-language presidential insult mysteriously made its way onto the bilingual washing instructions for hundreds of his laptop bags and backpacks.

The labels read: "Nous sommes desoles que notre president soit un idiot. Nous n'avons pas vote pour lui."

Translated into English: "We are sorry that our president is an idiot. We didn't vote for him."

Bihn's self-titled company has drawn national media attention and sparked Internet chatter since a Seattle customer spotted the insult and posted a photo of his bag's label on his Web log.

Bihn is careful to note that the tag doesn't specify who "our president" refers to.

"I'm going with the idea that it's a joke about me, the president of the company," Bihn said Thursday, but "clearly when you use the word 'idiot' and 'president' in the same sentence people jump to other conclusions."

Bihn, 43, said he knew nothing of the tag until calls and e-mails started coming in from people around the country asking for "the bag with the label."

Bihn figures about 2,000 labels were printed and hundreds had been sewn into his bags in the past five to six months.

About 500 labels remain, and Bihn continues to use them. He also has given them to customers who want just the label.

The company also has rolled out a line of "French Label" T-shirts with the enlarged label silkscreened onto the front. The company says all profits from the shirts are donated to the Seattle Vet Center.

Bihn, who has a Seattle store and a Port Angeles factory outlet, said he has gotten some complaints, but most people who call him say the labels are funny.

None of Bihn's 10 employees has taken responsibility for the tags.

"We're not really looking real hard because it's been really good for business," Bihn said. "If somebody admits to doing it we'll give 'em a raise."

Russians say fuck you to plastic-fantastic glamour-pusses

Found on die puny humans:

An unglamorous schoolgirl has become a feminist icon in Russia after she was entered for an online beauty pageant by a friend as a prank.

Alyona Pisklova - not her real surname - got at least 40,000 votes, making her the runaway favourite to represent Russia in June's Miss Universe contest.

But Alyona, 15, was disqualified ahead of the finals because of her age.

In a blow to convention, her supporters hit back with a website called "Say No To Barbie Dolls".

She collected at least twice the votes of her nearest competitor.

Quote of the Day

"FOX! Where the shit hits the fans."

-Tim Minear not too long after having to tell folks his brand-new show got the boot after four eps.

p.s.

Went to see Secret Window last night. It was a completely predictable and vaguely clichéd film, but in a kind of clever way. Johnny Depp made it well worth watching with yet another brilliant performance. Also had some nifty shots and cuts.

Saw The Fog of War this afternoon, which made me cry, which I generally don't do during documentaries about American history. It was super-good. See it before you see Secret Window.

If only I could've persuade Mom to go see the late show of Hellboy.

---

Please note that both Secret Window and The Fog of War had soundtracks written by Philip Glass. They were good, appropriate to the films, and very different. Kinda odd to see two films in two days of such different character and both of them having Philip Glass soundtracks.

Also note that all three films here are Sony releases of one kind or another. Complete coincidence, I assure you. Complete, freaky coincidence.

Michael Chabon reviews His Dark Materials

My brother forwarded this article from The New York Review of Books by Michael Chabon of Wonderboys and The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay fame: a highly literate and mildly disappointed review of Phillip Pullman's epic. I'm not sure I agree with everything Chabon wrote, but I found the review interesting. I especially liked the defense of the legitimacy of the genre which he puts in the beginning of the essay, a portion of which I quote here (without permission, bad kitty, so I'll put in this: the following quote is copyright © 1963-2004 NYREV, Inc.):

Like a house on the borderlands, epic fantasy is haunted: by a sense of lost purity and grandeur, deep wisdom that has been forgotten, Arcadia spoilt, the debased or diminished stature of modern humankind; by a sense that the world, to borrow a term from John Clute, the Canadian-born British critic of fantasy and science fiction, has 'thinned.' This sense of thinning--of there having passed a Golden Age, a Dreamtime, when animals spoke, magic worked, children honored their parents, and fish leapt filleted into the skillet--has haunted the telling of stories from the beginning. The words 'Once upon a time' are in part a kind of magic formula for invoking the ache of this primordial nostalgia.

But serious literature, so called, regularly traffics in the same wistful stuff. One encounters the unassuageable ache of the imagined past, for example, at a more or less implicit level, in American writers from Cooper and Hawthorne through Faulkner and Chandler, right down to Steven Millhauser and Jonathan Franzen. Epic fantasy distills and abstracts the idea of thinning--maps it, so to speak; but at its best the genre is no less serious or literary than any other. Yet epic fantasies, whether explicitly written for children or not, tend to get sequestered in their own section of the bookstore or library, clearly labeled to protect the unsuspecting reader of naturalistic fiction from making an awkward mistake. Thus do we consign to the borderlands our most audacious retellings of what is arguably one of the two or three primal human stories: the narrative of Innocence, Experience, and, straddling the margin between them, the Fall.

There's more. I recommend you read the article to get the full impact of the argument.

Those of you who have read the "trilogy" might be interested in this article, which, I warn you, is long. You might be able to tell from here that Chabon tied the series into Milton's Paradise Lost, to which, in part, Pullman was responding in writing His Dark Materials. I quite enjoyed reading the article, especially as Chabon refered to so many other fantasy and SF books, and pointed out that the Mrs. Cooper in The Subtle Knife might be a little reference to Susan Cooper of The Dark Is Rising fame, which is cool! (I don't feel stupid about not noticing that when I read the His Dark Materials "trilogy" as I hadn't yet read the The Dark Is Rising sequence so I couldn't possibly have noticed then. :p)

Also, there is another book in the series coming out (The Book of Dust), so it's a trilogy no longer (hence the quotes). Sorry, ET. Looks like you'll be waiting like the rest of us.

Quote of the Day

Ted Allen: Carson, this cheese is made by nuns.
Carson Kressley: Stop it! picks up cheese Praise cheeses!

Huh?

related searches: • elf • dilbert comics

"What D&D Character Are You?"(this is all ET's fault)

I Am A: True Neutral Half-Elf Ranger Bard


Alignment:
True Neutral characters are very rare. They believe that balance is the most important thing, and will not side with any other force. They will do whatever is necessary to preserve that balance, even if it means switching allegiances suddenly.


Race:
Half-Elves are a cross between a human and an elf. They are smaller, like their elven ancestors, but have a much shorter lifespan. They are sometimes looked down upon as half-breeds, but this is rare. They have both the curious drive of humans and the patience of elves.


Primary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.


Secondary Class:
Bards are the entertainers. They sing, dance, and play instruments to make other people happy, and, frequently, make money. They also tend to dabble in magic a bit.


Deity:
Silvanus is the True Neutral god of nature. He is also known as the Patron of Druids. His followers believe in the perfect balance of nature, and believe that nature's bounty is preferable to any other 'civilizing' method. They wear leather or metallic scale mail, constructed of leaf-shaped scales. Silvanus's symbol is an oak leaf.


Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy of NeppyMan (e-mail)

"Sanctuary! Sanctuary!"...X-Kitty looking for X-Men to shed black and white fur on

"Four-eared German kitten seeking good home":

Six-month-old Lilly, born on a farm in the southern state of Bavaria, has an extra pair of slightly smaller, non-hearing ears just behind the normal two. Vets attribute the phenomenon to a gene mutation.

'We want to find Lilly the loving home she deserves. She is very kind and not a monster,' said an employee at a sanctuary caring for Lilly and her nine normal brothers and sisters.

This one's for you, Maggie.

Farewell, Monkeybomb

Photo evidence of now-removed, much-lamented monkeybomb.

Quote of the Day

Steven Brust on writing his latest book:

Writing is like a tree.

Well, actually, it isn't at all like a tree.

Bizarre idea of the week

Okay, so the week's only just started, but to my addled brain (got a nice, huge whack on the forehead yesterday ... you can stop laughing now) this, from the City of Angel newsletter, is one of the stranger ideas I've run across. Angel fans are an interesting bunch.

An idea was born and is growing on the discussion boards at
SaveAngel.org. Across the U.S., and picking up speed in the U.K.,
fans are contacting local Red Cross Centers to set up March 17th as
the Save Angel Blood Drive Day. A PDF postcard is available for you
to send to Garth Ancier or Jordan Levin of the WB letting them know
we gave blood for ANGEL. We recommend that you visit the site where
you can find listings of venues near your home; also it is very
important to SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT for giving blood if possible.
While walk-in's are always welcome, it is recommended that folks
make an appointment as otherwise you might have a wait. If you can
not find a location near you maybe you can start your own blood
drive in your area!

Nonsense

"FBI Looks Into Latest Jimmy Hoffa Claims"

The FBI will investigate a purported deathbed confession by a former Pennsylvania Teamster official that says he helped dispose of the body of Teamster boss Jimmy Hoffa.

The confession, said to have been written by Francis Sheeran before he died Dec. 14 in a nursing home near Philadelphia, says he flew to Pontiac the day Hoffa disappeared in 1975, picked up Hoffa's body from his killers and drove it to a trash incinerator in Hamtramck, where it was cremated. [...]

Obviously untrue, as we all know that Hoffa is hiding in Halifax's anus, guarded by timber wolves.

Dangers of online communication

Every once in a while, I run across some text written by someone else, online, which makes me think, What an asshole. I'm sure this happens lots to other people. La, la, la, you're reading along on a bulletin board and, BAM!, your only response can be Man, what a bitch or Christ, what a jackass. Still, it's not fair, as you don't really know what the person's tone of voice was or sometimes even the real personality of the person posting. Context is everything, and postings on the web are somewhat without context. Meaning, you might be reading what that poster wrote incorrectly. (Or maybe you are right, but.... Well, it's just not kosher to respond in kind. Flame wars are stupid.)

This is all obvious, I know, and stated much better elsewhere, but I needed to write it so I wouldn't write something stupid and incendiary like, "You're a humorless asshole," in response to this guy.... sigh

Spalding Gray is dead

There's probably no one outside of my family who would hear of this and go, "sigh Oh," like I did when Mom told me today that Spalding Gray's Body [was] Found:

"The body of actor and monologuist Spalding Gray has been recovered from New York's East River two months after he vanished."

I really enjoyed the Demme film of Gray's Cambodia monologue. While I can't quote directly from it (I'm not very good at that sort of thing), I have seen the film many times. It's one of those which I'd sit down and watch if I caught it in the middle while flipping through cable channels.

He's gone, most likely a suicide, and that means there'll be no more chances at new monologues as good as Cambodia was. No, I didn't know him, but this, and that his wife and kids had to go through the two months of waiting to hear what happened to him then identifying his corpse, makes me sad. Guess I'm just pathetic that way. How sad that he had to live up to that stupid and horrible cliché of the depressed and suicidal author/artist.

I wish I had money, then I'd buy this for someone

Friends With You Plush Character - Shoe Baca at KidRobot

Shoe Baca comes with 2 detachable kidneys. They are not to be surgically implanted into small children. Except those without kidneys.

It's funny, yet notor Thank the good Lord I've never lived in Florida and therefore can avoid being, vicariously, the butt of national joke

Pax Christi USA >> News >> Statements:
"Media Advisory:
International Election Monitors Set
to Come to Florida in November
"... Pax Christi USA, the national Catholic peace and justice movement, will announce its plan to bring election monitors from the international community to observe and monitor the November elections in Florida."

They're coming to monitor "the election ... in an attempt to make the democratic process transparent and free of ... controversy" in Florida. Florida is now, like, Rwanda, but with fewer machette-wielding, baby-carrying, fellow-mommy-hacking young women. We hope.

Point and laugh. Don't think too much about it. Just point and laugh.

From an AP report on SFGate.com

666 Appears on Some 'Passion' Tickets

Associated Press
Monday, March 1, 2004


ROME, Ga. -- Tickets at one movie theater screening Mel Gibson's 'The Passion of the Christ' are being deemed decidedly unholy.

The number 666, which many Christians recognize as the 'mark of the beast,' is appearing on movie tickets for Gibson's film at a Georgia theater, drawing complaints from some moviegoers.

The machine that prints tickets assigned the number 666 as a prefix on all the tickets for the film, said Gary Smith, owner of the Movies at Berry Square in northwest Georgia. The 666 begins a series of numbers that are listed below the name of the movie, the date, time and price.

'It's from our computer and it's absolutely a coincidence,' Smith said. 'It has nothing to do with the film company or any vendor. It's completely in our computer.'

In the Bible, the book of Revelation says 666 is the 'number of the beast,' usually interpreted as Satan or the Antichrist.

[...]

The movie, which opened Wednesday, is a bloody depiction of Christ's final hours and crucifixion.

In Rome, Georgia, no less. That's what you get for opening on Odin's Day.

Razza frazza Blogger

Two things:

One, I've no idea where this post I can see when I click links to posts I made in February came from. It's not anywhere where I can edit it or delete it. It's just magically there in the not-quite-archives. It's not even there when I look in my archives. It's very annoying.

Two, I can't show you this random post because the permalinks which I should be able to use don't work. Blogger gave me effed up code. Not knowing anything about coding in HTML, I can't fix it, so I'm stuck with permalinks on my postings which don't work, but just bring you to the month on the whole in which the post referred to is. Arg. Naturally, if I could fix it, I would, but I've no idea even how to start. Gak. Grr.

My head hurts.

gasp Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Sci Fi Wire reports:

"Universal Pictures has green-lighted Serenity a feature film to be based on the short-lived Joss Whedon television series Firefly"

Joss Whedon, apparently, is not only slated to write the script, but helm the production, which is set to begin in June. Looks like all of the show's original cast will be there, which makes me happy. Article says Universal's expecting to release the film in 2005 some time.

Finally, some good news for Herr Whedon.

Cross-Mutant Enemy Casting Alert

Adam Baldwin is set to come to Angel as Eve's replacement at Wolfram and Hart, Hamilton. Whee! Jayne's working for the Serior Partners!

Advice

Unless you are very good indeed in separating two languages in your mind, don't try to comment on a blog post and translate a script into Japanese at the same time. You'll wind up with shitty grammar like this. D'oh! (My sincere apologies, Mister TheComicMan.)

At least, I'm pretty sure it's shitty grammar. Oh, lord. Now I'm all confused.

On a good note, the script for my skit is coming out rather well, even if I'm still working on it at 12:35 in the morning.

Another joke for the (dorky) kids you know

Two vultures are not allowed to board their flight.
Why?
Because their carrion luggage was rejected.

This family-friendly joke brought to you by A Prarie Home Companion newsletter.

A message from Mr. Whedon

I am a dork, so I'm subscribed to a newsletter from the City of Angel website which is about, naturally, the show Angel. The following message from Joss Whedon was in my e-mail this week:

"Some of you may have heard the hilarious news. I thought this would be a good time to weigh in. to answer some obvious questions: No, we had no idea this was coming. Yes, we will finish out the season. No, I don't think the WB is doing the right thing. Yes, I'm grateful they did it early enough for my people to find other jobs.

Yes, my heart is breaking.

When Buffy ended, I was tapped out and ready to send it off. When Firefly got the axe, I went into a state of denial so huge it may very well cause a movie. But Angel... we really were starting to feel like we were on top, hitting our stride -- and then we strode right into the Pit of Snakes 'n' Lava. I'm so into these characters, these actors, the situations we're building... you wanna know how I feel? Watch the first act of "The Body."

As far as TV movies or whatever, I'm not thinking that far ahead. I actually hope my actors and writers are all too busy. We always planned this season finale to be a great capper to the season and the show in general. (And a great platform for a new season, of course.) We'll proceed ahead as planned.

I've never made mainstream TV very well. I like surprises, and TV isn't about surprises, unless the surprise is who gets voted off of something. I've been lucky to sneak this strange, strange show over the airwaves for as long as I have. I don't FEEL lucky, but I understand that I am.

Thanks all for your support, your community, and your perfectly sane devotion. It's meant a lot. I regret nothing (except the string of grisley murders in the 80's -- what was THAT all about?) Remember the words of the poet:

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the road less traveled by and they CANCELLED MY FRIKKIN' SHOW. I totally shoulda took the road that had all those people on it. Damn."

See you soon.

-j"

And here's the petition stuff the Citizens of Angel sent me:

http://www.petitiononline.com/ai5d0162/petition.html
(65088 at last count)

http://www.petitiononline.com/angels6/petition.html
(32750 at last count)

Yeah, I'm contradicting myself, but thousands of names and e-mail addresses on some petitions might help. Okay, so probably not, but I can't find any postcards up here. Smalbany sucks.

Little gold man for Captain Jack?

I'm all happy.

Hollywood observers are shocked that Johnny Depp walked away with the top prize at the Screen Actors Guild Awards at the weekend, and there's now a strong feeling in the film industry that he could well surprise everyone and take the home the best actor Oscar on Sunday.

The rest of the tiny article goes on to explain that Sean Penn was the favorite to win the Oscar before the SAG Awards were given, with Bill Murray in second running.

First off, Huzzah for Captain Jack! That movie was fabulous, but Johnny Depp's Captain Jack was the centerpiece of the film. If it had been anyone else in the role, I don't think that the film would have held up. As it was, it was one of the most enjoyable films of the past year. That's the difference his role made.

Secondly, I'm not so hot on Sean Penn. Not so much the personal foilbles, being that he's a violent arsehole, but that I can see his acting when he's acting. He never embodies a role. He always shows the seams of his performance, letting you know he's using his craft, rather than just bloody acting. Also, I'm sick and tired of people crediting dramatic roles over comedic. It's a butt-load harder to pull off a comedic role than it is to lament over the death of your fictional daughter. The Academy is perfectly happy with drama that goes over the top, but they get all snobby once they're confronted with comedy (or SF/F, for that matter).

Which leads me to Bill Murray. He's had the performance of his career in Lost In Translation. I've always enjoyed his performances, but this is the one I knew he had in him since Groundhog Day and even more so since Rushmore. My trouble is deciding between Murray and Depp, but I still lean towards Murray. I loved, loved, loved Depp, but Murray's performace was brilliant. I'd be happy with either winning. Just so long as it isn't the overrated Penn or anything from that gawdawful Cold Mountain.

Quick! Before Maggie moves!

From a mailer I get from RightStuf.com:

*** Enlightening Young Minds... With Manga! ***
Set to appear in children's museums around the country, "Jump to Japan" is an
exhibit that teaches Japanese and Asian culture through popular art. Among the
displays will be areas for anime and manga, featuring video and print media from
titles like Pokemon, Yugioh, Shaman King, Nausicaa - there are even plans for a
life-sized Cat Bus from Totoro!

At the moment, "Jump to Japan" is running at the Children's Museum at the Seattle
Center in Seattle, WA. If you're in the area, be sure to stop by with your junior
otaku! And for more information, visit the Children's Museum homepage.

I hope it comes to the Children's Museum in Philly. ... There is a children's museum in Philly, right?

... Cat Bus! There's gong to be a life-sized Cat Bus! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

tee hee!

"Almost Boobs." Tee hee!

Whoops. Okay. Got that fixed.

Hey. Remember this post? Apparently there was some sort of server issue at Enetation.co.uk, which they insist they've since cleared up. I went to one of my commenting links and it seemed to be functioning. So, um, comment away.

Please note I've continued to refrain from saying anything about the A-Rod/Yankees thing.

p.s.

Thank you for the valentine, Halifax. I laughed and laughed....then Mom told me to shut up making so much damned noise, can't I laugh quieter, dammit, and I was sad.

p.p.s.

Thank you, Joss Whedon, for the image of puppet-Angel totting a big-ass sword over his shoulders. I laughed and laughed....then my mom told me I laugh like a horse and what the hell is wrong with me, laughing like that, I must've gotten that from my low-class father, that sunovabitch, and I was sad.

A joke for your five-year old cousin/nephew/niece/child

Q: How does the man-in- the-moon cut his hair?
A: Eclipse it!

"Family-friendly" joke care of The Prarie Home Companion Newsletter.

In other news

However, I did find this amusing. Anyone seen it before?

What do you do with a show bringing in target viewers? Dump it, apparently.or the a$$holes at FOX followed in suit by the d!cks at The WB

This is what the official WB website said about Angel: "ANGEL is currently The WB's second highest-rated series with adults 18-34. And yet what has The WB decided to do now that their number two show has hit 100 episodes? They're cancelling it. As the monster says over the Mutant Enemy card, Grr! Arg!

I'm posting the following here which I found on one of the response pages at Peter David's blog:

*
Quick Postcard Campaign to Save Angel

Unfortunately, emailing networks or posting in online petitions is a waste of time. As soon as they start getting emails, they set up spam filters to delete the mail and they don't ever see what comes in. Waiting around for somebody to organize something is wasting precious time--organized campaigns are going to be great but here's something you can do NOW.

If you want to actually do something that actually might--MIGHT--help to get another season for Angel...

DO THIS TOMORROW

1. Go and buy some postcards that show scenes from your city. Tourist postcards. Postcards that have the name of your town or city or area of the country on them. You don't need anything fancy, just something that will show immediately where you are located so they know this is coming from all over.

2. Write a short message on the postcard in your own words saying that you want Angel to be renewed and support the show. Keep it positive. Don't be insulting. Don't be abusive.

3. Address the postcard to one of the people on the list of addresses in this message. Levin may ignore the cards coming into the WB, but the media outlets will see there's a story in this and publicize it. The names on the list are in order of importance so start at the top and send as many postcards as you want to (or can afford to send).

4. Go and get at least six friends who probably aren't reading this on the internet but would be willing to send postcards, and get them to do the same thing.

5. DO IT TOMORROW! Speed of response is what counts along with the size of the response. Don't wait for instructions from some group. Just DO IT.

Here are the addresses to mail your cards to:

Matt Roush
TV Guide
Box 500
Radnor, PA 19088-0500

The Hollywood Reporter
Attn: Cynthia Littleton
5055 Wilshire Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90036-4396

Entertainment Tonight,
Paramount Pictures Domestic TV
Roddenberry Building
5555 Melrose Avenue
Hollywood, CA 90038

Extra
Warner Bros
4000 Warner Blvd.
Triangle Building, 4th Floor
Burbank, CA 91522

Entertainment Weekly
1675 Broadway New York
NY 10019


TNT is the best possibility to pick up Angel since they've gotten good ratings with the reruns and do some original programming.

Turner Network Television
Attn: Robert DeBitetto (pres, original programming)
1888 Century Park East, 14th Fl.
Los Angeles, CA 90067

Turner Network Television
Attn: Julie Wietz (exec vp. original programming)
1888 Century Park East, 14th Fl.
Los Angeles, CA 90067

Turner Network Television
Attn: Attn: Mr. Jamie Kellner, Chairman and CEO
1050 Techwood Dr. NW
Atlanta, GA 30318

Turner Network Television
Attn: Garth Ancier, Executive Vice-President, Programming
1050 Techwood Dr. NW
Atlanta, GA 30318


Rumor is that Levin doesn't accept cards or letters and they get returned, but a flood of mail might make news even if it doesn't get through

Warner Brothers Network
Attn: Jordan Levin, CEO
4000 Warner Blvd., Building 34R
Burbank, CA 91522
(818) 977-5000

*

And, if you want to send cards to Joss to express support and let him know the level of interest, here's where to send them:

Joss Whedon
C/o Mutant Enemy Productions
PO Box 900
Beverly Hills, CA 90213

And to send cards supporting the cast and crew:

Angel Productions
20th Century Fox
PO Box, 900
Beverly Hills
CA, 90213-0900


Now, if you actually want to accomplish something, make some news, and maybe, just maybe, get a sixth season for Angel...

DO THIS TOMORROW AND DON'T PUT IT OFF!

Also, permission is given to repost this message to other lists, message boards and other places that are interested in supporting Joss and Angel. Spread the word and let's do something quickly. Speed counts.
*

Not that I expect anyone reading this to do anything, but I thought I'd try.

How are you?

I've become an especially shitty e-mail correspondent. I've sent letters to folks, but few e-mail. No one who reads this blog has received either from me in a while (outside of birthdays). I actually do care how things are going for my friends, but I'm crap at writing e-mail. I just can't do it anymore. Feels so damned, I don't know, shallow, like I can't write with the right combination of casualness and gravitas required. I can't explain, really. I just can't think of anything to write which fits. So I write occasionally (more than occasionally of late) in my blog, as shallow and inane is fine for a blog. This means I have to rely on my friends sending me e-mails, to which I may or may not eventually send a response (not likely as I've been having trouble with my accounts), or on their posting responses in the comments on my blog, which no one has of late, to find out what's going on, as I'm completely incapable of sending out e-mail. Or calling. Lord forbid I pick up a phone when I'm not stuck on campus, bored out of my mind (when most everyone is at work).

Okay, so, how is everyone? If you are alive, please post as much in the comments. No further detail necessary, unless you're inspired. You can even tell me off on being such a lazy beeyatch that I can't even send e-mail to friends. Not like I don't deserve it.

Please note the complete lack of posting on the whole A-Rod/Yankees thing. cough

CATBUS!

You might remember, way back, I ranted about my lovely new Catbus bag which my buddy, C--, sent to me. He picked it up in Hong Kong, where he's been on assignment for his job at Toilet Paper (not its real name). He came back for winter break and shipped this over to me. I opened the package on the road to NYC and fell in love with my beautisimous Totoro bag and my snazzy Totoro cell phone mascot. Anyway, I'd promised I would post a picture of my bag on my phlog, so here's the picture. I took it just after I'd taken the bag out of the package and stuck my cell phone (bemascoted), my notebook, a pen, my wallet (Kerokerokeroppi), my lip gloss and face powder into the bag.

I looooooooooooove my Catbus bag! (I keep calling it my Totoro bag.) My nephew, P--, is a little jealous of it. He keeps asking me where I got it, as if trying to hint that it might be a good idea if I were to get him something like it. Fat chance, kiddo. I love you, but all catbus items are mine, mine, mine!

What a boring life I lead, Part II: travels of a sheltered American infidel

I've visited 5 countries and live in 1, which totals out to 6 nations, or 2% of the nations of the world of which I have seen a small part.


Create your own visited country map
or write about it on the open travel guide on World66.

What a boring life I lead, Part I: these united states

19 out of 50 (37%). That's just sad. Especially when you consider that they're counting D.C. for some reason and that I've lived in three states counted (NY, MD, CT).


Create your own visited states map
or write about it on the open travel guide on World66.

Oh, yeah, now I remember. I was f*cking miserable.

Okay, so I've been whining in my posts lately about how much my life sucks, blah, blah, blah. But going through my e-mail has provided me with this insight: it could be worse; I could still be working for corporate lawyers.

The following is from an e-mail I sent a week before I left my last job. Please note the bitchy tone. See? I've always been this annoying. Please note also that what I wrote in this bitchy e-mail was true. Truth in bitching. Aah.

Subject: corporate lawyers have no work ethic

I know this because I work with them and for them and deal with the ones in other companies. The one who will do his job thoroughly, actually perform the requisite due diligence, is the exception that proves the rule.

They are not scum. They are lazy. They are overpaid. If four people look at a document, all of them highly-paid lawyers with much experience and training and industry respect, and it's a flipping college drop-out who catches the error which invalidates the contract, I think there's an issue. I think there's a problem. I think I should be paid a HELL of a lot more, 'cause I'm doing their flipping work FOR them because they feel they're far too important to do the grunt work that is required of them.

I hate these people for their condescension and their excuses and their laziness. The ones here and the ones we deal with. I hope [my brother] never sinks so low as to pretend to practice law in a corporate environment. Because that's all they're doing: pretending. These people are as far away from actual law as I am. They're pathetic, and I have no respect for them.

Dubyah gets a groove on

I'm going through old e-mail (obviously). Found Dancing Bush sitting in an obscured spot. I'd forgotten how much I liked playing with it. Go, Georgie! Go, Georgie! You go, White Boy!

>> > Subject: [ Bra Sizes]

>>> >
>> > Finally...........there is a rhyme to the reason of the strange
>> > designation
>> > given to bra sizes:
>> >
>> > Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E and F are the letters
>> > used to define bra sizes?
>> >
>> > If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters
>> > stood for, here is the answer...
>> >
>> > A - Almost Boobs...
>> > B - Barely there.
>> > C - Can't Complain!
>> > D - Damn!
>> > DD - Double damn!
>> > E - Enormous!
>> > F - Fake
>> >

My favorite's "A - Almost Boobs...". It makes me laugh. Ha ha ha. ...Because of this I know I am a terrrible person. Still, "Almost Boobs." Tee hee!

Reading list

The following is a list of books I was required to buy for this semester's courses. This list was inspired by thecomicman's, which is better than mine as he is smarter than I am and a better student and therefore going to a better school and taking better classes. Also, I've been informed by a little roachbird that TCM can swear up a bluestreak which flames and sears the very heavens above. I've been informed by no less an authority than my younger brother that I sound like a complete and utterly dorky (in a bad way) ass whenever I attempt to swear.

Oh, yes. The list.

EAJ102 - Elementary Japanese II:

• nothing, just the textbook, workbook from last semester and a packet with extra assignments in it


ENG341 - Chaucer:


• The Riverside Chaucer
  plus A Chaucer Glossary for idjits like me who have trouble with Middle English


ENG450 - Images of the Writer in U.S. Culture:


• Reading Desire: In Pursuit of Ernest Hemingway by Debra Moddelmog


• Hemingway and His Conspirators: Hollywood, Scribners, and the Making of American Celebrity Culture by Leonard Leff


• Writing in the Real World: Making the Transition from School to Work by Anne Beaufort


• Wintering: A Novel of Sylvia Plath by Kate Moses


• The Garden of Eden by Ernest Hemingway


• On Writing by Stephen King

and a packet filled with badly written scholarly texts


EAJ385 - History of Japan II:


• Musui's Story: The Autobiography of a Tokugawa Samurai by Katsu Kokichi


• Four Major Plays of Chikamatsu translated by Donald Keene


• Harp of Burma by Takeyama Michio


• Modern Japan: A Historical Survey by Hane Mikiso


• Botchan by Natsume Soseki

Bad student, good napper

Of late I have not been able to keep my eyes open.

That statement is not entirely true.

Of late I have frequently not been able to keep my eyes open. When I can, I can't ever close them. I am alternating between pseudo-narcolepsy and insomnia. Mostly it's the sleeping and sleepiness. I can barely get myself to awlk up and down the basement stairs to get to my study spot.

My study spot is by the basement stairway, on the huge architect's table my eldest sister left behind when she moved to France. Ithas many sources of light and many Lord of the Rings action figures, including two Legolases, one six-inch, one twelve-inch, and teeny, tiny Merry and Pippin. Treebeard is going to come to the table soon to hold the teeny, tiny hobbits in his branchy hands. In the organized chaos there are: two Japanese dictionaries and a Japanese phrasebook; ten overdue library books; a candy jar filled with "Creme" Starburst; more index cards than I know what to do with; various items made of paper; two mugs of writing implements, one with Tigger and Pooh, the other with the Yankees logo; notebooks with last semester's notes; a giant dictionary I took home in an attempt to get some payback from a particularly nasty office; a globe; a Woody figurine; an electronic encyclopedia which no longer works; a photograph of my eldest nephew one Halloween about ten years ago when he was the kid from Where the Wild Things Are; and the books assigned this semester.

I am behind in my reading, as the books I needed to read arrived late (shakes fist at sky a la Jon Stewart on The Daily Show "Damn you, Powells.com!") and have had this irresistable urge to sleeeeeeep. When I have managed to get some studying done, I go to bed late, about 2:30 to 3 o'clock in the morning, and have trouble going to sleep. I can't stop worrying about everything I'm screwing up (credit card debt, familial relationships, friendships, academic standing, health, etc.) of late. Mostly I can't help but think that I just don't have time to go to sleep. I need to study. Study. Stuuuuudyyyyyy. This insomnia, naturally, aggravates the supreme sleepiness from which I've been suffering.

Oh, and there's the Incompletes I have to make up. Soon. Like, practically tomorrow. And I haven't done a damned thing except accrue overdue fees on library books.

I'm whining a lot. This is stupid and my fault and I don't know why I'm doing this to myself. It's bizzare. I've been given this second chance after fucking up so royally seven years ago. Maybe it's knowing that even if I get stellar grades and graduate with honors, I'll still have to be a secretary. I'll be heading straight back to the place from which I was desperately trying to escape by going back to school. Why oh why couldn't I be even slightly interested in being a comp sci major or a business major? Something which could get me a real job? Still, this is a stupid reason for being stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Entrails! Whale entrails!

Here's a picture. Here's another. Here's the story. Here's the story with more detail and a slightly better picture, what with the stuff pouring out in a wave. Enjoy!

Holy... Did you see that?

Um, two-headed baby. Seriously. Look: "Yahoo! News - Surgeons to Operate on Baby With 2 Heads".

Rather, look here. I mean, um, hey. Ear next to the mouth. Another ear on the chin. Nose, two eyes. Mom always told me that fetuses can absorb their twin. Sounded like something from an X-Files episode. Turns out, while rare, it's true, sort of. Really, the one fetus just stops growing, fused to the other. There's even a name for it: parasitic twin, craniopagus parasiticus, meaning the partially developed twin is parasitically dependent upon the fully developed twin.

"The head on top is growing faster than the lower one," said Dr. Jorge Lazareff, director of pediatric neurosurgery at the University of California at Los Angeles' Mattel Children's Hospital. "If we don't operate, the child would barely be able to lift her head at 3 months old."

I can't help but think that it looks like something ...oh, crap. The super-famous Hollywood prosthetic guy. One of his jobs. Or...remember the scene in Alien: Resurrection where the previous Ripley-alien merging results are kept in giant test-tubes? Like that. But, for real. Geezie creezie. The baby with the full body, Rebeca, is actually cute in that sweet, sleeping baby way. Will her parents ever tell her that she started off with two heads and that she wound up with the smaller one?

Although the second head is only partially developed, its mouth moves when Rebeca is being breast-fed.

Um. Oh. Eesh.

"You know, just off the top of your head."

quotes from AP article by PETER PRENGAMAN

Update

Poor little Rebeca died from a heart attack after the sugery. She lost a lot of blood, and her doctors believe that the stress of blood loss caused the heart attack. Poor little thing. It was pretty much an impossible procedure, but it had to be done. That second head would have destroyed hers in the growing process.

Second head. Oof.

Oh, my!

Just thought I'd show you how Blogger.com greets me every time I go in to edit my blog.

Welcome back, Sugar.

Every time I read this, in my head, I hear it read in the voice of the venerable Barry White.

Auuuugh! I hate not having money!

I found a present for Angry Rabbit. It would wait until, like, Christmas or something, as I just sent her stuff for Christmas and birthday and such. But it's, like, so Angry Rabbit circa 1998. Auuugh! I want to get it for her, but I can't afford it! This...this makes me so...I dunno...PMS-y. Grr. Whine. Stomp. Desire chocolate. Mm! Chocolate! Oh, yeah. Grr! Whine! Stomp!

I know it's just a stupid gift that I wouldn't be able to give in forever, but it's perfect. But too much for me to spend. It's $35 over my adult family member Christmas present limit. It's too much.

'Sides which, I still haven't made up for the Amazon address snafu with Sam not getting her present this Christmas.

But you know what I mean, right? You see that perfect gift and you think, That's it! and then you look at the price tag and say, Ah, shit. When I was working, I didn't care so much, but being unemployed and living off my mother and loans is a real drag on random purchases.

Please note I've yet to have that moment with a present for Halifax as the inspirational That's so Halifax! presents never cost so much that I worry about buying them. SheepBoy, yes. Maggie, Sam, D---, S---, T---, yes. But never Halifax. I wonder why.

Misc. cont.

I've been ordering a lot of my assigned books from Powells.com. In order to get the order up high enough that I can get free shipping ($50 limit for pete's sake! Amazon.com's only $25), I've been sticking in the volumes of Mars which I don't have. Which was all except the first two. The ones that Powells.com didn't have, I ordered from Amazon.com. Problem is, my orders have been dribbling in, and the Amazon.com orders have been coming in faster (not only is the free shipping limit lower, but the service is faster). So I have Mars volumes 1, 2, 5 and 10. Arg. I want to read my Mars! Grr! No, I can't read them out of order. I...I just can't.

I have to say Mars is the stronger addiction, currently, than Hot Gimmick, but it's easier to sate as the entire 15-volume series has been released in English, while I still have to wait on volume three of Hot Gimmick.

Also, Alice 19th is exceptionally cute.

Yay manga! Yay Tokyopop forcing Viz to start charging less than $10 for their books and making them proper manga format, right-to-left! All smiles.

Oh hey, while searching for a website link for Mars, I came across a manga discount retailer which sells strawberry Pocky. Why couldn't I have found them sooner? waaah! All that money spent on Mars and Ranma 1/2 and Inu-Yasha. Also, stawberry Pocky is the food of the gods. Deadly. Soooo deadly.

Yay! ...I think

You all know, of course, that NASA's decided to scrap the Hubble so that Bush II can have his ridiculous plan for the space station on the Moon and the manned flight to Mars. However, this AP story says:

NASA to Review Decision on Fate of Hubble.

Maryland's congressional delegation also sent a letter to O'Keefe on Tuesday urging him to reconsider.

'The scientific returns we have received from Hubble's service thus far have exceeded our expectations. ... We believe that NASA should make every possible effort to retain this proven window on the universe,' the letter said.

Without the servicing mission, which had been planned for 2006, the orbiting telescope is expected to stop working several years before its scheduled 2010 retirement."

Which means Hubble just might survive. The telescope has contributed so much to science. While the idea of a space station on the moon is SF-geek cool, I don't want to play spaceman if it means we lose the real, hard contributions to science of the Hubble. I've been furious since hearing of the Hubble's planned demise. It's good to read that other people have reacted as strongly as I have. There's even a website petition:
However, I recommend that folks contact their representatives and senators as well. Don't let them scrap the Hubble! sniffle Please?

Another book to add to the list of editions I want to buy when I make my first few million

The Works of Geoffrey Chaucer Now Newly Imprinted. London: Basilisk Press, 1975.

This is a limited edition facsimile of the Kelmscott Press production of Chaucer's works, held by many to be the most exquisite book of printed English literature. It was originally published in 1896 by William Morris with illustrations by Sir Edward Burne-Jones. It was the final book printed by Kelmscott Press under Morris and remains the only major effort to illustrate all of Chaucer's works.

Morris had a clear goal in mind when creating this edition: 'A book ornamented with pictures that are suitable for that book, and that book only, may become a work of art second to none, save a fine binding duly ornamented or a fine piece of literature.'

[ ... ]

That this edition was the crowning achievement for both men was not in doubt. Burne-Jones wrote, "Indeed, when the book is done . . . it will be a little like a pocket cathedral."

sigh Please note I'd even settle for a nicely printed replica from the `70's. And yet I still cannot get it. Being without money sucks.

Misc.

The snow didn't hit us too hard up here. Sure, we got a lot of it, but it wasn't insane. I'm sorry I can't say the same for my friends in NYC. Sorry, guys.

Oscar's arthritic hip hurt him so much this morning that he had to eat out of his bowl while lying down. Poor fuzzy.

I've a new addiction: Hot Gimmick, the manga by Aihara Miki.

Hm. It's 8:20 already. I'd better get back to Japanese. I'll probably add more later, as I've not much to say lately.

Oh, sorry I couldn't answer the phone last night, ET. I was feeling sickly. Bleh.

Ooh! What's this shiny, firey globe thing...?AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!...Hey, that hurt! Oh, hi Gandalf.... (whoops)

Whee! I'm still Pippin!


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Polly wanna cigar?

Naturally, you've all read about Churchill's 104-year old foul-mouthed parrot. "Fuck Hitler," she says, sounding just like the former prime minister of Britain. "Fuck the Nazis." How adorable.

Better yet, though, is the plethora of useless and possibly erroneous information to be found at this site. For instance:

"Robert Heinlein once used the sound effect "*spung*" to describe female nipples changing shape. This is yet more evidence that Heinlein was scary in a bad way."

D'oh

Whoops. Ten days late! Bad Sugar Kat. Baaaad. Baaaaad. Oh, well. It's already been proven via extensive testing that I'm more than a bit of an idjit. Tra la!

Case of the disappearing blogs

A year and a half ago, I was persuaded to start a blog. Everyone's doing it, I was told. You should, too. We don't read your e-mail, anyway. So, I started a blog. I've kept up my blog. I've wasted far too much time on my blog. It's not a good blog, but it's here so I don't have to write e-mail (which I've pretty much stopped doing all together).

So what is everyone I know doing? Stopping their blogs. No more blogging. Bleh-phooie upon the blog fad.

Now I'm debating with myself whether I should bother continuing with my blog, as it is not very good and I suspect my friends for whom I created it don't have the time to read a badly written blog to find out what's going on with me. You know, they, like, have lives and stuff, as illustrated by their no longer wasting precious time on something as idle as blog maintenance.

(As my blog so clearly illustrates, I do not have a life.)

Christmas continues...

Well, I don't know what I did to earn the loot, but the gifts keep on coming.

Doomo arigatoo gozaimasu to...

• D---, my brother's best friend from high school and almost a sister to me, sent me the Angels In America soundtrack, which made me very happy as I adored that film.



• Maggie, who will meet you at 8 at Ray's Pizza, she swears, who sent me the My Neighbor Totoro DVD, which also made me very happy as I also adore this film.

I have such good friends! :)

kingashinnen!

Gung Ho Fat Choy



Happy Year of the Monkey, y'all.

Whoops

First day of classes today. Japanese and Chaucer. Have not done a damned thing to help myself remember my Japanese except to watch Cardcaptor Sakura DVDs: they are in Japanese with English subtitles, so I can catch the spoken Japanese; the text is often in kana, as the characters are in elementary school and the intended audience is about that age, too. Other than that, I'm screwed (especially when it comes to vocab: adjectives, location, building names). Unless I really put a lot of work into it this weekend.

Ha. Yeah. Right.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ET!

wow. now you're thirty. that's old. like, i-hope-i-die-before-i-get-old old.

'course, i'm still older than you are, e.g., old-fartier.

welcome to MIDDLE AGE.
Halifax, Sheepboy and i got it all warmed up for you.

cheers! -ltsk

Return of the little trooper

Came back home Monday. Have done little but reset the DVR to shows which are returning and flip through Entertainment Weekly magazines which arrived while I was away.

I have not and probably will not finish the latest Honor Harrington book before the semester starts on Tuesday. It's difficult to focus on the book at this stage, even though I'm half-way through it, as I keep thinking about the movies I've seen instead of the book I'm reading. And nothing's happening in the book. I know something will, it's an Honor Harrington book, but nothing has and that does not stand up again memories of oliphaunts and ships of war and giants.

Halifax's novel is completely beyond my limited mental capacities this holiday break. I'm feeling guilty about that one. How soon do you need the critique, Mr. Slasher?

Mostly I just want to go see a couple more movies (saw Big Fish last Saturday, and it was good) and veg out. Unfortunately, I live in Smalbany, NY, where small films do not come and if they do come, they don't stay long enough for us to get out to see them. Also, I have work to do to prepare for the upcoming semester.

My brain's so dead, however, all I want to do is take the LotR personality quiz over and over again, as I'm just so dead thrilled to be Pippin.

Fool of a Took! the prequel

Made my mom take the Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you? quiz, and she got the following result, which is just so damned appropriate, let me tell you:


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That's just damned funny

You are going to marry Orlando Bloom. He will
always treat you right and is very romantic. He
will do anything for you. He is very polite and
has deep brown eyes and is very good looking
(which is another plus!). He can make anything
cheesy look really good (like sliding down
stairs on a shield shooting arrows or wearing
pointy ears for example). Congrats!!


Which male celebrity are you going to marry?
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Just wanted to say...

I don't care how fucking ugly Charlize Theron is in Monster--and therefore how brilliant an actress she must be, because pretty people making themselves ugly is what acting's all about, don't you know--I will not go see Monster. When I want to go see an independent film, I'll go see In America again, which was a very good and moving film about the fringes of American society with brilliant acting which did not require a lead to go from fashion model to bufugly in order to be considered a real actor.

Regarding the dog

It still smells bad. The dog. The places where the dog hangs out. They smell. Bad. I have to wash my hands every time I touch the dog, they smell so horribly of him. It's like OCD: pet the dog, wash my hands. Not because of germs, though that is a concern considering the creature eats his own shit, but because his body odor reeks and transfers easily. I gag when I bring my hand anywhere near my face after petting the dog. He smells that bad.

There is a reason that "dog's breath" is such a nasty thing to call a place or thing. Dog's breath is the only thing which smells worse than the dog itself.

Yeah. You read that right. He eats his own shit. Most of it is shoveled up quickly after his walk and put into a corner of the yard most people don't go. Unfortunately, the boys don't do this and apparently M-- and E-- are begining to slack. I know this because there are shit land mines waiting to explode in semi-frozen form all over my shoe as I follow the dog around the yard, waiting desperately for him to just take a g*ddamned piss already so I can go inside. Or, apparently, to become a tasty snack for the dog.

Yes, you have to dig cat poops (and clumped pee) out of the catbox every week, but they have been deodorized (usually) by the potent chemicals in the sand and are small. You use a scoop and transfer the emittance into a plastic bag and toss it into the garbage, never to been seen or smelled again.

Dog piss is everywhere, and dog poops must be moved immediately unless you want to step in them later. The only reason you'd step in cat poop is if your cat is sick and pooping outside of the designated defecation area.

Cats automatically go to their box as kittens. They want to poop in their sandbox. Dogs must be trained not to poop and piss everywhere they see fit. And even that's not a guarantee, as they get excited and apparently have exceedingly poor bladder control.

Cats just saunter over to their box and do their business. You have to take the damned dog outside and wait, no matter what the weather (and scoop the poop, too, when the dog's done).

Cats don't have B.O. They do have shitty breath, but not because they actually eat shit. They just can't brush their own teeth. Dogs stink. It's not a smell you get used to; your sense of smell has to die before you can stop smellling that dog funk.

Oh, and when a dog farts, you sure as hell know about it. It's worse than some people I know.

Dogs are nice to see for short periods of time. Not to own. Lord above, never, ever to own. What the hell was my sister thinking. She wanted a cat, who would shit in a box in the basement without asking, but she gets a stinking poop machine. Ugh.

Lookalikes on Turner Classic Movies

Turns out that our Maggie looks a bit like Kim Hunter as Stella Kowalski in A Streetcar Named Desire (1951). I would not know this if I didn't spend far too much time watching old flicks on TCM.

Observations regarding dogs

I will never own a dog.

They poop and pee everywhere.

They are horribly, horribly smelly.

They jump on your furniture and make it smelly.

Your hands smelly after you touch them.

They make your clothes smelly.

They jump on you, scraping you with their ridiculous, useless-yet-huge claws and messing up whatever you're wearing.

They track dirt everywhere.

No matter where they poop, you have to pick it up and move it.

Dogs are cute, but not to own. Leave the dog-owning to the insane, and don't go to their houses. Their houses stink and you will stink, too, after a little while. It's like going to a smoker's house, only the smoker won't jump all over you, shed on you, and get slobber on your shoes. Or chew on any- and everything in the reach of their mouths.

Return of the Fool of a Took!

My elder sister, E--, took the Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you? quiz at my behest and wound up as


which is rather appropriate, considering I'm "Pippin and his complete simple-mindedness". Which I am. See?

Returning to high seas

Went to see Master and Commander again. The screen was okay, but smaller than the one I saw it on the first time. The sound was crap, located entirely to the front. The soundscape in M&C is increadible: there is always the water and the creaking wood of the ship. However, you couldn't hear it in the theater we went to last night. This was very disappointing, as I wanted my sister and nephews to have the same experience I did when I saw it for the first time. My comfort is that their sound system at home is professional-grade (as my brother-in-law, M---, sets up systems like this for his job for major corporations and obscenely wealthy and such). They'll be able to hear every lap of water, every creak of timber and rope.

M&C is a bit like a documentary. You observe what happens during a certain period of time. It's brilliant. I never once thought I'm watching FX. The fighting ships of war looked like they had actually filmed fighting ships of war. Even with this observational, documentarian style which Weir chose, I found I cared for what happened to the men on the ship, to the ship, to its doctor, and I understood a little of what the men saw in their captain and why they were willing to sail around the Horn at his command.

Anyway, it's worth seeing and I'm very glad I saw it again.

Still want to see Return of the King again, though.

Fool of a Took!

"Congratulations! You're Pippin!"


Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you?
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